brahmabull117 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Hate to inform you, but YOU are the one with the bad attitude, dude. No insults. Just think about it... What did I say there that was insulting? 49,000 is seemingly a nice guy but I think he's 24 and basically unemployed and in a dead end situation. There's no reason that he can't pull himself out and get to where he wants to be. There's nothing separating him from the guys who do have everything he wants (IE, career, girlfriend, etc...) except he himself. That applies to everything in life That's all I was saying. There's no reason why all the guys here like some dude and 49,000 can't be successful
jobaba Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 What did I say there that was insulting? 49,000 is seemingly a nice guy but I think he's 24 and basically unemployed and in a dead end situation. There's no reason that he can't pull himself out and get to where he wants to be. There's nothing separating him from the guys who do have everything he wants (IE, career, girlfriend, etc...) except he himself. That applies to everything in life That's all I was saying. There's no reason why all the guys here like some dude and 49,000 can't be successful I meant that I could have insulted you but I don't want to. I'll attribute a lot of your attitudes to the fact that you are young, male, and probably hang out in a crowd that swings with the 'winners and losers' attitude. Not a good attitude. I know people who were working at Goldman and Sachs when they were 23 years old, so to them, YOU would be the loser. See the cyclical mentality here? Also, I told you this before. Going to a Top 25 school doesn't mean Jack-sh@t. I went to a Top 25 school, and over half of my friends graduated from Top 25 schools (obviously some of them went to school with me), many of them Ivy. So I wouldn't brag about it if I were you. MAYBE if you went to Harvard, Princeton, or Yale but it would still be arrogant. But bragging that you went to Michigan, Virgina, USC, or Brown, or wherever else. Stupid...
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 What did I say there that was insulting? 49,000 is seemingly a nice guy but I think he's 24 and basically unemployed and in a dead end situation. There's no reason that he can't pull himself out and get to where he wants to be. There's nothing separating him from the guys who do have everything he wants (IE, career, girlfriend, etc...) except he himself. That applies to everything in life That's all I was saying. There's no reason why all the guys here like some dude and 49,000 can't be successful I have more faith in my ability to have a good career than I do my ability to ever have a girlfriend. It's something that I do believe is out of reach for me. I know it is, because I've tried plenty before and failed.
betterdeal Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Individual variation from the median is so great that averages are useless. 2
brahmabull117 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 I meant that I could have insulted you but I don't want to. I'll attribute a lot of your attitudes to the fact that you are young, male, and probably hang out in a crowd that swings with the 'winners and losers' attitude. Not a good attitude. All I was saying was that in life you have people who go after what they want and you have people who sit back and make excuses for why they can't get what they want You're looking at the quote much much more maliciously than I intended it to be. I never meant that as an insult towards anybody. My only intention was to give some perspective. There is no difference between the guys here who are struggling to make a living and the guys who are highly educated and who have well paying jobs. That's all I was saying and you interpreted that much much more maliciously than I intended it I have friends who are not well off and I certainly don't judge them. I do try to help them out but I don't consider them lesser people because they're not on the same path that I or even people far more successful than me are on My role model in life is my best friend's older brother - a guy who is a multi millionaire at the age of 35 and he always tells me that A)Money never makes him happy, it's just a way to take care of his friends and family and have the opportunities to do the things he wants to do and B)You can't have an ego because you may or may not be successful. Nobody is better than anybody else because of what they have accomplished I know people who were working at Goldman and Sachs when they were 23 years old, so to them, YOU would be the loser. See the cyclical mentality here. I was making 60 grand at the age of 21 working as one of the better sales reps for Verizon Truth be told, I should have graduated from school when I was 21/turning 22. I wasted a f*cking year because I went into finance and I absolutely hated it so I had to change my degree to management and take about 3 more semesters to graduate. I actually failed my level 450-500 finance courses because I hated it so much. This was a total mistake - I was never made to work in finance, but oh well. What are you going to do? Anyways, we'll see what happens. I have about 3 years of sales experience and I dominated all 3 years so I think I have a chance to accomplish my long term goals - which is eventually become a sales executive at a company like say a president of sales or something Sorry for going so far off topic, I just wanted to clear some things up
brahmabull117 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 I have more faith in my ability to have a good career than I do my ability to ever have a girlfriend. It's something that I do believe is out of reach for me. I know it is, because I've tried plenty before and failed. What do they say about "whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right"? If you're reasonably decent looking and have a semblance of social skills, there's no reason why you can't get a girlfriend
iris219 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 What do they say about "whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right"? If you're reasonably decent looking and have a semblance of social skills, there's no reason why you can't get a girlfriend Yet there are people who have all the above and more and still have trouble dating. 1
brahmabull117 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Yet there are people who have all the above and more and still have trouble dating. If there are hundreds of millions of people doing it, it can't possibly be that hard
iris219 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 If there are hundreds of millions of people doing it, it can't possibly be that hard It's not that it's hard.* Some people have bad luck.* Some people make bad decisions. Some people have a hard time feeling a spark for just anyone.* Some people aren't easily compatible with lots of people.* If being smart, kind, fun, and pretty were all that were needed to be successful in dating, I don't think I ever would have found LS.*
jobaba Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 (edited) I was making 60 grand at the age of 21 working as one of the better sales reps for Verizon Truth be told, I should have graduated from school when I was 21/turning 22. I wasted a f*cking year because I went into finance and I absolutely hated it so I had to change my degree to management and take about 3 more semesters to graduate. I actually failed my level 450-500 finance courses because I hated it so much. This was a total mistake - I was never made to work in finance, but oh well. What are you going to do? Anyways, we'll see what happens. I have about 3 years of sales experience and I dominated all 3 years so I think I have a chance to accomplish my long term goals - which is eventually become a sales executive at a company like say a president of sales or something Sorry for going so far off topic, I just wanted to clear some things up Tone is everything man. You don't waltz into a place of work and say I went to this and that school, I made this and that much $ when I was 14 years old. Don't do it. Trust me... Also, it sounds like you have some maturing to do yourself. I don't care how much you hated a course, you don't fail an undergraduate course if you put in the effort. Worst case scenario, you get a B or a C. Work is all about doing crap you don't want to do... I'm just saying. You come off like you're that much higher than 49. In reality, you guys are in similar positions. No biggie. We all have improvements to make. It seems like you do mean well, though I'm sure you'll mature. Edited August 3, 2012 by jobaba 1
brahmabull117 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 You don't waltz into a place of work and say I went to this and that school, I made this and that much $ when I was 14 years old. Don't do it. Trust me... Not at all. Like I said I have a ferocious work ethic I'm disappointed if I get into a sales job and I'm not at least in the top 10% of performers. Preferably I'd like to be in the top 5 or top 2% and I'll do whatever it takes to get there Also, it sounds like you have some maturing to do yourself. I don't care how much you hated a course, you don't fail an undergraduate course if you put in the effort. Worst case scenario, you get a B or a C. I tried and I tried, I just couldn't do it. I don't like math and my all instructors were weird Indian and Russian guys an the book was useless. it was just a disaster. I changed to management and it was like a perfect fit I'm just saying. You come off like you're that much higher than 49. In reality, you guys are in similar positions. It seems like you do mean well, though I'm sure you'll mature. I don't agree. Simply because I know exactly what I want to do with my life and I have the drive and determination to get it done. That's half the battle in my view Anyways, all I was saying was that there is no tangible difference between 49,000, some dude and the guys who are in their early 20s with college degrees and high paying jobs. You intended it as if I meant to say that SD and 49,000 are losers and that was never the point. I would never call anybody a loser unless they had no interest at all in improving themselves in any shape or form
kaylan Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 This is pretty damn derogatory towards men V. What you quoted though is exactly how many men think and behave on this forum and in real life. Id say most dudes are like that.
Bristolius Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 This is also an interesting article about why/how men start hating women via the dating game: 5 Ways Modern Men Are Trained to Hate Women | Cracked.com Great quote: "...there are two ways to dehumanize someone: by dismissing them, and by idolizing them." This is more interesting than the OP's article. It's even funny. Good find. 1
Monm82 Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 (edited) Yeah, I'm so tired of the cliche "Most guys who struggle in dating are going for women way out of their league". Guys do a lot of talking about hot women, but most know the reality. Most are realistic. As I've said before about options: Women have way more sex and dating options. Relationships are closer to even, but still women have an advantage there. Edited August 4, 2012 by Monm82
betterdeal Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 Yeah, I'm so tired of the cliche "Most guys who struggle in dating are going for women way out of their league". Guys do a lot of talking about hot women, but most know the reality. Most are realistic. As I've said before about options: Women have way more sex and dating options. Relationships are closer to even, but still women have an advantage there. With whom? 1
brahmabull117 Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 Relationships are closer to even, but still women have an advantage there. How can this possible when women's relationship options ARE men? You've just never met the top 20% of men who have tons and tons of options. I promise you it's all about equal in the end
betterdeal Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 (edited) If this debate was anthropological in concern, these statistics and estimates would be on interest, possibly of use, but it is not: it is deeply, intrinsically, personal to many of the debaters. The averages are still, always will be, useless in a personal context. Even the statistic of there being slightly more men to women in the USA is useless because people are not distributed evenly (not to mention the many more men who are unavailable due to being in prison). Taking macro-data (real, imagined, or educated guessed at) and using it to explain why you are having difficulties doesn't help you overcome those difficulties unless you rise to meet the challenges you think these data represent. You think women want supermen who drive Bentleys and have a billion in the bank? Well, go and get a frigging Bentley and make vast sums of wealth. I believe you who make these arguments are using these data and suppositions about what women want to create a hopeless, impossible reality: a set of conditions that can't be met, to satisfy something internal to you. I'll tell you what women want: connection. They want the same thing as you, which is to feel connect to the other, to step out of the self-conscious "I" and to just be, which is the state of being we enter when we connect with an Other. When you play (as in, play a game, do a jigsaw, roll down a hill), and it feels great and liberating - that's what it is to "be" and to let go of the self-conscious "I" and it feels liberating. That's what is at the heart of a relationship - letting go of your Self and just Being in the moment. Learn to let go of your inhibitions and you'll connect more with women. And you'll also be more vulnerable and it will be scary, but you'll get through that. Accept the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, be. Edited August 4, 2012 by betterdeal 4
brahmabull117 Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 If this debate was anthropological in concern, these statistics and estimates would be on interest, possibly of use, but it is not: it is deeply, intrinsically, personal to many of the debaters. The averages are still, always will be, useless in a personal context. Even the statistic of there slightly more men to women men in the USA is useless because people are not distributed evenly (not to mention the many more men who are unavailable due to being in prison). Taking macro-data (real, imagined, or educated guessed at) and using it to explain why you are having difficulties doesn't help you overcome those difficulties unless you rise to meet the challenges you think these data represent. You think women want supermen who drive Bentleys and have a billion in the bank? Well, go and get a frigging Bentley and make vast sums of wealth. I believe you who make these arguments are using these data and suppositions about what women want to create a hopeless, impossible reality: a set of conditions that can't be met, to satisfy something internal to you. I'll tell you what women want: connection. They want the same thing as you, which is to feel connect to the other, to step out of the self-conscious "I" and to just be, which is the state of being we enter when we connect with an Other. When you play (as in, play a game, do a jigsaw, roll down a hill), and it feels great and liberating - that's what it is to "be" and to let go of the self-conscious "I" and it feels liberating. That's what is at the heart of a relationship - letting go of your Self and just Being in the moment. Learn to let go of your inhibitions and you'll connect more with women. And you'll also be more vulnerable and it will be scary, but you'll get through that. Accept the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, be. 5 star post, can I like this twice?
betterdeal Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 Forget thinking of it in terms of power and, paradoxically, you'll feel empowered. 1
Lonely Ronin Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 I think this is what most of the people on this forum that complain all the time need to hear. 3
jobaba Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 If being smart, kind, fun, and pretty were all that were needed to be successful in dating, I don't think I ever would have found LS.* The problem is... Everybody thinks they are all those. Maybe not everybody thinks they are physically attractive, but ALMOST EVERYBODY thinks they are smart, kind, and fun. Almost every serious douchebag I have met in real life thinks he is a nice guy.
jobaba Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 I think this is what most of the people on this forum that complain all the time need to hear. Love it. Funny thing is ... everybody knows how cut-throat, mean, and nasty the world is ... yet they keep contributing to making it more mean and nasty and cut-throat...
oaks Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 Haven't read the article but it's a trick question. Maybe that's what it says. If you approach dating thinking that someone has to have the power then you're doing it wrong. 2
ThaWholigan Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 Haven't read the article but it's a trick question. Maybe that's what it says. If you approach dating thinking that someone has to have the power then you're doing it wrong. A lot of people view life and relationships as power games - dominate or be dominated.
oaks Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 A lot of people view life and relationships as power games - dominate or be dominated. Yes, I agree. It's a pity.
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