Emilia Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 This is pretty damn derogatory towards men V. I didn't think so. I thought it tried to encourage men to step away from the scarcity mentality and to help them understand the frustrations women face too
Emilia Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Nope. I don't agree with the author. Because he says things like this: Is this something that I'm supposed to relate to and say "yeah he's right"? If he's not trying to make sweeping generalizations then he's just writing an article that isn't even needed. Have you read the full article? It isn't the gist of it at all
Woggle Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 I thought it was a fantastic article, very balanced and reasonable Blaming men for everything isn't anymore balanced than blaming women for everything.
Emilia Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 It reads like the PUA ideas to develop "inner game". Example: "scarcity mentality". It explains what it is and why you should discount it The article tries to discount the PUA arguments one by one to take various myths out of dating (that keeps the PUA community going might I add)
brahmabull117 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Blaming men for everything isn't anymore balanced than blaming women for everything. the whole article states that basically both men and women struggle about equally 2
Els Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Nope. I don't agree with the author. Because he says things like this: Is this something that I'm supposed to relate to and say "yeah he's right"? If he's not trying to make sweeping generalizations then he's just writing an article that isn't even needed. Yet in the end, the gist of his article is completely equivalent to what you said. You don't need to agree with every single statement in an article to agree with it as a whole. If that were needed, nobody would ever be in agreement. I completely disagree that his article 'isn't even needed'. Perhaps it isn't for most people, but IMO it is needed for many, many men who are seeking help on dating and relationships online. I could dig up probably 20 recent threads here about some of the 'beliefs' he talked about. This is pretty damn derogatory towards men V. I think the author pretty much means the sort of men who actually believe that 'Women hold all the power in dating', when he talks about men. He should probably have qualified that, though. 3
ThaWholigan Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 This article is spot-on, and with just the right amount of controversy. It's stuff I've been alluding to a lot. 1
Emilia Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 I found some of the links interesting, especially the one on 'intimidating' women in relation to shy/introverted men. Some very good points to consider I thought.
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 I think the author pretty much means the sort of men who actually believe that 'Women hold all the power in dating', when he talks about men. He should probably have qualified that, though. For some men women do hold all of the power in dating. Taking the aggregate view does no justice to people on an individual basis. If you're a guy like me for example saying that women as a whole have just as hard a time as men as a whole is totally useless. That doesn't help me at all, because I'm not some anonymous male, I'm me. I would say the same thing about v as well. That's what I didn't agree with the author on and why I think it's a totally useless article. Because men and women who are struggling to date are struggling for a reason. Not because of hokus pokus philosophies about "scarcity mentality", etc. If you don't address the reason, you don't fix the problem.
Emilia Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 For some men women do hold all of the power in dating. Taking the aggregate view does no justice to people on an individual basis. If you're a guy like me for example saying that women as a whole have just as hard a time as men as a whole is totally useless. That doesn't help me at all, because I'm not some anonymous male, I'm me. I would say the same thing about v as well. That's what I didn't agree with the author on and why I think it's a totally useless article. Because men and women who are struggling to date are struggling for a reason. Not because of hokus pokus philosophies about "scarcity mentality", etc. If you don't address the reason, you don't fix the problem. He explains why you are struggling though and why you should take women off the pedestal. Not to look for excuses why it's not true. It IS true, especially in your case. You are the case in point. 1
Els Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 For some men women do hold all of the power in dating. Taking the aggregate view does no justice to people on an individual basis. If you're a guy like me for example saying that women as a whole have just as hard a time as men as a whole is totally useless. That doesn't help me at all, because I'm not some anonymous male, I'm me. I would say the same thing about v as well. That's what I didn't agree with the author on and why I think it's a totally useless article. Because men and women who are struggling to date are struggling for a reason. Not because of hokus pokus philosophies about "scarcity mentality", etc. If you don't address the reason, you don't fix the problem. Ah, so this article was precisely for you. Don't you think that if you're not getting success and you wish to have it, you would do well to at least try some of the advice written by people with more success themselves, before debunking it as 'totally useless'?
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 He explains why you are struggling though and why you should take women off the pedestal. Not to look for excuses why it's not true. It IS true, especially in your case. You are the case in point. I didn't put women on the pedestal. They are already there from my view point. When you're in a five foot ditch everyone is on a pedestal. That's what I'm saying.
Author verhrzn Posted August 3, 2012 Author Posted August 3, 2012 That's what I didn't agree with the author on and why I think it's a totally useless article. Because men and women who are struggling to date are struggling for a reason. Not because of hokus pokus philosophies about "scarcity mentality", etc. If you don't address the reason, you don't fix the problem. A lot of his other articles address the specific reasons; this was more a "general" article dismantling common myths that certain types of guys have about dating. Seriously, his website is a fantastic resource. My only complaint is that it is (obviously) geared towards nerdy men. He touches on the issues nerdy women have occasionally, but none that I run into, so it isn't a good resource for me personally. (Partially why I thought about doing a blog; if there aren't any resources that relate to me, I should make one.) But I still love his advice.
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Ah, so this article was precisely for you. Don't you think that if you're not getting success and you wish to have it, you would do well to at least try some of the advice written by people with more success themselves, before debunking it as 'totally useless'? No I don't. I know it might shock people, but I'm not a totally useless person myself. I might be somewhat reluctant to talk to women sometimes, but that's because of my past experiences. I didn't get this way overnight, nobody does. You talk to enough women who act annoyed by your presence or give you the overall vibe that they want you to go away, or something along those lines you understand what's going on. It isn't them, it isn't your life philosophy, it's you as a person.
Lonely Ronin Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 How so? You see a lot of those same opinions on this forum, in thread after thread. Is it derogatory to point out that a lot of "unsuccessful guys" believe those statements? One, The guys on this forum spewing that crap, are not normal or average. The also don't represent all men. take the following quote The problem is that men are viewing women through the prism of the male experience: the goal of getting sex as quickly as possible, as easily as possible. While exceptions certainly exist, women on the whole don’t approach casual sex the way that men do; he presents this point of view as the norm, and I can tell you as a man, who has many many normal male friends, this point of view is very much the minority.
Lonely Ronin Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 I think the author pretty much means the sort of men who actually believe that 'Women hold all the power in dating', when he talks about men. He should probably have qualified that, though. That I would agree with. 1
Author verhrzn Posted August 3, 2012 Author Posted August 3, 2012 One, The guys on this forum spewing that crap, are not normal or average. The also don't represent all men. take the following quote he presents this point of view as the norm, and I can tell you as a man, who has many many normal male friends, this point of view is very much the minority. Well, we could stack up personal experiences next to each other's til the cows come home, but this IS a fairly common male belief, even if you haven't run into it. My experience has been that guys care about numbers until they meet The Perfect Girl, and then they want a relationship. Essentially, all guys are (or want to be) players until they find the girl of their dreams. It's certainly been true of all of my exes and my male friends.
Els Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 No I don't. I know it might shock people, but I'm not a totally useless person myself. I might be somewhat reluctant to talk to women sometimes, but that's because of my past experiences. I didn't get this way overnight, nobody does. You talk to enough women who act annoyed by your presence or give you the overall vibe that they want you to go away, or something along those lines you understand what's going on. It isn't them, it isn't your life philosophy, it's you as a person. I think his point was that many women are also treated in that manner. Failure to understand and empathize with that says a lot about a person. 1
Bristolius Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 It explains what it is and why you should discount it The article tries to discount the PUA arguments one by one to take various myths out of dating (that keeps the PUA community going might I add) The article reads exactly like a PUA article. It makes the same arguments as PUA material does. So the question becomes, is PUA bad if this is good?
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Well, we could stack up personal experiences next to each other's til the cows come home, but this IS a fairly common male belief, even if you haven't run into it. My experience has been that guys care about numbers until they meet The Perfect Girl, and then they want a relationship. Essentially, all guys are (or want to be) players until they find the girl of their dreams. It's certainly been true of all of my exes and my male friends. Like Ronin, I've never encountered this. And I do have a pretty good number of friends who are "regular guys". So "all"? Nope, not quite.
Author verhrzn Posted August 3, 2012 Author Posted August 3, 2012 The article reads exactly like a PUA article. It makes the same arguments as PUA material does. So the question becomes, is PUA bad if this is good? HOW does it make the same arguments? Please break down the article with evidence to prove your point.
ThaWholigan Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 The article reads exactly like a PUA article. It makes the same arguments as PUA material does. So the question becomes, is PUA bad if this is good? It's similar to a lot of recent PUA material, yes. But recent PUA material is not even PUA anymore
joystickd Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Let me get my mack music going Willie Hutch- I Choose You - YouTube Well this article agrees with my point of we all choosers waiting to be choose. Honestly the only women that actually do the choosin is in the real deal pimp game. They choose the pimp and break themselves, but that is a whole other issue. The whole thing is to be receptive to people that are choosing us and see if they fit what we desire. Often the struggles come from people we desire not choosing us.
Author verhrzn Posted August 3, 2012 Author Posted August 3, 2012 Like Ronin, I've never encountered this. And I do have a pretty good number of friends who are "regular guys". So "all"? Nope, not quite. *Shrugs* Maybe because they don't believe it's possible for them to be players. I'd bet some heavy amount of money that if a genie popped up, and told every male in the world that they would have the ability to sleep with any woman they wanted (without fear of STDs, pregnancy, etc.), my guess is a heavy majority of men would take him up on it. Again, not saying these same guys don't want a relationship, or wouldn't eventually settle down. They'd just play around first and then get a relationship.
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