HumptyDumpty Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Hello guys! I'm kinda new here even though I read loads of probs already... but I'd like your opinions for my case, I'd highly appreciate... Now, I broke up with my ex this April after a 6 month relationship. It wasn't an easy one, with lots of probs from my side (parents kicked me out, me depressed, my studies etc), him moving, ... We had times where his "feelings" were fading away (alarm, alarm!), due to the few times we met as well. We saw each other only once a week even though we live in the same town and well, we got into tiny fights with a deal-breaker: the future! At that time I was 20, he 32 and well, had different opinions (me wanting marriage in the future and a kid, him absolutely the contrary) and in April I called it off, break-up since it affected me a lot and I saw no hope solving this (even with a change of opinion from my side)... I guess he felt better I called it off and not, as not to hurt me... Then came the friends part after like 1/2 weeks of NC. My prob was: I couldn't let go. It made me suffer going NC and loosing him, so we stayed in contact. However, I had probs. I remember one night at his house, we ate at a take-away but I ended up later crying, telling him that I missed him... and a silence from his part (no "I miss you too" or other: he seemed to have moved on). On the contrary he hated it to see me crying, not knowing what to do (guess inexperience, 4 months of us together broke his records of "longest" relationship you see...) I went NC just the time before my b-day. he didn't even send a text that day, I was sad but happy as well, I moved on and was really happy... He sent a text 3 days later (!!!) whereas I was always thoughtful... So, resume all this time: the longest NC was about 2 weeks and I broke off the most of the time, recontacting him or he did. Now, he knows that I still have feelings for him, making me suffer. I told him already it's either all (relationship) or nothing, leaving him unimpressed. I threatened with NC, no friendship at all... however he moved on, not me. So, I grew up a bit and moved on as well, having learned to live with those feelings and offer a pure friendship. We get on very well, apart from this dealbreaker, and it makes me sad to loose him, he still is special. It's like this: we can't live with each other, and can't without each other either! So... we're only friends. No kissing, no sex. We hang out a lot, going to the beach or to a restaurant. We laugh a lot. We text each other throughout the day. I guess he's not dating, seeing the texting all day. But... how "friend" can you be? I mean, sometimes it's like dating without the physical part (except some poking in my ribs lol). He appreciates me but the love is dead, sometimes I end up crying, missing him as my bf! Sometimes, I feel like saying "**** this, we get along perfectly, let's forget the future and be happy together in a relationship" however, I fear hitting a wall with this, since he perfectly knows how much I still hang on to him and showed no intention whatsoever to get back together. Well... 2 days ago, on the beach i told him i was at the phone at 3 in the morning with someone. he was nosy, wanting to know who (my bf? or other?), I didn't tell however. Later that night in a text, he wanted to know again, saying you don't phone anyone at 3 in the morning... and well, I cracked again! I got furious, telling him that I had a hard time moving on since I still loved him, now I'm meeting new people, if I had a bf I would have told him and that my "love stories" have nothing to do there, it's not interesting, that I never asked him which girl he is dating or seeing... he wanted to cut all contact as not to annoy me... Since we can't meet up like adults to talk (he didn't want to), I had to explain through texts that I'm not moody (like the past weeks), just writing an opinion and that I didn't want to loose him as a friend especially at a time where I need a friend the most now (I'm moving, stressing, depressed at times, etc)... the next day we went to the beach and didn't approach the subject anymore, just relaxing and laughing.... Now, as you can see haha, I'm confused. I don't want him back as a bf, reason the past. But at times I miss him as my bf, he's special, i never met anyone as mad as him, he's just like me, that's why we can't cut any contact. However, how will this go when one of us starts dating? :/ Is there any chance getting back together or should I Just appreciate him as a friend? I don't want to loose him as this? Should I just say "forget the past, let's get back together" with his distant attitude? How much contact is good? Could be boredom at the moment, being "single" (not from my side, i like him a lot)? Having moved on a bit, can dating a guy from my side be a prob for our friendship? Should I just wait and see how things turn out? Anyone who was in this situation already? A big big thank you if you read all of this! As a gift, you've got a little bunny here: =D And advice is appreciated.
Recommended Posts