Telaroca Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Hi! I just wanted to hear your opinion about my situation..any advices would be appreciated! I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2years...we really have a great relationship,good communication and we are honest to each other. We feel that in the future we can really be a solid couple. But...the drama starts here.... He has a house and a 3-year old kid...the mother, the baby and him lives in the house but in separate rooms..Basically,they are just in the same house to take care of the baby while they go to work alternately... I know that they are not together anymore becase everything that happens in his life he tells me..their relationship is just so negative to the point of him calling the cops on her... Anyway, my issue is that eventhough he's not with the mother of his child he still could not let go of her because of the baby..he is so close to selling the house but back out since he is not ready to give up the house and the his daughter. He feels that once he sells the house,he could not see his daughter everytime. He tells me that he doesn't want to blame me for his mistakes if he lets go when he is not ready yet...don't get me wrong, i don't want him to abando his daughter just for me, i just want him to fully commit to me.. What should I do,just let him deal with his drama first?it's just so hard when you find someone who you've been looking for so long...help!!
KMC1990 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 I think his real focus here is making his daughter's life as stable as can be. You likely have his full commitment, but his daughter is always going to be first in his life. Do you have any suspicions that he's still in love with her mother?
KatZee Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 I think there is probably more to the story than he's letting you in on. I get that he loves his daughter, he doesn't want to give up his daughter... but who said anything about giving her up? When a divorce happens, they also discuss raising the child, custody, sharing of custody, etc. I feel like this one you have to let go. He's never going to be the commitment you're looking for. He still lives in his house, with this woman, with his child. You didn't mention it... are they married? Why do I have the feeling they are married and you're the other woman? If they're married, please walk away. He's very unlikely to leave his wife and child... and you will continue on for years and years hoping he will give you something he can't, and won't.
SpiderxMan Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Theres definitely more to this story, He might be the type to put his daughter first. But something don't sound right about this so called "ex wife".
KatZee Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Theres definitely more to this story, He might be the type to put his daughter first. But something don't sound right about this so called "ex wife". I don't think she's an ex at all. That's the problem. I think the guy's having an affair, and that's what I feel this is. OP if the man is married, please walk away now. No matter what he tells you, that he loves you, wants you, hates his wife, etc etc... he's not leaving her. And he's not GOING to leave her. Married men rarely if ever leave a marriage for the other woman. They may leave eventually, but it's rarely for the one he's been having an affair with.
Author Telaroca Posted August 4, 2012 Author Posted August 4, 2012 I think his real focus here is making his daughter's life as stable as can be. You likely have his full commitment, but his daughter is always going to be first in his life. Do you have any suspicions that he's still in love with her mother? I don't have any feelings or suspicions that he is still in love with her, i really feel that he is honest to me..and you are right,he wants everything for his daughter..wants to provide anything and everything for her...but he's the type of person that doesn't want to lose..as ****ed up as that sounds...that's why I feel that he doesn't want to commit to me yet because he might regret giving up what he worked for..his house,his being comfortable as well as a shelter for his daughter..
Author Telaroca Posted August 4, 2012 Author Posted August 4, 2012 No,they're not married...he just bought the house because he will have a family but things happen and never worked out between them..
Author Telaroca Posted August 4, 2012 Author Posted August 4, 2012 Deep inside my heart,i know what to do..i guess I just need some validation that it's never gonna happen that he will give up what he has just to commit to me..I am not a person to get in between a father and his child, i just don'tknow why he feels that once he commit to me he will lose everything..
melindalea Posted August 4, 2012 Posted August 4, 2012 does he allow you to go the house where he lives? Have you ever spoken to the wife? It's hard to beleive they live in the same house yet seperately, sounds like he's having an affair and you are the other woman. 1
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