Ca8518 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 I met someone OLD 5 weeks ago and we had an immediate connection. We soon spent our free time together and spent most nights over each other's places. He was very supportive of my past and wanted to help me move past my last relationship which was emotionally abusive. He had me hang out with his friends and family on a regular basis and even talked about how he thought he would marry me and how lucky he was to find me. We are both early thirties and he has only had one relationship and it lasted a few months. Out of the blue he tells me he wants to end things even though I make him happy because he doesn't feel like we will be together "down the road". I am so confused and hurt and have no idea what happened. I know we moved fast for a short period of time but he was pushing me. Then when he had me committed, he no longer wants a relationship? When we broke up he told me he has "romantic" feelings for me, is still attracted to me, thinks I am a great girlfriend, believes we could have a good life together, and I still mean a lot to him but then says to move on and he knows I will be with other people but he wants me to be happy and that it won't work out for us and it's over. He also got right back into OLD. No clue if he is talking to anyone. My problem is that he started texting me 2 nights ago. Didn't mention the breakup other than he and his family missed me. We made plans to make dinner at my house and go do something fun together this weekend. After we made plans he made a comment that this is just a "friendly" dinner and wanted to make sure my hopes aren't up. I said yes and they are not up. He said he's glad I'm moving on. Then last night we were joking back and forth and he asked if I had a date. I said no and asked if he had any, he said no. I don't know if he really cares so little for me that the thought of me dating doesn't bother him or if he really wanted to know. I have no idea what is going on and how to handle him this Saturday! Any comments, advice or suggestions? Thank you so much!
TaraMaiden Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Your ex- isn't the one not making things easy - it's you. you need to draw a line in the sand, and if ex- means ex- then tell him - ex means ex. When you break up with someone, there is no point in maintaining a friendly relationship, particularly if there is still confusion about emotions. And this sounds like a right ol' mish-mash. You need to actually sever all contact, and tell him that really, it would be better for all concerned if you guys just didn't hang out together any more - and cancel, absolutely cancel, this weekend's plans. Read the no Contact guide in my signature. This is wrong, on so many levels - and it's just going to get wronger-er.... (oh, and ignore the above poster. He's a bag of misogynistic thrills....)
madjac74 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 It sounds like he doesn't want you but wants to keep tabs on you and doesn't want anyone else to have you. Keep him as a friend if you want but it sounds like he will try to control you and mess with your head emotionally while he is dating other people. Perhaps he wants to keep you at arm's length in case he can't find anyone better. Regardless he seems like a mess and someone to be avoided.
Author Ca8518 Posted August 3, 2012 Author Posted August 3, 2012 Thank you for the responses. As soon as I saw my post, my first thought was he's not making it difficult, I am for letting him back in and mess with me all over again. I agree with you both of you that this is wrong. I wish it were easier for me to separate heart from head. Our whole relationship was so confusing but I feel I don't deserve the little crumbs he has given me this whole time. I loved the no contact rule book. It's right on. Guess I'll stand my ground and cancel. I have enough friends!
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