theskyisblue Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Hey so haven't heard from the ex in weeks and then yesterday I get a text saying hope things are well and she's moving and found some of my stuff (it's quite important stuff that I should get) and would I like it? Two x's on the text as well. Not going to think too much about it but how do I respond without sounding like I want her back. I don't want to arrange for other people to get it - that seems like I can't cope with things. Why would she feel the need to be nice, send 2 x's and ask a question? It means if I respond I won't be in NC but if I don't respond I seem like I'm not getting on with things. Thoughts anybody?
The dot Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Send a friend around to collect your things for you, on the pretext that you are busy. Better yet, make sure you ARE busy by finding yourself something else to do, and send the friend around to get your things.
Author theskyisblue Posted August 3, 2012 Author Posted August 3, 2012 In some ways I'd like to go there, get it and walk away but not sure if that would actually happen. Sad to think I may have to actually get somebody to get this stuff. Who would think it'd be like this?
Author theskyisblue Posted August 3, 2012 Author Posted August 3, 2012 Anybody else have any thoughts on this? Advice is so helpful!
JesseMartin Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 You want to avoid seeing her, because that's likely to trigger a huge emotional reaction in you. You should be focusing on what YOUR needs are and what YOU want in your life right now. If this stuff is important to you, I would send her a brief and civil text. Saying thanks for the heads up and ask when is a good time to pick it up. Then send a friend to pick it up at that time, and instruct him to tell her that you were busy if she asks why you weren't picking it up. No other contact besides that.
jmjacobs31 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 get someone to get the stuff for you. There is no good in seeing her or going there and its only going to set you back. Who cares what she or anyone else thinks of you. Arrange for a friend to pick it up. Seeing her is only going to take you two steps back.
Chi townD Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Hey so haven't heard from the ex in weeks and then yesterday I get a text saying hope things are well and she's moving and found some of my stuff (it's quite important stuff that I should get) and would I like it? Two x's on the text as well. Not going to think too much about it but how do I respond without sounding like I want her back. I don't want to arrange for other people to get it - that seems like I can't cope with things. Why would she feel the need to be nice, send 2 x's and ask a question? It means if I respond I won't be in NC but if I don't respond I seem like I'm not getting on with things. Thoughts anybody? No, that means you're trying to give yourself permission to see her. Look, NC is a great tool to help you heal and move on. But, when you break NC when you know your not ready to do so, it puts you back to square one. I mean, really?!?! Do you honestly want me to believe that if you went over there you would knock on the door, walk over and pick up the box; walk back out the door and say " Hey , Thanks! See ya around!"?
edelveis Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Well for once have a cold blood just go get them and leave..you can prepare yourself and go get them..act cool and normal..show her that you are happy and you are moving on..
Canadian731 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Having a friend pick it up and tell her you had something come up that day shows no weakness on your part. Plus I strongly agree with everyone saying that seeing your ex will be a huge setback in the progression you have been making.
Author theskyisblue Posted August 5, 2012 Author Posted August 5, 2012 Hey everybody thanks for the advice and help. I contacted her and saw her. I started a thread after seeing her because I didn't really have a clue what to do. Thanks for all the help though. This place is so good for support.
YorickBrown Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Thanks for starting this thread. I can finally join the "My-Ex-Messaged-Me-What-Shall-I-Do" :confused:Club She texted me earlier today (after almost a month of NC). It was just a simple: "Good morning. How are you?" I didnt even recognized the number at first.... ...which is good, coz I didn't reply at all (I don't reply or answer to numbers I don't recognized anyways). I was going to text back and pretend to ask who was texting but thought the better of it...but the "temptation" was there Dodged a bullet (yeah, the drama). I dunno, if she texted me again I might have texted back...Problem is she didn't. Now Im kinda mad that I only got one text <sigh>
jackiki Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Hey everybody thanks for the advice and help. I contacted her and saw her. I started a thread after seeing her because I didn't really have a clue what to do. Thanks for all the help though. This place is so good for support. just like the fact that people ask for advice, and then end up doing what was least suggested!
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