zanzi Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 I do not want him back or love him anymore but I feel like the whole relationship was a lie and am suicidal I feel like he used me played with me like a puppet, I was just his long term **** buddy while he decided that he really loved his ex and ran back to her when she whistled for him. He used to trash her and pretend his heart was in it with us but it never was. Its the fact that a relationship I put so much time and effort into only solidified them as a couple and I was just a piggy in the middle to him, his rebound. He texted her when we were together and towards the end I got very suspicious. I am really seriously suicidal about things because I was grieving for a relationship that never existed, it only existed in my mind. I feel like I was used by them both and made a fool of. I feel like a slut.
todreaminblue Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 I do not want him back or love him anymore but I feel like the whole relationship was a lie and am suicidal I feel like he used me played with me like a puppet, I was just his long term **** buddy while he decided that he really loved his ex and ran back to her when she whistled for him. He used to trash her and pretend his heart was in it with us but it never was. Its the fact that a relationship I put so much time and effort into only solidified them as a couple and I was just a piggy in the middle to him, his rebound. He texted her when we were together and towards the end I got very suspicious. I am really seriously suicidal about things because I was grieving for a relationship that never existed, it only existed in my mind. I feel like I was used by them both and made a fool of. I feel like a slut. That is horrible that you feel that way,even if he went back to his ex it doesn't diminish the pain that he caused you.He sounds like a serial cheat, you are not responsible for him being defective,I know it doesnt seem like you will ever feel any better but that relationship was doomed to fail not because of you but because of him it is his fault, and when he gets tired of the girl friend he will move on to someone else and cause more heartache all round.Don't feel sad please try and seek some professional help even though you dont love him anymore it still hurts like crap.In times of extreme turmoil I always have a system maybe this will help you Firstly I try and decide what it is im feeling, in a quiet place with no distractions I isolate the emotions, and try and deal with it one emotion at a time,if I cant obtain a peaceful feeling and I still have no peace and uncomfortable thoughts and have started to actually have more bad feelings i will do step two The nest step I take is to talk to trusted family members or friends which I did recently actually, a family member who I know who would not lie and have my best interest at heart(this is where i struggle I dont want to upset anyone ) My favourite support person then sat with me and explained that my illness was causing people to not understand what I was saying,that my feelings although justified and understandable, were possibly not real and that I should consider others peoples feelings and the fact I was transferring emotions onto innocent people who had done nothing but be supportive to me, so she told me the truth. I felt much better, still cautious but a little bit of hope crept back I am hopeful again and letting myself take it slow. Thirdly I seek professional help which is always difficult for me but necessary, trusting others judgements is a concern, but I do it sometimes under the guidance of those around me.I always try to do the right thing for others as well as myself. YOU have family that care about you and to lose you would make them feel worse than what you are right now.You have hope in your heart I can read it in your words. I give you my hope as well, take it with you to a family member,what you are feeling is not wrong you are justified in feeling raw hurt and hopelessness. I am telling you that you can recover if you follow these steps.If you need any help I am here to offer advice the best that I can give anyway, the best advice is from people who know and love you and know the truth about you,your values and respect you as a person.They can make you feel worthwhile again and safe and give you ideas how to handle the situation and strategies. They will always have your best interest at heart if they have your trust, believe in them, and I dont know you but I am here, if you feel comfortable with posting to me I will try and help you.....best wishes deb.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 I do not want him back or love him anymore but I feel like the whole relationship was a lie and am suicidal I feel like he used me played with me like a puppet, I was just his long term **** buddy while he decided that he really loved his ex and ran back to her when she whistled for him. He used to trash her and pretend his heart was in it with us but it never was. Its the fact that a relationship I put so much time and effort into only solidified them as a couple and I was just a piggy in the middle to him, his rebound. He texted her when we were together and towards the end I got very suspicious. I am really seriously suicidal about things because I was grieving for a relationship that never existed, it only existed in my mind. I feel like I was used by them both and made a fool of. I feel like a slut. Your summation seems rather irrational, as it is along the lines of implying that humans just size one another up and drop everything when somebody of more favorable size is attainable. The fact is that he had an investment in that ex girlfriend, for some amount of time, and it is that investment he is valuing right now, and it has no bearing on you or your worth as a F***-buddy or anything else. Making-up unconfirmed details about his character does neither you nor anyone else any good. In 30 or 40 years, hopefully you will be thankful that human psychology is what it is, and that somebody you're then with doesn't trade you in for a 20yo who is much firmer and more attractive.
Car10e Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 Man, I'm so sorry. How long were you guys together? I just broke up with my bf of 4 1/2 years, and he was already seeing someone new the week we broke up. Everyone tells me, don't worry she's just a rebound, it won't last, but I can't help but think of how unfair it is to the other girl. He tells all of our mutual friends that he still loves me and that we aren't good for each other at the moment, yet he's going out on dates with this girl. Obviously, I dont like her, but I feel bad for her.
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