kyle77 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 So every now and then my ex texts me just to check up on me and see how I'm doing....that's not the problem. The problem is that last time we texted we were catching up and she let me know that she was going camping with her school (she is in geology and all geology students must go on this camping trip at some point to get there degree) she also let me know that she really wanted to hook up with her hot TA whilst on this trip....now why would she tell me that? is she just trying to get a rise out of me? So I shrugged it off but lately I have been feeling more and more concerned that she is actually going to do it.....I have no control over this situation and she is free to make her own decisions but how do I make myself less concerned over this. Ive been having nightmares lately about it and I just can't get my mind off it. I just don't want to have a severe setback because I think she hooked up with her TA..... anyone ever experienced this or know how to deal with something like this?
january2011 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 This is what "NC and block" is for. To mitigate the likelihood of having to deal with situations like this. Until she is out of your life, you will have to experience the chances of feeling hurt whenever you have to witness her sexual and romantic shenanigans. This is what being friends and keeping in touch with exes means. You either live with the pain and learn to grit your teeth or you cut off the source of the pain so that you can regain your emotional strength should you ever have to hear about her and her drama "accidentally" in the future. Your call.
Author kyle77 Posted August 3, 2012 Author Posted August 3, 2012 but i go to school with her....so eventually i will have to just be around her. Is there any way to just grow accustom to it? or do you still suggest just unfollowing her on twitter and Facebook and completely cutting off contact with her? even though in a little bit I will see her at school on a regular basis
january2011 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 unfollowing her on twitter and Facebook and completely cutting off contact with her At the very least. Pain is a part of life, but why would you willingly put up with it when you can do something about it? Forget peer pressure. Forget everyone telling you that you need to bite the bullet and act like it doesn't hurt. It does hurt. Since you can't avoid her at school, just be polite but brief if you are ever in close proximity and are forced to have a conversation. Excuse yourself as quickly as possible. It would be ridiculous to act like nothing is wrong and try to be chatty and friendly. You have history. Anyone who wants you to pretend otherwise and act like nothing bad happened between the two of you is forcing you to accept pain when you don't need to. This is why I advocate not staying friends with exes. Why should you be her confidante and listen to her talking about wanting to hook up with someone else. You don't owe her anything. And certainly not an ear to listen to her shenanigans. If she or anyone tells you that you are not being adult about this, then to hell with them. Adults don't purposefully stay in situations that are painful when they have a choice to do otherwise. Unless they are masochists and they somehow get something out of it. You don't seem to be getting anything out of it. So get her out of your life and get on with the healing and getting stronger. No more letting her bend your ear about her love life. You are not her friend and she most definitely is not yours when she willingly causes you pain and expects you to be accept it because of some fake notion of friendship. Spend time with friends who don't cause you pain and who make you feel good about yourself.
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