Emotions are off the chart!!

[SoConfusedAndInShock]

ok its been a hellish 48 hrs

 

wow, its already been more than a month w/o one word from him (going into the 6th week mark to be exact)...still can't believe it. Coming from him, the guy who used to cry about him fearing i would leave him, this is a shocker. (he even did that 2 weeks before he broke the BU) It speaks a lot tho. im glad i went NC.

 

Ohh geez im at the anger/hate stage. bring on the emotions...

the dreams of him are fading away but not completely. still tho, didn't get one bit of sleep last night. cried for hours for no reason. I went from being "ok" last few days to crying a river. UGH, and to think i was starting to do well. There's just so much anger/rage that has taken over me more than what and i would like. So like an idiot i was up talking to the moon the other day lol but hey it felt good (don't judge)

 

i hope whenever it hits him (i know it will soon or later) i pray that it knocks him down like a runaway train that's all i can say for now. Everyone keeps saying its his loss and hes gonna regret it when his new fling fades. who cares! i just wanna move past this stage and feel like myself again and be the bubbly girl I've always been. I've been heartbroken before but nothing like this. Wish he knew what he meant to me. But its w.e i know i was one heck of a girlfriend and best friend. More than what he deserved at times.

 

I just needed to get that off my chest!

[Mike_d]

sounds like you are doing just right, painful as it is. it takes an incredible amount of strength to go through all this. I do the dreams too, and I believe that all that crying just opens up space for better stuff to come in.

 

Saw this the other day, hope it helps somehow:

 

I believe broken is BEAUTIFUL, our SCARS are our strength, FAILURE is an option and rock bottom is a REAL place

 

just keep venting, and I really like you sig line

[KatZee]

Oh I feel you! I'm just coming out of the anger/hate stage. I was there well over a month, so I know exactly how you feel and I hated it so much. It takes so much energy out of you to hate someone... almost like it drains you on a daily basis. I wasn't sleeping well during this period, and I was angry from morning to evening.

 

I was like you though. I had been a bubbly fun person before him and I was so angry he took that from me, so one day I just started saying over and over to myself...

 

YOU'VE TAKEN SO MUCH FROM ME. YOU DON'T!!! GET TO TAKE MY SMILE!! :mad::mad::mad:

 

And that's when the anger started to dissipate and it doesn't consume me anymore. I still have my moments on occasion but they are fleeting and just as fast as they come, they leave.

 

I also have a really strong feeling my ex feels like the biggest as*hat on this planet, so that's also comforting. Lol.

 

You talk to the moon, that's not weird. I talk out loud to his dead mother. Some may find THAT weird... but even though I've never met her, we have a connection and I'm very thankful to her for a lot of things. (too spiritual to get into here but it's crazy.)

[SoConfusedAndInShock]

 

I believe broken is BEAUTIFUL, our SCARS are our strength, FAILURE is an option and rock bottom is a REAL place

 

Thank you so much Mike those are very encouraging words

 

 

 

Oh I feel you! I'm just coming out of the anger/hate stage. I was there well over a month, so I know exactly how you feel and I hated it so much. It takes so much energy out of you to hate someone... almost like it drains you on a daily basis. I wasn't sleeping well during this period, and I was angry from morning to evening.

 

I was like you though. I had been a bubbly fun person before him and I was so angry he took that from me, so one day I just started saying over and over to myself...

 

YOU'VE TAKEN SO MUCH FROM ME. YOU DON'T!!! GET TO TAKE MY SMILE!! :mad::mad::mad:

 

And that's when the anger started to dissipate and it doesn't consume me anymore. I still have my moments on occasion but they are fleeting and just as fast as they come, they leave.

 

I also have a really strong feeling my ex feels like the biggest as*hat on this planet, so that's also comforting. Lol.

 

You talk to the moon, that's not weird. I talk out loud to his dead mother. Some may find THAT weird... but even though I've never met her, we have a connection and I'm very thankful to her for a lot of things. (too spiritual to get into here but it's crazy.)

 

 

Kat,

 

omg i read your post last night as i was sitting here crying and my heart sank. i'm in the same spot as you as. he lied about the true intentions of the BU and now has disappeared to the shock of everyone. I heard he's got a girl already...im praying just like ur ex this rebound fails. I hope both our exs get what they deserve: HEARTBREAK AND MANY TEARS!!

 

Also, we all have different and funny ways of revealing our pain and stress. hope we can all come back and post good news someday.

[SoConfusedAndInShock]

I've fled Facebook, Twitter, and all other social sites because of him. I just don't wanna hear/see ANYTHING that maybe bring us to cross path in any shape or form.

 

-___-

[Floored]

Sounds like we're on the same cycle. I just about murdered a swingset today. People say it's a good phase to go through, and it's finally now that I see how little she gave but how much she took. I figured I could give and give and eventually fill her up and she'd spill some back to me; nope. I'm talking emotional support, financial support, even rubbing her back when she had cramps but never once received any kind of soothing touch. What a cold duck. She's doing the same thing your ex is doing, skipping through life thinking she's queen bee, even though she has the emotional maturity of a moldy towel.

 

Take comfort in this- our exes aren't dealing with this now because they choose to hide from the pain in another person's arms. They aren't experiencing the real roller coaster of emotions that will eventually spit them out on the other side, hopefully as a more mature person and not an emotional wreck. I tell myself this so I don't just go crazy. They'll either fall harder the second time because they'll deal with both breaks at the same time, or they'll repeat the cycle of avoiding the pain they caused and be forever doomed to their immature and unsuccessful lifestyle.

[SoConfusedAndInShock]

Sounds like we're on the same cycle. I just about murdered a swingset today. People say it's a good phase to go through, and it's finally now that I see how little she gave but how much she took. I figured I could give and give and eventually fill her up and she'd spill some back to me; nope. I'm talking emotional support, financial support, even rubbing her back when she had cramps but never once received any kind of soothing touch. What a cold duck. She's doing the same thing your ex is doing, skipping through life thinking she's queen bee, even though she has the emotional maturity of a moldy towel.

 

Take comfort in this- our exes aren't dealing with this now because they choose to hide from the pain in another person's arms. They aren't experiencing the real roller coaster of emotions that will eventually spit them out on the other side, hopefully as a more mature person and not an emotional wreck. I tell myself this so I don't just go crazy. They'll either fall harder the second time because they'll deal with both breaks at the same time, or they'll repeat the cycle of avoiding the pain they caused and be forever doomed to their immature and unsuccessful lifestyle.

 

 

Amen to EVERY SINGLE THING you just said!!

You just took that right out of my mouth.

Who knows maybe one day we'll read their stories on LS and laugh....i would cuz there's NOT a thing i didn't do for that half boy half sissy. yes you're not a man if you're influenced by "friends" and family and can't think for yourself plus right after the BU they go running into a new relationship for "comfort" thinking its love...yea comfort and love my ass.

 

as much as i want a second chance with him right now, i want him to suffer every bit of my pain or twice as much THEN come back Lord willing i cannot wait for that day to come.

[KatZee]

 

as much as i want a second chance with him right now, i want him to suffer every bit of my pain or twice as much THEN come back Lord willing i cannot wait for that day to come.

 

Believe me, the day will come where you don't want a second chance with him. I know you want it right now b/c you still love him but look what he did. Broke up with you for someone else. Lied to your face. You shouldn't want to be anyone's second choice.

[SoConfusedAndInShock]

Believe me, the day will come where you don't want a second chance with him. I know you want it right now b/c you still love him but look what he did. Broke up with you for someone else. Lied to your face. You shouldn't want to be anyone's second choice.

 

oh i believe you Kat

i was somewhat the same way with my first ex who had G.I.G.S and when he came back with tears and letters after 6 months i sent him back running but hes still chasing from far...BUT its just so differnt with this guy. i lost myself in a way over this damn BU but its just so empowering to come to a place like this where people can keep you in check.

 

P.S. WHEN/IF that happens though i will do a celebratory cartwheel all over LS lol

[KatZee]

 

P.S. WHEN/IF that happens though i will do a celebratory cartwheel all over LS lol

 

 

I'm with you on that one. I'm just anticipating the day I can come on here, create a thread that says, "The EX contacted me and wants to try again!!!"

 

and then the body of the thread will say...

 

I TOLD HIM TO PIS* OFF AND KICK ROCKS!!

[SoConfusedAndInShock]

I'm with you on that one. I'm just anticipating the day I can come on here, create a thread that says, "The EX contacted me and wants to try again!!!"

 

and then the body of the thread will say...

 

I TOLD HIM TO PIS* OFF AND KICK ROCKS!!

 

 

hahaha about the thread: OMG you and be both hun

 

ugh all i want it is for that long waited text from him with hey or anything for that matter... thats all i want for now just so i can ignore it lol how pathetic right??! still to have the willpower and strength to look at your phone and say "oh its you huh?!" im not at that stage yet but if i get there i will be beyond shocked and jubilated. i want the tables to turn on his ass so you and me can have a chit-chat about this day.

[KatZee]

hahaha about the thread: OMG you and be both hun

 

ugh all i want it is for that long waited text from him with hey or anything for that matter... thats all i want for now just so i can ignore it lol how pathetic right??! still to have the willpower and strength to look at your phone and say "oh its you huh?!" im not at that stage yet but if i get there i will be beyond shocked and jubilated. i want the tables to turn on his ass so you and me can have a chit-chat about this day.

 

bahahaha... stick around here long enough and I'm sure you and me both will go through this.

 

What I'm really anticipating is the day where I'm in a happy, loving relationship progressing towards engagement/marriage. I know my ex is incapable of this, he's incapable of manning up to the next level. I know he's going to have fling after fling, hoping that something "Just works out." What he doesn't realize is that things take work, and effort, and it takes communication. He's quite literally incapable of all of those things regardless of who he's with (inner demons).

 

I want him to one day be informed of the fact I've been in a happy, secure, loving relationship, and he can be shown the ring that's on my finger.

[SoConfusedAndInShock]

that will happen with or without them in the picture. word gets around.

 

either way i keep telling myself that "every Dog has its day" and ours is coming.

[SoConfusedAndInShock]

Thanks Mina,

 

music has been my best friend lately and i used to go to the gym and run 5 miles a day but now fro some reason i dont push myself as i used to. UGH this kid broke me down in every way. but i just have to live for the moment i guess.

[SoConfusedAndInShock]

ahh i see that's prob why i feel like i'm about to lose it at the gym. i just wanna find and be myself again

[Floored]

Amen to EVERY SINGLE THING you just said!!

You just took that right out of my mouth.

Who knows maybe one day we'll read their stories on LS and laugh....i would cuz there's NOT a thing i didn't do for that half boy half sissy. yes you're not a man if you're influenced by "friends" and family and can't think for yourself plus right after the BU they go running into a new relationship for "comfort" thinking its love...yea comfort and love my ass.

 

as much as i want a second chance with him right now, i want him to suffer every bit of my pain or twice as much THEN come back Lord willing i cannot wait for that day to come.

 

I wonder sometimes about that, if there are other people I know on LS that I just wouldn't have the knowledge of because I'm so green. At the same time, it's why this SN is different than my usual alias, to avoid my clout following me from here.

 

My personal fantasy now is her ringing me up and me saying "Who is this?" and really having completely forgotten everything associated with her. Ah, glorious. Every day I can feel the urge to reconcile and repair that once beautiful thing diminish just a little bit more, and I welcome the relief of moving on now.

 

Breakups stemming from different levels of emotional maturity and availability seems to be the common theme here.. One party is ready to settle down, the other one thinks s/he's settled and just wants to party. We'll have to have reunions of the 'Broken Hearts of Summer 2012' or something. I'll bring the cake and kleenexes. I'm sure KatZee would love to organize the bonfire. Who wants shirt detail?

[SoConfusedAndInShock]

We'll have to have reunions of the 'Broken Hearts of Summer 2012' or something. I'll bring the cake and kleenexes. I'm sure KatZee would love to organize the bonfire. Who wants shirt detail?

 

hahahahahaha ohh myyy....that's sounds like a plan. :bunny:

YOU, KAT, AND MYSELF its a deal. Her and i already talked about the cartwheel we're gonna do all over LS.

i'll bring fireworks so our ex's can watch from wherever they maybe (sad, in tears, and ALONE)

[KatZee]

hahahahahaha ohh myyy....that's sounds like a plan. :bunny:

YOU, KAT, AND MYSELF its a deal. Her and i already talked about the cartwheel we're gonna do all over LS.

i'll bring fireworks so our ex's can watch from wherever they maybe (sad, in tears, and ALONE)

 

Count me IN! hahahahaha

[SoConfusedAndInShock]

And what is the probability that 50% of the people will at some point breakdown during this. Misery loves company and spreads like the plague

 

ohh yeah you've got a very good point Mina

[steveblack]

And what is the probability that 50% of the people will at some point breakdown during this. Misery loves company and spreads like the plague

 

I would think we would all hookup...

[SoConfusedAndInShock]

I would think we would all hookup...

 

 

i smell some love fest....

[lovejoy41]

OMG Confused and Shocked I am soooo with you on this! Im in this phase too but still cry at times and talking to myself... well I do that a lot too! You are not alone on that one trust me! I hadnt seen my ex of 5 yrs in a month, NC for 1 week and he txtd me yesterday..."what's up?". im like really dude? That's all you say??? I didnt bother to respond back to that crap and he has a girl living with him who just met his parents in June so.... why are you textn me? Ugh! Like you said... I feel for him when this chick sucks his pockets dry and moves onto the next man. He seemed to love her a lot more than me or so she thinks. He admits that she knows about the women he sees. can you say.... LOW SELF ESTEEM CHICK HA! Karma is a b**** & believe that the b**** is coming with a vengeance! It's their loss! Keep on being strong, you're inspiration for women like me.

Edited August 4, 2012 by lovejoy41

[lovejoy41]

Oh and also I was in the gym like mad too when I was dating this fool but now... I have no motivation to go. i'm working on that though cause I will not let this fool take away the healthy choices that I've made for my life. I'm getting back in there soon, don't worry you will too.

[Floored]

Something that's helped me stay working out is to make a new goal for myself to focus on. She did her first half marathon this year and didn't want to sign me up (the window to sign up is like half a day, and I was working) so I missed out on it; it would have been my first as well. I was let down at the time and sad I wasn't running it with her on the day, but in hindsight it was just another chunk of the puzzle that she had no interest in forming memories together anymore.. anyway, so I've started training for my own half, and my goal initially was to whip the snot out of her time. Now that it's been a few weeks, it's become more for me than revenge, but it was a good starting point to get on target.

 

And loveshack lovefest? Is there a date to save yet? What a thread this has been.

[KatZee]

I would think we would all hookup...

 

lmao, I agree with this before the misery and breaking down part! No one's allowed to come if you're miserable. What a party that would be... womp womp...