macy Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I'm seeking advice from those who have had their D's finalized. In my state there is a 1 year separation before a D is granted. That year is up. We never had an official sa drawn up. We have kept our accounts together for the sake of bills and such. We have agreed to all things like child support, custody, visitation, alimony, house, bills, etc. We have basically written it all down and are ready for either his or my attorney to draw it up. He meets with his attorney next week and he'll have him draw it up, or if his goes out of town (possible) we agreed mine will draw it up. We would like to save on attorney costs. With that said I'm gathering it would be highly advisable to have mine review it before I sign, correct? I don't think there is anything to hide per say or that he'll be sneaky but it's probably wise, huh? The SA then becomes the divorce decree.
g450 Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I dont know if your D is amicable but mine was. So we actually had the same lawyer. This saved us a ton of money. All in all with court cost etc it came to around #1k. This only works if you both absolutely agree with everything beforehand. Our own lawyer told us that the first time we start to argue about anything he would kick us both out of his office and we would have to get separate attourneys.
Author macy Posted August 3, 2012 Author Posted August 3, 2012 Yes it's pretty amicable. I mean he had multiple a's but I had to move through that for my kids sake. We get along fairly well and he was fair about things. We have settled everything upfront. I think I'll try what you did and if I have doubts and confusion I'll seek my own attorney. Scary road. Thanks for your input. I appreciate it.
carhill Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 In Cali, our court essentially rubber-stamped what we agreed to in the MSA (marital settlement agreement). There's a six month cooling off period after filing before the final judgment can be entered. About the only thing I could see the court balking on is if child support/custody/visitation was out of conformance with proscribed guidelines. Everything else is fair game and IME they really don't care. We did mediation, the mediator prepared the MSA, we reviewed it and filed it. 'Marriage ends on xxx' came down the next day, as we had waived court and agreed to judgment by mail. Done and done. Since you have children (we did not), it's prudent to make sure everything is in proper legal form and reflects the perspective of the parties. My exW made a few filing mistakes along the way which lengthened our process, but it was merely annoying and didn't affect the final outcome. With children, I'd have been more proactive about doing things right the first time, for them. Good luck and my sympathies. It does get better. I'm out around two years now and it's a distant memory except when I review my balance sheet, but I can live with that.
Author macy Posted August 3, 2012 Author Posted August 3, 2012 That is my concern. Making sure things are spelled out for the kids. Lawyers will bleed you dry if you let them ;-). No offense to any lawyers out there. Divorce is so painful and all these issues to settle can leave you feeling spent. I'm dealing pretty well as the separation was a long one. You are right things do get better with time. You learn to pick up the pieces and move forward. What else can you do?!
Recommended Posts