Janesays Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I hope I don't have to explain negging to anyone on this site, but a lot of PUA's swear by it. It's supposed to come off as funny, but I generally think it was super obvious when I was dating and it happened to me. Here's how I would respond: I'd immediately look down at my hands and say in my quietest, saddest voice, "That really hurt my feelings." One of 2 things would happen at that point: They'd either keep going with the scripts in their head hoping that just the 'right' insult/half compliment combo would make me laugh......or they'd fall all over themselves apologizing and insisting it was a joke. No matter what they did, I'd say (Still starting sadly at my hands), "I'd like you to take me home now, please." I never spoke to any of them ever again, but I like to hope that they went home feeling like gigantic A-holes! So how do YOU typically react when you get 'negged?' 6
Bob_Funk Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 (edited) That's really cold. Pickup artistry IS a joke, but that doesn't mean you should mock guys who practice it. They're just trying to get their basic needs met. And while you probably find the though vomit-inducing, regular guys have the same needs as the Channing Tatums of the world. Edited August 3, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Language
Imajerk17 Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I'm not female, but I did make the mistake of "negging" a girl on a date back in 2004, way back when it was cool. I teased her on her political beliefs and she broke down and started crying! I actually felt really bad, and apologized and convinced her to continue the date. We were both stuck in each other's Friend Zone though. Over dinner we both discussed the other people we were dating and asked each other for advice. Next time a guy neggs you, you can tell him that was so 2005 (which it was, people moved on soon after that). Or that Mystery called, he wants his game back. 7
udolipixie Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I insult until he either walks away frustrated, blows up at me, cries, or gets awkward and profusely apologizes saying it was just a joke. Either way the end result is the same those around laugh at the guy making snide remarks while he walks away as it seems many get what negging/PUA is and feel my insults were justified.
verhrzn Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I've never been "negged" so far as I can tell (a back-handed compliment) but I have been outright insulted a lot, and my response is always to get out of there as quickly as possible. If it's an acquaintance, they usually try to insist that they were kidding, but I avoid them from there on out. I'd guess that my response to someone "negging" me would be me staring at them incomprehensibly for several minutes, and then make a really horribly offensive joke about them being into men ("So I hear it doesn't count as gay if you come on the back of the balls, is that true?") Not because being gay is bad, but because I've noticed it makes PUA-wanna be's freak the heck out. 4
jobaba Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 (edited) I hope I don't have to explain negging to anyone on this site, but a lot of PUA's swear by it. It's supposed to come off as funny, but I generally think it was super obvious when I was dating and it happened to me. Here's how I would respond: I'd immediately look down at my hands and say in my quietest, saddest voice, "That really hurt my feelings." One of 2 things would happen at that point: They'd either keep going with the scripts in their head hoping that just the 'right' insult/half compliment combo would make me laugh......or they'd fall all over themselves apologizing and insisting it was a joke. No matter what they did, I'd say (Still starting sadly at my hands), "I'd like you to take me home now, please." I never spoke to any of them ever again, but I like to hope that they went home feeling like gigantic A-holes! So how do YOU typically react when you get 'negged?' That's really cold. Pickup artistry IS a joke, but that doesn't mean you should mock guys who practice it. They're just trying to get their basic needs met. And while you probably find the though vomit-inducing, regular guys have the same needs as the Channing Tatums of the world. QUOTE] Reading these two posts back to back made me laugh out loud (and I'm in a library)! Edited August 3, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Edited quote 4
verhrzn Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I doubt even the most desperate PUA wannabe would bother with an ( by your own admission ) unattractive woman. Hurray I'm safe!! Sweet, I've been complying a "Positives About Being Ugly" list, and I shall throw this one right at the top. ... Too bad, though, the "back of the balls" comment is room-silencing bad. Y'all are welcome to borrow it. 2
ThaWholigan Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 People still neg? Mystery Method = dated, flawed, and only works for Mystery. 4
utterer of lies Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I've never been "negged" so far as I can tell (a back-handed compliment) but I have been outright insulted a lot, and my response is always to get out of there as quickly as possible. If it's an acquaintance, they usually try to insist that they were kidding, but I avoid them from there on out. Maybe their intention was to neg you but your complexes didn't allow you to see it as that.
verhrzn Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Maybe their intention was to neg you but your complexes didn't allow you to see it as that. So my complexes protected me from negging?... 1
Author Janesays Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 NO HIJACKING MY THREAD WITH YOUR LOW SELF ESTEEM, V! This is supposed to be a FUN thread! 1
verhrzn Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 NO HIJACKING MY THREAD WITH YOUR LOW SELF ESTEEM, V! This is supposed to be a FUN thread! *Shrugs* Just saying. And pointing out how ridiculous negging IS... since it's supposed to lower a girl's self-esteem to be flattered when you do give her attention. And yet, in the case of "low self-esteem" me, it actually didn't work BECAUSE of my low self-esteem. Long story short: I prove negging is pointless. And I gave you full use of my Balls comment. Tada! 2
kaylan Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 PUA is basically a guide to common sense dating. Its over thinking and mental masturbation a lot of the time, but it does teach some guys some valuable things. Honestly, the whole negging thing is simply jokey flirting....basically having fun ripping on one another. I have the natural habit of ripping on my buddies, and especially on girls Im crushing on. And I def love a girl who can go back and forth with me and show me she has some moxy...show me that shes a little spitfire. Its all in good fun...and the girls who can kid around with me like that are the girls Im more drawn to. They are the girls I can be real with and not have to treat differently because she has a vagina. I like being able to kid around with my gal pals like I do with my bros. Makes for the best times when no one in the group is uptight or different about each other just because one has a penis or vagina. All in all, OP I think youre overthinking it. Its possible some guys arent consciously thinking "let me neg this girl". Some guys are like me and just enjoy busting chops, and appreciate a gal whos got the ability to bust right back. I just enjoy the energy that kind of flirting creates. Its kinda like when youre a kid a you poke the girl you like and pull her hair...or how she may punch you cus she likes you. Now as adults we just rip on the people we enjoy lol 3
ascendotum Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Jane, how did you find out about the nature negging? Did you read pua forums or your savvy gfs told you or you read about in cosmo or it suddenly became really common place when you were out on dates or in bars? I saw some guys use negging back in the 90s. I dont think they had read about it, rather they just picked up on how it seemed to work and told likely each other about it. The times I saw them do it, it surprised me the subtle put down nature seemed to go against the grain, but it worked a treat.
Author Janesays Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 Ehhhh, I'm not buying that 'negging' equals flirting. You can tease someone without insulting them. My boyfriend and I do it all the time. And flirting doesn't necessarily equal 'teasing' in my book, either. When I flirt, my goal is to make the other person feel attractive. When I'm flirted with, I prefer the same. I guess I'd just rather my partner do his best to make me feel good. I know I go to a lot of effort to do the same. 2
proseandpassion Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I don't even realize I am being negged and think said person doesn't like me very much.
proseandpassion Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Once I was sitting at a bar... it was a GAY bar even... and some guy came up, got all scowly, and said in a very stern tone: "You're sitting in my chair." I kinda blushed, apologized, got up and gave him his chair back.... Then he looked at me and smiled slyly and said, "So. You wanna dance?" I was so freakin' confused. 2
kaylan Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Btw...when I said common sense dating, I meant that PUA stuff is basically over analytical representations of common freaking sense when it comes to interacting with people and women. Not to mention a lot of nonsense thats also thrown in. I never thought PUA stuff "worked" on its own merits. It simply taught some dudes some common sense they should have had to begin with. The bad part is a lot of it teaches guys things that are detriments to their dating lives at the same time. 1
Author Janesays Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 Jane, how did you find out about the nature negging? Did you read pua forums or your savvy gfs told you or you read about in cosmo or it suddenly became really common place when you were out on dates or in bars? I used to write for a living and I actually was assigned the subject matter. I tend to go for nerdier guys, so I think I got it more than a lot of other women. It's a shame that so many of them have such low self confidence because brilliant men are HOT. 3
verhrzn Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Btw...when I said common sense dating, I meant that PUA stuff is basically over analytical representations of common freaking sense when it comes to interacting with people and women. Not to mention a lot of nonsense thats also thrown in. I never thought PUA stuff "worked" on its own merits. It simply taught some dudes some common sense they should have had to begin with. The bad part is a lot of it teaches guys things that are detriments to their dating lives at the same time. Interesting about the whole "common sense" thing. Would negging work on guys? If not, why not? What would be the male equivalent of "negging"? I think a lot of women enjoy being teased, but few enough being "negged." 2
ascendotum Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I used to write for a living and I actually was assigned the subject matter. I tend to go for nerdier guys, so I think I got it more than a lot of other women. It's a shame that so many of them have such low self confidence because brilliant men are HOT. Thats good that you do, but its probably a catch 22 for many such men. Nerdy + not confident = not not very appealling for many women to begin with >>>= Nerdy + lower self confidence over time + now looking at techniques to help >>> pua stuff 1
ThaWholigan Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I used to write for a living and I actually was assigned the subject matter. I tend to go for nerdier guys, so I think I got it more than a lot of other women. It's a shame that so many of them have such low self confidence because brilliant men are HOT. Those brilliant men get rejected a lot and don't know how to adequately handle it. That's probably why they need some self-appointed guru to come and tell them how to handle it. You have to learn how to make yourself attractive, and not everyone knows how to do it, so they do sometimes need help. Granted, PUA can be an extreme route to take, but in my personal observations, if one needs help, it's the most adequate resource. Which says a lot about dating help for men . 1
ptp Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Janesays, I love your red hair, those are the best extensions I have ever seen. Where did you get them? 2
Taramere Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I think a lot of women enjoy being teased, but few enough being "negged." Yeah. Teasing is what happens when you have rapport with somebody. They tease you, you tease them back. A neg is more like what happens when somebody lacks the easygoing playfulness to carry teasing off. So it tends to create hostility or awkward silences. 5
DreamerDeceiver Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Male equivalent of negging = busting eachother's balls. I don't "neg" girls... I'd rather make a girl feel comfortable and safe around me, and throw in some twists when she says something I can mess with, no matter it's sexual or not. Kaylan said it best: Some guys are like me and just enjoy busting chops, and appreciate a gal whos got the ability to bust right back. I just enjoy the energy that kind of flirting creates. Its kinda like when youre a kid a you poke the girl you like and pull her hair...or how she may punch you cus she likes you. Now as adults we just rip on the people we enjoy lol Mmm I love girls who can bust right back... shows me they have a sense of humor! Girls have wised up to blatant "negging" over the past few years because of the popularity of Mystery Method... girls are already socially intuitive and can spot forced negging/pickup techniques from a million miles away. If your personality isn't in sync with what you're saying, then it comes across as trying too hard. Nothing is more unattractive to a lady than a guy who's trying too hard to impress, or be something he is not. 4
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