renee.m.o Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I left my ex-husband roughly around three years ago (officially divorced in June of this year). I left him because he was cheating on my constantly and, for obvious reasons, did not want to be a part of that. It has taken me the better part of three years to get back into the dating game due to fears of having my heart broken again. I've recently begun dating a very nice guy who has never given me a reason to not trust him, but I constantly find myself looking for signs of him cheating or lying. I lose my mind when things don't seem right to me. (from getting angry when he leaves the room to make a phone call to getting upset when the seat in his truck isn't in the exact same position I left it in). I do love him and I don't want to constantly keep thinking that he is going to lie to me or going to cheat on me. I just want to be happy and move on from the lies and deceit that my ex-husband put me through, but that is proving to be very difficult. Suggestions?
MCMLXXXIX Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Your doubts could poison the relationship. You should focus on the good things. However you did go through a nasty time being cheated on constantly as you say. I'd still say the odds are in your favor. Not everybody cheats. I don't recommend you do, but if you really can't stop feeling paranoid, perhaps you could tell your current boyfriend that you still bear some scars from your past relationship, but that you feel you can trust him.
Author renee.m.o Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 It already has caused a big problem in our relationship. He is hurt that I would think that he would behave like my ex husband. To be honest, my ex husband was my high school sweetheart and I don't know much else aside from him. I lived with him and his brothers and a lot of their friends and THEY all cheated on their girlfriends too. A lot of my guy friends have cheated. It seems like almost every guy I know has cheated on their significant other at some point or another. Even my current boyfriend cheated on his ex girlfriend. He said it was a huge mistake and he felt guilty and inevitably ended the relationship after coming clean about it. It seems as though people cant remain faithful to each other now-a-days. My momma raised me to respect my relationship and never cheat. I never have and I never would (I would never put someone in the situation I was in). Thank you for your advice. I need some outsider insight to make sure that I am not missing anything about the whole situation.
Author renee.m.o Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 I don't mean to exclude women either. It seems as though a lot of my close girlfriends cheat on their men too. When it's everywhere, its hard to see past it, does that make sense?
MCMLXXXIX Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 What I came to realize is that when you guilt trip someone for no reason, that person might want to just go ahead and cheat in order to test you. I know this is kind of sick, but it's a phenomenon. People nowadays may be excessively unfaithful, but they are also excessively possessive and get involved in each others lives too soon. Try to overcome this and figure out what your boyfriend wants in the long term. If you two focus on common long term objectives, your mind might be less drawn into thinking about short term ambitions such as cheating.
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