chrisusarmy2005 Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Hi everyone my name is Chris and im new to these forums, going through a tought time and to get some insight. Right now im going through a really hard break up, we were together for 4 yrs.Let me start off from the beginning. I met this girl online on a chat room,she was really cool and nice to talk to. She couldn't stand me at first because I have a weird sense of humor and then one of my friends from the chatroom explained to her I wasn't that bad. So we got to talking back and forth and then we exchanged numbers and we would talk until late at night and she would be the first person I texted in the morning. So after awhile I decided to ask her out and she said yes and we continued to talk. We finally then made the step to actually meet each other. She lived in MA and I lived in upstate Ny, we met in person for the first time and we immediately hit it off. She was a big girl and yet I still fell in love with her. We got together in Feb of 2008 and we visited each other plenty of times, I would come to MA to see her and she would come to NY to see me. I then invited her to go see a Rush concert at Saratoga Springs, I was so in love with her I bought her a promise ring, which had her and my birthstones plus I also gave her one of my army dog tags, thats how much she meant to me. So after we were dating for a little bit we decided to move in together, I loved being with her and she made me extremely happy.Because we a little big she decided to get the gastric bypass surgery and I was doing it the other way. I sat with her through every surgery she went through and was by her side. Throughout the year she lost a lot of weight. Towards the end of the year, I felt something was going and it just didnt feel right. I'd let it go and we'd talk about it. But anyway, the beginning of this year something just felt a little off. This year in Feb 2012 we were together 4 yrs and have been through hell and back and it seems as if she totally forgot about me. She was getting more attention from guys and she drifted away more. This was the year everything was supposed to fall in place, I got a new job,my band started taking off and I was starting to look at engagement rings because I wanted to propose to her at the end of the year. The day of the breakup, I had a physical in the morning and then we were going to take the dogs to the park and I knew something was wrong even though everything was going great that day. Then she broke up with me in Mar 12. She basically explained she didn't love me anymore because im a bigger guy and she is now small. She lost interest in me. When we first got together she was pretty big and I fell in love with her anyway, I never went by looks at all, I always looked at the inside of a person. She also said when we first got together that I filled a hole in her heart and now that shes skinny,she dosn't need me anymore which hurts the most. It almost feels as if these past 4 yrs were a waste and sometimes I can't help but think what did I do wrong. Some days are ok,some days just suck. The day we broke up, we just went home and I laid on the couch and just stared at the ceiling, I didn't eat for 2 days. It was just a shock and noone was expecting it. I mean I did everything for her and went through everything with her. Nothing is worse when a girlfriend decides that she just wants to be with friends. 4 yrs is a long time and I even moved states for her. Its just a really big blow. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice or anything. Thank You for reading.
weallfalldown Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 heelo mate. sorry to hear all of this. sounds like your a decent bloke, and you brought her out of herself and gave her confidence. well let's face it, no one will ever love her the way you did, or maybe even treat her the way you did. The bottom line is, as we all know, she aint worth it, i mean how shallow, she didn't love you because your a big guy?............Sounds like she's full of it to me. either way, keep strong my man, i'm in the same boat, but i've caved in and broke contact after 2 months.....please don't go doing that.......
KatZee Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Yuck she sounds disgusting. She sounds like one of those self-hating people... just by how she went and got the surgery (that's fine) but then the second she was at a weight in which she looked desireable she dropped you like a rock. You were there for her through everything and after four years she should be inspiring you to lose weight if you're a big guy, or doing something to be there for YOU the way you were for her. Instead she's pure superficiality right now and that's ugly. She's ugly on the inside, and I'm sure she's no supermodel right now, but if she looks much better than she did, she's going to learn a fast lesson on what it's like to be used by men who are only with women for their bodies. I'm sure once she's used up and discarded by various men she'll try crawling back. Too little too late by that point!
Chi townD Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 What a major bitch! The only thing that I give her credit for is that she admitted that the end that she was just using you. Most would make the break up your fault or something you did. But, still what a major bitch!! You were with her when she wasn't at her prettiest and you loved her for WHO SHE WAS! Not what she looked like. That, my friend, is something that women will find extremely attractive in a guy. Tell me I'm wrong girls! You know what? sooner or later she's going to contact you because the guilt on how cruelly she handled everything is going to eat at her and she's going to want to see if you're okay. Ignore her, she doesn't want to get back with you, she's only looking to ease her own guilt. And how do I know she has some guilt? Let me guess. When she broke up with you she told you that she still wants to be friends with you. Am I right?
Chi townD Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Dude, ignore her. Go complete NC on her. Block her from Facebook, change your number....everything. Because the writing is on the wall. She's going to use other guys to fill the physical need (and the other guys could give a rats ass about anything esle she has to offer) and she will turn to you for her emotional needs. Using you once again! Time to get your revenge! And the best revenge you can have is living life well! A damn good life! Change your hairstyle and buy new clothes. That's going to help your self esteem. Your user name suggests that you were in the Army. Okay, the Army gave you the tools to loose the weight. Your daily sevens or daily nines. Running. Do it. get a memebership to the gym and push weight. This is a good way to work off those frustrations and the stress. PLUS getting more of a rocked bod than when you were in the Army. Go back to school! That post 9/11 GI Bill is sweet! Take advange of that! Get your degree and get yourself that fine ass job that's gonna pay you a hellva lot of money. Reconnect with old friends, let them see the new you! Get a new hobby, join a cycling club, or mens soccer league, or hiking club. And travel!!! Go on a trip that you've always wanted to go on and just go!!! Have an adventure!!! This bitch is going to miss out on a good thing. So, get your ass motivated and start your new life!
Author chrisusarmy2005 Posted August 3, 2012 Author Posted August 3, 2012 I know its all for the better,but its just hard. Its hard to see her and go out with other guys as odd as it sounds.Yet she still tells me she loves me,shes just not that into me anymore. We used to have back to the future nights and now shes doing it with other guys,I can't help but feel a little jealous. Still want to beat the crap out of the guy that caused all this. Its almost as if she isn worth it but she isnt worth it. Good thing though right after the break up I stopped playing music, im a drummer so I recently got back into it. I still rock the high and tight hair cut and im starting to train to do a 5k. Theres going to come a day when she wants me back and I don't know if ill be able to actually take her back because how would I know that she won't pull this all over again. I know there will come a time when she realizes what she has done and she will regret it. I know im a great guy and I have a big heart and noone can beat that. I also agree with weallfalldown, noone will ever love her as much as I did and treat her as well as I did. In a way I hope she learns that the hard way. I know eventually I will find someone worth my time and effort. But she will learn the hard way.
Telaroca Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 She just used you.but she will regret what she did to you..it's hard to find someone who will support and stick to you no matter what and that will bite her in the ass one day...
KMC1990 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 What she did to you was 100% wrong. You were there for her through the hardest times in her life, and supportive of her, and it's not as if you pushed her to get the surgery because you didn't like her being overweight: you accepted her for who she was! She clearly has gone through some sort of shift where she sees herself as being better than you because of her weight loss. Sad but true fact is that she will realize what she has lost too late when no one treats her as well as you did. You need to move on from her, instead of getting upset, get angry and realize what she did was totally selfish, shallow and just plain mean. You can definitely find someone better!
Chi townD Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 And if you are still talking to her (which I know you are or why else would you know so much) YOU NEED TO STOP!!!! I know she's still a Facebook friend! Delete and block her!!! Look, she made a choice to have you out of her life. She said she didn't want you, that you were just someone to waste time with until her weight came of and someone she thought better came around! If she doesn't want you then fine! She gets nothing from you. She either got 100% of you or nothing at all. I'm sure that you didn't get into a loving and caring relationship with her for the end result being to take a step back and being nothing more than a "friend". You deserve more than that. Like I said, it's time to get your revenge. It's time to heal and move on. Stop contacting her.
Author chrisusarmy2005 Posted August 5, 2012 Author Posted August 5, 2012 Unfortunately I still live with my ex and don't really have anywhere else at the moment but I went out to Boston and came home and Imet the new guy she likes trying to keep myself from punching him and we mad an agreement that we wouldn't bring each others partner home I'm friggin pissed still living in the same place with her don't have the money to get out at the moment please calm my ass down. It hurts and it sucks I miss her its amazing how women move on faster theb guys we take breakups hard and it sucks.
tryingtofindmyway24 Posted August 5, 2012 Posted August 5, 2012 Hi Chris, Your situation sounds very similar to mines as far as still living with the ex. This sucks when you're broken up because its so awkward being in the house together. I know the feeling I wasn't with my ex that long its been a little over 1.5yrs and we broke up almost two weeks ago. My posts are on here in great detail of my story. I just want you to know that you need to be strong and whatever happens, happens we can't force people to love or be with us so let her go since that what she wants. Its her lost:)
Author chrisusarmy2005 Posted August 6, 2012 Author Posted August 6, 2012 I miss the fact of having someone there to talk to. Noone really comes as close as your girlfriend. She knows everything about me. Im still trying to get over her but it seems to me as if its taking too long. She still means everything to me. I don't even know how to communicate to her how I feel anymore. Its one of the worst feelings in the world. Its crazy how your whole world could come crashing down in a second. She still asks me for advice and stuff about new guys and I suck it up and tell her my thoughts. The past 4 mos have been hell. I still have her pictures and the dogtag that I gave her and I also took back my claddaugh ring and promise ring I bought her. I unsubscribed to her on facebook to. Im glad shes out there but it kills me to see her with other guys, and I think WTF does this guy have that I don't. Im considering moving back home but then I have to start from square 1,look for a job,look for a place to live. I've been on my own so long and it sucks to start at the beginning. I know I can do better but I still love her and I really hope someone hurts her the way she hurt me.Like I was saying before, I came home from Boston and I found the guy there,apparently he came up from the bar to see her. I wish there was a way to work things out. She is worth it by all means but still.:lmao:
Chi townD Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I came home from Boston and I found the guy there,apparently he came up from the bar to see her. I wish there was a way to work things out. She is worth it by all means but still.:lmao: So much for promising to keep new guys away from the apartment! Dude, you need to get out of there, like yesterday. Talk to your folks, see if they can lend you some cash for a down payment on your own place. She has so much disrespect for you it's unbelievable. What the hell did she do when you walked in and saw the other dude there? Bet she didn't give a rats ass.
Author chrisusarmy2005 Posted August 6, 2012 Author Posted August 6, 2012 She cared a little bit because as soon as I got there she had him leave. Im still pissed,but still that is very disrespectful. I know I need to move out the crappiest thing is my parents are in PA so it makes it hard. I still love her. I am hoping we get back together but ill let her do her thing maybe she comes back maybe she dosn't. Shes going to learn the hard way which is good because as ive been saying noone will treat her as good as I have,Hell I moved to MA for her if that dosn't say something i dont know what does.
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