Msgarcia000 Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Hello all! I'm new here, female, 23, work and go to school and I'm hispanic. :-) I find myself without any friends. Amazing but true. All of my life I have been moving from place to place and the friends that I do make, I have to leave them behind. Anyways, now I'm trying to be more social but I can't. When I do try I am the one initiating contact but they either never have time to have dinner, or anything. Sometimes I get a reply message hours and hours after and I hate that. I give up on these "people Im trying to get to know". I don't know what to do, is taking a toll on me. I get more depressed as time passed by because I cannot understand why people see me as weird. Am I that bad? urgh lol
january2011 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Google "Meetup" - depending on your location, there may be dinner groups, foodie groups, cinema groups, sports groups, travel groups, etc. If you're travelling a lot, it's not a surprise that you're finding it difficult to make deep friendships. But there's no reason why you can't still have a great social life and have fun meeting all kinds of people. Alternatively, volunteer when you have time. Attend local community events. Take a few one-off night classes. Until you settle down in one place for a significant amount of time, it's going to be hard to make any lasting friendships. 2
NoMagicBullet Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 What january said. Although if you e-mail or do Facebook or some other social networking, you can still stay in touch with people who are geogrphically far away. But it's not the same as being able to go out and do something. I highly recommend Meetup. There are all kinds of interesting things going on, and you can easily meet people who share your interests. But I noticed something in your post: When I do try I am the one initiating contact but they either never have time to have dinner, or anything. Sometimes I get a reply message hours and hours after and I hate that. People already have work, family, friends, and who knows what else going on. It's not reasonable to expect people you don't know well yet to drop everything to respond immediately, nor to accept a same-day invitation to do something. (I assume that's whats going on, from your post.) Friendships take time to develop. Try planning things farther out, say, at least a week away. Two weeks notice may be better for some people, depending on their obligations. If you've given them multiple opportunities with ample time to plan, and they don't take you up your offers to do things... well, that sucks. Been there, done that. It's just a matter of moving on and meeting new people. Good luck, Msgarcia!
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