TG1 Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 (edited) If anything whenever I come over to her house and I feel like kissing her, she always pulls away from me or even if I want to hold her close to me or hold her in my arms from behind holding her by her waist, she fears that I'm going to hurt her or something, or is it just me? Because I just want to show her how affectionate I can be and she knows that I love her and I know that she loves me, but am I doing something wrong? I need a FEMALE PERSPECTIVE HERE!!!!!! So I come out with it and ask her that if the reason why she isn't affectionate with me is because she is being affectionate with someone else and that is why she doesn't want to come near me but she tries to assure me that that isn't the case at all, like I feel like sometimes that she doesn't love me as much as I love her but that I just want to show her just how much I love her, but I feel like sometimes she doesn't trust me or whatever We haven't even had sex yet, so I wonder what the problem is, and I feel like kissing her, but maybe she just isn't the kissing type, I don't know, I guess I am grasping at straws here Edited August 2, 2012 by TG1
proseandpassion Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Maybe she just doesn't like being touched. Or.... do you have bad breath? Serious question.
stillafool Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Did she say why she isn't as affectionate? Have things improved since you told her about it? Most women, including me, like when a man is affectionate.
Emilia Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 We haven't even had sex yet, so I wonder what the problem is, and I feel like kissing her, but maybe she just isn't the kissing type, I don't know, I guess I am grasping at straws here How long have you been dating? Maybe she is nervous?
Author TG1 Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 How long have you been dating? Maybe she is nervous? We've been dating for about a year and a half, almost 2 years, and no I don't have bad breath, and I feel like she is nervous, scared that I'm going to leave her or something right after we should have sex and that's not the case Yes I have sexual frustrations, I am not going to deny that, I do, that's why sometimes I feel like if I am even enough for my girlfriend and sometimes it makes me feel like I should cheat especially if I am not getting any from her at all
Emilia Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Well not many people would stay with their other half without sex. I don't think I would although I wouldn't cheat. Is it worth your while staying with her? You are not getting love and affection and bonding
Author TG1 Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 Well not many people would stay with their other half without sex. I don't think I would although I wouldn't cheat. Is it worth your while staying with her? You are not getting love and affection and bonding I do get love and affection but in other ways, she tells me that she loves me regularly and I tell her that I love her and I tell her how important she is to me but still it would help if I could feel that love in the ways that I was mentioning before
proseandpassion Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Nobody hesitates to kiss someone after a few years of dating because they're nervous, FYI.
Emilia Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I do get love and affection but in other ways, she tells me that she loves me regularly and I tell her that I love her and I tell her how important she is to me but still it would help if I could feel that love in the ways that I was mentioning before Most of us need physical expression of love: sex and physical affection. Words are not enough. Not everyone is this way but many of us are. Perhaps your girlfriend can't give you what you need. You have to think about this.
proseandpassion Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Sounds to me like you're about to get dumped.
Author TG1 Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 Most of us need physical expression of love: sex and physical affection. Words are not enough. Not everyone is this way but many of us are. Perhaps your girlfriend can't give you what you need. You have to think about this. Yes I do but she tells me that she's scared that I would leave her because of something and there isn't anything she could do that would make me want to leave but yes physical affection at least with me I feel is key and I have always yearned for it, so should I cheat on her to make that happen
Emilia Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Yes I do but she tells me that she's scared that I would leave her because of something and there isn't anything she could do that would make me want to leave but yes physical affection at least with me I feel is key and I have always yearned for it, so should I cheat on her to make that happen What? What happened to your moral highground stuff in the other thread about never cheating? Has she been right about you all along??? If two people want fundamentally different things, they part ways. This is the mature way. They don't hurt and manipulate the other person to force them to do what they want 2
Author TG1 Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 What? What happened to your moral highground stuff in the other thread about never cheating? Has she been right about you all along??? If two people want fundamentally different things, they part ways. This is the mature way. They don't hurt and manipulate the other person to force them to do what they want I feel conflicted about cheating in terms of actually wanting to go through with it and following through on it, I never said that I was going to do it but I said I was thinking about it, that is how torn I am about the situation
Emilia Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I feel conflicted about cheating in terms of actually wanting to go through with it and following through on it, I never said that I was going to do it but I said I was thinking about it, that is how torn I am about the situation You are not thinking clearly. If you are not getting what you need from this girl and after talking to her doesn't make any difference (have you spoken to her yet ?) there is a possibility that the two of you don't have a future. We all have to learn to deal with this. In a measured and thoughtful way
Author TG1 Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 Yes I will admit sex is on my mind like 24/7, but that's because I'm a guy, that's just the way we're programmed
AwptiK Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I don't think cheating should ever be an option.. Like Emilia is trying to say, it comes down to working things out with her directly or mutually moving on to someone who better suits you. I'd say talk to her. After a relationship that long, you should be open enough to discuss how you feel, how she feels, and the topic of sex too. I know you said you have talked to her, but saying, "Are you being affectionate with someone else" isn't how i'd have started the conversation.
Emilia Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Yes I will admit sex is on my mind like 24/7, but that's because I'm a guy, that's just the way we're programmed No, don't you ever allow anyone to make you feel it's a gender thing. It is a very normal, human reaction to be loved and desired and many many girls feel this way too. Have you spoken to your girlfriend about this yet?
Author TG1 Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 No, don't you ever allow anyone to make you feel it's a gender thing. It is a very normal, human reaction to be loved and desired and many many girls feel this way too. Have you spoken to your girlfriend about this yet? I tried and I feel like I want to, but I feel like she wouldn't even listen to me or she would just brush it off
Emilia Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I tried and I feel like I want to, but I feel like she wouldn't even listen to me or she would just brush it off Try again but properly this time. Sit her down and tell her how important this is to you because you need her love and you want to show her your love too. See what she says to that.
Leopard Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 You're either moving too fast, or she isn't that into you. My boyfriend is the same. "Are you seeing someone else?" It has nothing to do with that. Sometimes I just don't want him to touch me, or leave me alone. She's just not that into you OR you are moving too fast. I have had men get all "married couple" on me within a week, MAJOR turn off and big disappointment because they were otherwise really great guys.
Author TG1 Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 Try again but properly this time. Sit her down and tell her how important this is to you because you need her love and you want to show her your love too. See what she says to that. You're right, I will definitely do that, thank you 1
Emilia Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 You're right, I will definitely do that, thank you Good boy and good luck. Keep us posted
stillafool Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Yes I do but she tells me that she's scared that I would leave her because of something and there isn't anything she could do that would make me want to leave but yes physical affection at least with me I feel is key and I have always yearned for it, so should I cheat on her to make that happen You should tell her that the only thing that will make you leave her is a lack of physical affection. Something is off here and I feel for you.
veggirl Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 You have made quite a few threads about this girl. She is very clearly not into you. That's why she is not affectionate. That's why she ignores you when you call. Just break up with her. Isn't she 20? She wants to be single. Let her be. Dump her before she dumps you! 1
kaylan Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 (edited) Shes weird...and not into you. Dump her. Simple. EDIT: Read OPs other replies...seems your gf pegged you right and doesnt trust you...and its hard to be close to someone you dont trust. How could you ever consider cheating to manipulate her? Whats wrong with you? Like the other said, just talk to her. I agree that something is up and its possible shes already checked out of the relationship. Edited August 3, 2012 by kaylan
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