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Do you have back-up options?

Eternal Sunshine

By Eternal Sunshine
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DreamerDeceiver Member

DreamerDeceiver

Posted
Posted (edited)
Lucky are the blokes who end up with these types of women!

 

And why are they so lucky? They're stuck in the Friend Zone and they can't get out - thinking they still have a chance. When a girl I was dating tried to turn me into a backup option I dumped her. Last time she saw me she was totally mad at me for not falling for this kind of crap and chasing her like a lost kitty. I know I'm that good and you'd have to be crazy, or just an attention whore to pass up on me. I play second fiddle to no man if I go that far with a girl. These other "men" are just kidding themselves.

Edited by DreamerDeceiver
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miss_jaclynrae Established Member

miss_jaclynrae

Posted
Posted

Just because I appreciate a good cuddle every once in a while, in no way means I can't function being alone. :rolleyes:

snug.bunny Established Member

snug.bunny

Posted
Posted
What's wrong with being single for a little while and just going out and having fun with your friends?

 

Not sure. I LOVED LOVED LOVED it, one of the best times of my life. :)

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brahmabull117 Established Member

brahmabull117

Posted
Posted
And why are they so lucky? They're stuck in the Friend Zone and they can't get out - thinking they still have a chance. When a girl I was dating tried to turn me into a backup option I dumped her. Last time she saw me she was totally mad at me for not falling for this kind of crap and chasing her like a lost kitty. I know I'm that good and you'd have to be crazy, or just an attention whore to pass up on me. I play second fiddle to no man if I go that far with a girl. These other "men" are just kidding themselves.

 

 

 

Friend's zone = vomit

 

 

These men should be castrated as their testicles are clearly worthless

Kofybean Established Member

Kofybean

Posted
Posted
I don't see a problem. When I am in a relationship, I am 100% committed and loyal. All back-up options are gone. This is only for when I am single and can't meet anyone that's a relationship material.

 

I don't believe for a second this is true. You are suggesting again relationship worthy men don't exist.

 

a. Its more likely that good men don't find you relationship material, which is why you are in this situation.

 

b. old habits are hard to break, and no guy with half a brain will believe you are going to stop having "backup" options because you are self justifying.

Kofybean Established Member

Kofybean

Posted
Posted
She needs external validation. It is that simple.

 

No. She's delusional.

 

You ever met a guy who bragged about how he used to play football in high school, and says he could have gone pro if he wanted to... but couldn't get into college because of how awesome he says he is?

 

That's her.

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Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

Posted
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Posted
I don't believe for a second this is true. You are suggesting again relationship worthy men don't exist.

 

a. Its more likely that good men don't find you relationship material, which is why you are in this situation.

 

b. old habits are hard to break, and no guy with half a brain will believe you are going to stop having "backup" options because you are self justifying.

 

Sorry but you are wrong. I truly haven't met anyone in a very long time with whom I wanted to have a relationship with. Option a) would only be true if I met such a guy and he rejected me. That didn't happen. I am open enough about my weaknesses on this forum and would have no problem admitting it if it did happen.

 

b) is also untrue. When I was in a serious relationship, I ceased all contact with other men...except for mutual male friends. I didn't even miss them one bit. They were always just a pure substitute.

StrangeBehaviors Established Member

StrangeBehaviors

Posted
Posted

Pierre's opinion seems pretty close to being right on.

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filani Established Member

filani

Posted
Posted
Sorry but you are wrong. I truly haven't met anyone in a very long time with whom I wanted to have a relationship with. Option a) would only be true if I met such a guy and he rejected me. That didn't happen. I am open enough about my weaknesses on this forum and would have no problem admitting it if it did happen.

 

b) is also untrue. When I was in a serious relationship, I ceased all contact with other men...except for mutual male friends. I didn't even miss them one bit. They were always just a pure substitute.

 

@ eternal sunshine

 

'They (the back up guys) were always just a pure substitute'

 

WTF !!! Somebody please pass the vomit bag !

Hey ES , do you have any idea what that statement makes you look like? You're proving brahmabull, piere and others right

RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

Posted
Posted

I'm rather appalled by people who would call anyone (same sex or opposite sex) as a 'backup plan'.

 

I've ended friendships with women (much less men) who tried to use me as a 'backup plan' when they weren't dating. You know... the ones that disappear off the face of the map whenever they meet a new guy... it is damned near impossible to get a return phone call during those periods... much less a get together.

 

But, holy cow, they sure do expect me to be 'on call' whenever some little crisis arises.

 

Frenemies come in all packages... same sex or opposite sex.

 

If I or they are not true friends when either of us are dating or in a relationship... they aren't true friends when we're not. Doesn't matter the gender IMHO.

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Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

Posted
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Posted
@ eternal sunshine

 

'They (the back up guys) were always just a pure substitute'

 

WTF !!! Somebody please pass the vomit bag !

Hey ES , do you have any idea what that statement makes you look like? You're proving brahmabull, piere and others right

 

OMG! You are not getting it.

 

Back-up option = poor substitute... similar meaning, different wording. I don't see why one is any better/worse than the other?

 

And I am their back-option as well! They are not exactly in love with me or looking for a relationship with me. We just mutually "use" each other to take the edge of loneliness. They were never mislead in any way.

 

I don't call them friends either. I call them guys I am casually seeing.

 

I do have male friends as well, but the difference there is that the physical line is never crossed. There is no cuddling/making out.

veggirl Established Member

veggirl

Posted
Posted
OMG! You are not getting it.

 

Back-up option = poor substitute... similar meaning, different wording. I don't see why one is any better/worse than the other?

 

And I am their back-option as well! They are not exactly in love with me or looking for a relationship with me. We just mutually "use" each other to take the edge of loneliness. They were never mislead in any way.

 

I don't call them friends either. I call them guys I am casually seeing.

 

I do have male friends as well, but the difference there is that the physical line is never crossed. There is no cuddling/making out.

 

So you guys have actually discussed this? You and the guy?

 

IDK I've never met a guy in my entire life who wanted to just come over and cuddle with me. Cuddle while trying to stick his hand down my pants sure, but just cuddle no freaking way.

 

I guess I have never been so lonely to want that either though.

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Radu Established Member

Radu

Posted
Posted

Nope none.

 

I'm actually afraid to explore this option of dating for the sake of dating.

At my age [29] i might end up spending a few yrs 'trying to find myself' because i will go half-assed in a relationship knowing i have backups.

 

It's better long run to go 'full in'.

morichu Established Member

morichu

Posted
Posted
OMG! You are not getting it.

 

Back-up option = poor substitute... similar meaning, different wording. I don't see why one is any better/worse than the other?

 

And I am their back-option as well! They are not exactly in love with me or looking for a relationship with me. We just mutually "use" each other to take the edge of loneliness. They were never mislead in any way.

 

I don't call them friends either. I call them guys I am casually seeing.

 

I do have male friends as well, but the difference there is that the physical line is never crossed. There is no cuddling/making out.

 

So you and your 'back-up plans' just admit to both using each other?

 

wow

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