miss_jaclynrae Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 You don't sound like a whore, you just sound very young and attention-starved. I really really doubt you and your male "friends" that kiss and cuddle you are on the same page. I'd bet they want more. ... Or you have NO idea what you are talking about and they enjoy the company as much as I do.
brahmabull117 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 ... Or you have NO idea what you are talking about and they enjoy the company as much as I do. You think guys are okay with making out with you but not getting sex? Unless they're borderline asexual, there is zero chance of that. These are guys who would probably kill to have sex with you but you just keep teasing them because you love the attention Veggirl is 100% right with everything she said. This is why I laugh when people say that women mature faster than men 2
USMCHokie Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 This is why I laugh when people say that women mature faster than men I would argue that the Dunning-Kruger Effect applies to "maturity" as well.
brahmabull117 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 I would argue that the Dunning-Kruger Effect applies to "maturity" as well. I looked up the term but I'm not sure what you're implying in that context Care to elaborate?
USMCHokie Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 I looked up the term but I'm not sure what you're implying in that context Care to elaborate? The hypothesis, in part, states that an incompetent person will mistakenly overestimate his abilities because of an cognitive inability to perceive true skill in that ability. When applied to maturity, an immature person will overestimate his maturity because he inherently fails to recognize how immature he actual is. 1
miss_jaclynrae Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 You think guys are okay with making out with you but not getting sex? Unless they're borderline asexual, there is zero chance of that. These are guys who would probably kill to have sex with you but you just keep teasing them because you love the attention Veggirl is 100% right with everything she said. This is why I laugh when people say that women mature faster than men It isn't always making out... ever heard of just having company when lonely? Sure, they probably want sex, but it isn't like my backup is someone who I used once and then left high and dry. We are friends, we keep in touch, he is single and dating as well, and we get together every few months or so. He keeps coming back and we grab coffee every now and then.... so I am pretty sure he is ok with it.
brahmabull117 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 It isn't always making out... ever heard of just having company when lonely? Sure, they probably want sex, but it isn't like my backup is someone who I used once and then left high and dry. We are friends, we keep in touch, he is single and dating as well, and we get together every few months or so. He keeps coming back and we grab coffee every now and then.... so I am pretty sure he is ok with it. Welcome to planet Earth. I'm not sure how it is in Neptune but on Planet Earth, men are NEVER okay with just kissing and cuddling with a girl without any sex or anything more He probably keeps coming back to you because he hopes you will let him go all the way one day (although this is clearly a lost cause). This is how men think, just being honest here if you want friends, stop getting sexual with these guys. Truth be told, you're a very attractive young girl and every guy you're going to befriend will want to bang you. You're better off just being friends with girls 1
miss_jaclynrae Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Welcome to planet Earth. I'm not sure how it is in Neptune but on Planet Earth, men are NEVER okay with just kissing and cuddling with a girl without any sex or anything more He probably keeps coming back to you because he hopes you will let him go all the way one day (although this is clearly a lost cause). This is how men think, just being honest here if you want friends, stop getting sexual with these guys. Truth be told, you're a very attractive young girl and every guy you're going to befriend will want to bang you. You're better off just being friends with girls The fact that you think It is impossible to be friends with men because I am an attractive woman is wrong... It makes me sad that you think that. Who cares if they want to bang me? He knows I won't. We really are just good friends who kiss and cuddle and go out. We enjoy the company and are both on the same page.
DreamerDeceiver Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Who cares if they want to bang me? He knows I won't. We really are just good friends who kiss and cuddle and go out. We enjoy the company and are both on the same page. That's what they may tell you they want; but they are only kidding themselves. Like I said earlier, "friends" don't have passionate make-out sessions. Any real man knows this. Guys will always want more, they are just sticking around to see if you'll give it up. If they say any different they are lying and no wonder you won't sleep with them, they're wusses. 1
brahmabull117 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 The fact that you think It is impossible to be friends with men because I am an attractive woman is wrong... It makes me sad that you think that. I know male psychology better than you do. I've had dozens of male friends over the years and talked about these issues many many times. I hear the real truth, not these guys telling you what you want to hear Yes it is impossible for you to be real friends with men because you are attractive. 99% of guys will want to bang you so how is that a real friendship? Friends don't want to bang each other. These friendships are an exercise in frustration for these men because they'll keep being nice to you and keep treating you like a queen in hopes of one day that you'll open up your legs and fall in love with them. Basically it's just a way for you to get what you want (which is attention/validation) without giving them what they want (sex/dating). it's just very selfish in my view. You can't be real "regular" friends with somebody who wants to bang you Who cares if they want to bang me? He knows I won't. He knows that but I bet he'll keep doing that in hopes that you'll one day change your mind Also, who cares if they want to bang you? You don't care about what your FRIENDS want? Sounds like you don't know much about being a good friend if you don't care about how they feel We enjoy the company and are both on the same page. He tells you that because that's what you want to hear. Men are sexual creatures, I can't imagine how any guy would be okay with kissing and cuddling but not having sex. Poor guy is going home with blue balls every time, that's just terrible 20 bucks says that everytime you "kiss and cuddle", he's got a raging erection that you can hang a towel on
USMCHokie Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 This is a rare occasion, but I actually have to agree with him on this one, and it's because you fail to see beyond your perspective. The fact that you think It is impossible for me to be friends with men because I am an attractive woman is wrong... When the above words are added, your statement would actually hold true. From your perspective, you can be friends with these guys. Who cares if they want to bang me? He knows I won't. We really are just good friends who kiss and cuddle and go out. We enjoy the company and are both on the same page. The bolded above is most telling that you only view this from your perspective and what you speculate of their perspective. But given their actions, what they want seems to be irrelevant to you. You are getting what you want from the arrangement and projecting those same desires onto them because you aren't receiving any objections. And you also aren't a dude, so it'd be hard for you to empathize.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted August 3, 2012 Author Posted August 3, 2012 Exactly miss j. It is not always about sex. Sometimes we just go out to dinner or watch a movie. Other times we just make out. They are actively dating others, it's not like they are crying themselves to sleep over me 1
USMCHokie Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 That's what they may tell you they want; but they are only kidding themselves. Like I said earlier, "friends" don't have passionate make-out sessions. Any real man knows this. Guys will always want more, they are just sticking around to see if you'll give it up. If they say any different they are lying and no wonder you won't sleep with them, they're wusses. It seems a good test of whether an activity is strictly "friendly" is the following: if the other person was happily married, would the activity still be acceptable? 1
miss_jaclynrae Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 What if I disclosed that we have already slept together before? & He knows it won't happen again... You can call him a pussy, but we really are just friends. I have tons of male friends BTW, all of which I do not do anything physical with, even if I may have at one point. Most of them I truly am just friends with though, course, I also just happen to be a guys girl. I play video games with them, watch sports with them, and can joke around with them... Maybe I am an exception, but it IS possible.
brahmabull117 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 What if I disclosed that we have already slept together before? & He knows it won't happen again... You can call him a pussy, but we really are just friends. I have tons of male friends BTW, all of which I do not do anything physical with, even if I may have at one point. Most of them I truly am just friends with though, course, I also just happen to be a guys girl. I play video games with them, watch sports with them, and can joke around with them... Maybe I am an exception, but it IS possible. I can accept you wanting to be friends with guys if that's what you prefer (although I still don't think attractive women and men can be real friends because everyone of your friends would have sex with you in a heartbeat) but for god's sake stop with the physical activity if you're not actually going to have sex You're what is referred to in the male circles as a "cock tease". You're just using these men for attention and validation and not giving them what they want. It's very selfish behavior and you clearly cannot see past your own perspective because you're 100% satisfied with what you're getting out of the arrangement
miss_jaclynrae Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 I can accept you wanting to be friends with guys if that's what you prefer (although I still don't think attractive women and men can be real friends because everyone of your friends would have sex with you in a heartbeat) but for god's sake stop with the physical activity if you're not actually going to have sex You're what is referred to in the male circles as a "cock tease". You're just using these men for attention and validation and not giving them what they want. It's very selfish behavior and you clearly cannot see past your own perspective because you're 100% satisfied with what you're getting out of the arrangement he is fully aware of what it is. How am I the bad guy?
DreamerDeceiver Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 What if I disclosed that we have already slept together before? & He knows it won't happen again... And why won't it happen again? Was he really that bad? This guy is totally kidding himself by still hanging out with you. I can't believe how bad people will lie to themselves when they think they have another shot. A real man wouldn't put up with that. That's about all I have to say - friends zone is for suckers. 1
USMCHokie Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 And why won't it happen again? Was he really that bad? This guy is totally kidding himself by still hanging out with you. I can't believe how bad people will lie to themselves when they think they have another shot. A real man wouldn't put up with that. That's about all I have to say - friends zone is for suckers. Gah, I was just about to say this. These guys seem to know exactly what they're getting themselves into, so there's no one to blame but themselves. 3
brahmabull117 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 he is fully aware of what it is. How am I the bad guy? Your friend is an idiot and a pussy but you should have the decency to not let him continue to suffer like that You show an incredible lack of interest in the feelings of your supposed "Friends"
miss_jaclynrae Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Your friend is an idiot and a pussy but you should have the decency to not let him continue to suffer like that You show an incredible lack of interest in the feelings of your supposed "Friends" Ever think that maybe we both know it would never work so just enjoy one another company when lonely? Sheesh
brahmabull117 Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Ever think that maybe we both know it would never work so just enjoy one another company when lonely? Sheesh There is no man on planet earth who is okay with just making out/cuddling and then not having sex with an attractive girl unless he's asexual or something No way in the world is that possible. You just don't understand male psychology/perspective and it's laughable/downright absurd to suggest that you would understand it better than the actual men in here do 1
Emilia Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 It seems a good test of whether an activity is strictly "friendly" is the following: if the other person was happily married, would the activity still be acceptable? In the case of my male friends? Yes. That's because I don't touch them, flirt with them nor do I use them as emotional tampons. They are my friends. I relate to men well. We go to watch rugby matches together, we drink and we don't get emotional.
Emilia Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 he is fully aware of what it is. How am I the bad guy? Because you are a user, you use them to get attention and external validation. This is one trait I dislike in my own sex at least men are more upfront about this sort of thing. 3
USMCHokie Posted August 3, 2012 Posted August 3, 2012 Because you are a user, you use them to get attention and external validation. This is one trait I dislike in my own sex at least men are more upfront about this sort of thing. Well, it certainly doesn't seem to be any different from a man who feigns "commitment" in order to get what he wants: sex. 2
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