Eternal Sunshine Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I mean, when things are a bit slow romance wise, do you text/call your back-ups and see them? "Work has been crazy lately, sorry I have been out of touch...do you want to catch up soon?" Mine know the deal and I am pretty sure they are not that into me either. Nobody gets hurt, so I don't see a problem...
Emilia Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 No. Even if I did I wouldn't disrespect them by lying like that. Out of the guys I know, there is a hierarchy whom I'd like to date over whom but in my experience they work it out rather quickly when your interest is not 100%. Nowdays I just try to end up dating the one I really fancy and each time it doesn't work out I try to find someone new rather than go back to the original pool and fish out someone I'm lukewarm about. 3
iris219 Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Nope. I don't keep guys I could call or text when things get slow around. If I wanted a date for tonight, it would be an impossibility because there simply isn't anyone I could contact. I could call a friend and go to dinner with that friend, but I don't know a single male who has romantic interest in me. I'm an either/or sort of girl. Either I like a guy a lot (and he feels the same way) or I'm done. I like to clear the way for the right one, which means, to me, being entirely single, no back-ups, nothing. What do you get out of going out with them? Do you have fun? Personally, I'd rather stay home. It's a chore for me to date men who are unsuitable for whatever reason. 2
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 Nope. I don't keep guys I could call or text when things get slow around. If I wanted a date for tonight, it would be an impossibility because there simply isn't anyone I could contact. I could call a friend and go to dinner with that friend, but I don't know a single male who has romantic interest in me. I'm an either/or sort of girl. Either I like a guy a lot (and he feels the same way) or I'm done. I like to clear the way for the right one, which means, to me, being entirely single, no back-ups, nothing. What do you get out of going out with them? Do you have fun? Personally, I'd rather stay home. It's a chore for me to date men who are unsuitable for whatever reason. Sometimes I get lonely and bored. I enjoy their company.....every now and then. I currently have 2 that I can text/call and I know they would come. I am sure they are both dating others too, they don't seem to get hurt or ask for explanations...
Emilia Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I like to clear the way for the right one, which means, to me, being entirely single, no back-ups, nothing. Yes I think this is very wise. Bed hopping long term is counter productive 1
Imported Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 If I have a "back-up option" than they are all back-up options and I don't feel too deep about any of them anyway. If I go silly over one girl, than I don't even consider other girls and jump in head-first, not check if I am wearing a parachute, every single egg in one basket kinda deal.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 If I have a "back-up option" than they are all back-up options and I don't feel too deep about any of them anyway. If I go silly over one girl, than I don't even consider other girls and jump in head-first, not check if I am wearing a parachute, every single egg in one basket kinda deal. So do I, but say there is no such girl. That's how things are with me right now. That's when back-up options come into play. When the guy I really like comes along, back-ups are blown out of the water. 1
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 This is how I classify guys: 1. Looks + personality = 2. Looks only (something important severely lacking, most often intelligence, sometimes other personality traits) = back-up option 3. Personality only (can't even imagine kissing them) = friend 4. Neither = good-bye
madjac74 Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 So do I, but say there is no such girl. That's how things are with me right now. That's when back-up options come into play. When the guy I really like comes along, back-ups are blown out of the water. That's always the reason backups made me feel sort of low...like oh I'm resorting to him again...and again...and again. I think we are in similar spots romantically and I have gotten to the point where I've even blocked out the backups. Why do I need to go to them for affirmation when they are ALWAYS there for me! That sounded insane but it made sense in my mind
jobaba Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I mean, when things are a bit slow romance wise, do you text/call your back-ups and see them? "Work has been crazy lately, sorry I have been out of touch...do you want to catch up soon?" Mine know the deal and I am pretty sure they are not that into me either. Nobody gets hurt, so I don't see a problem... Same thing as FWB. Eventually things will get sloppy. I had this going on with an ex and I told my buddy it'd be fine. Someone's feelings will start to come into play and in this case she started bringing elements of our relationships back and wanting to hold hands and crap, so I cut it off (at least romance wise). I don't need sex, so I'd rather have her as a friend. She's very smart and very fun. It will work for a while, but usually one person will get attached. You're fine until that happens. 1
jobaba Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 ES, you can be my backup option any day :lmao: NOT a good match...
Art_Critic Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 When I was younger..20's, I would go thru my little black book of numbers when not in a relationship but as I got older.. 30's and matured that book got thrown away and I stopped calling up old people I had dated and just did the introspection of the breakup and didn't start dating someone new until I was actually ready.. Recycling is really not a good relationship habit to have. 6
madjac74 Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 ES, you can be my backup option any day Were you trying to make that sound romantic? You should have tried "ES, I'd be your backup option any day" geesh 4
somedude81 Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 :lmao: NOT a good match... Why? Do you think she'd fall for me? Were you trying to make that sound romantic? You should have tried "ES, I'd be your backup option any day" geesh No, I meant what I said. I'd never be anybodies backup option
january2011 Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I turn to BoB. Otherwise, I don't do back-ups, FBs or casual encounters. My body would fail me: I need the emotional connection and to be in a loving relationship. 4
jobaba Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Were you trying to make that sound romantic? You should have tried "ES, I'd be your backup option any day" geesh It's SD humor dude (or I believe so). If you had been here long enough to know the personality of the two posters, you'd understand.
truth_seeker Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I wouldn't trust or respect a girl who would call me out of the blue when she is bored and has no other options. If she were really hot, and we had great sexually chemistry, I wouldn't mind the occasional romp, but that's about it.
Star Gazer Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 When I was younger and single, I did this occasionally. But then I realized it only made me feel even more lonely and bored than I already was, and I felt bad for wasting the guy's time. 3
Ross MwcFan Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 People are so unbelievably lucky to have back up options.
proseandpassion Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Yep. This may sound horrible, but when I am just casually dating someone, I am usually initiating talks with a few more people just in case option #1 fails. And it usually does (option #1 fails). I don't like to put all my eggs in one basket unless it's serious.
Emilia Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Yep. This may sound horrible, but when I am just casually dating someone, I am usually initiating talks with a few more people just in case option #1 fails. And it usually does (option #1 fails). I don't like to put all my eggs in one basket unless it's serious. Oh I chat to guys too and explore options
veggirl Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I mean there's like 20 dudes in my phone I could call to entertain me for a night and they'd show up but I'd never actually do that. If I'm not interested in dating a guy I don't hang out one on one. If I get bored or lonely I call my sister or best friend.
rocketman122 Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 No, would never do such a thing because I have high moral and ethical values. IMO it says a lot about a person and their integrity. its disrespectful and very shallow. I do have 2 from jdate that would jump at the opportunity and we spoke of having "fun" (I treat them to lunch/dinner for a fruck) , but that was when I was really horny. but I cant bring myself to do such a thing. never had one night stands, and dont believe in them. I need the emotions to be intimate with someone.. I think its pathetic to do such a thing. 2
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