miss_jaclynrae Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 THATS WHAT SHE SAID! Ok, in all seriousness. I am dating two great guys. 1. Settled, has everything when it comes down to material items, is very family oriented and not to mention the fact that he is just a good guy, and is one of those people where I can just be my lazy self. Our nights consist of wine and a movie and just relaxing, us cooking dinner and talking, and then I of course spend the night at his place quite a bit. It isn't forced, we go do things, but for the most part it is like we have been together for ages in that we are pretty much homebodies. 2. My dream guy. The one I have posted about before. Adventurous, very similar to me intellectually, hilarious, and a very down to earth man. He is always so polite and treats me like a princess. Our dates are always my favorite because we have so much fun together. I get to be my dorky adventurous self and he adores me for it. He is just a blast overall and we can talk about everything. Each one of them has what I wish the other ALSO had. I like them both in there own way, but oddly enough, I find myself drawn to the kinda boring but super comfortable guy #1... even though many of our tastes are different, and he isn't funny. Ok, end rant. I just wanted to get that **** off my chest.
USMCHokie Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 First of all, you can't "that's what she said" your own line. Secondly, what's wrong with guy#2 then...?
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 First of all, you can't "that's what she said" your own line. Secondly, what's wrong with guy#2 then...? I pulled a Michael... DUH. He is the one that is 23, recently divorced, just got out of the marines, [yeah, I said it] is living at home and just starting college. He loves to party still and go to clubs and get trashed with his friends... and I feel old because I am over that ****. They both are in completely different places in their life.
USMCHokie Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I pulled a Michael... DUH. He is the one that is 23, recently divorced, just got out of the marines, [yeah, I said it] is living at home and just starting college. He loves to party still and go to clubs and get trashed with his friends... and I feel old because I am over that ****. They both are in completely different places in their life. So he is the dreamboat because he still have that young "edginess" about him, right? And he's probably hot? :laugh:
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 So he is the dreamboat because he still have that young "edginess" about him, right? And he's probably hot? :laugh: Well, they both are hot in their own different ways. It isn't the edginess, he has so many traits that I appreciate, traits that I WANT in someone else. His is a "white knight" as you all call it. His only downfall is that he isn't ready for a relationship right now and I have a feeling getting married again is a long way off for him, while I would love to be married sooner rather than later. *shrug*
MrCastle Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Why don't you take a trip to New York first, then we'll see how you feel about the gentlemen in question. Ha, seriously though, you shouldn't even be thinking marriage! Aren't you two years younger than me? I'm not getting married until I'm like 40 or something
USMCHokie Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 It isn't the edginess, he has so many traits that I appreciate, traits that I WANT in someone else. His is a "white knight" as you all call it. His only downfall is that he isn't ready for a relationship right now and I have a feeling getting married again is a long way off for him, while I would love to be married sooner rather than later. *shrug* Got it...but do you think it's also his unreadiness to settle down that is particularly appealing to you, especially coming off of your last relationship...? So is the only thing appealing about guy #1 his readiness to settle down...? It seems the personality of #2 is who you want...but #1 is only in the running because he'll get married sooner...?
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 Why don't you take a trip to New York first, then we'll see how you feel about the gentlemen in question. Ha, seriously though, you shouldn't even be thinking marriage! Aren't you two years younger than me? I'm not getting married until I'm like 40 or something I don't plan on getting married TOMORROW, but I definitely have a timeline I want to stay in. Maybe not even marriage, but just a solid commitment. I loved being married, mostly because I love having that level of comfort with someone. Got it...but do you think it's also his unreadiness to settle down that is particularly appealing to you, especially coming off of your last relationship...? So is the only thing appealing about guy #1 his readiness to settle down...? It seems the personality of #2 is who you want...but #1 is only in the running because he'll get married sooner...? It is unappealing, and not just settle down... I in no way want it to be constant boring, but i want all the adventures that we have together along with the cozy nights at home. I don't want to go out and party all the time, I work too damn much. #1 Is just so kind, the only way I can describe it is that he is just a GOOD man. Loves kids, treats me well, and I can honestly say I wake up next to him and am just content with where I am. I can still be a dork, but he doesn't make me laugh that much. He likes to do things, we go to san fran together, tahoe, and go on adventures, but it is in those moments that I wish I was with #2. It is still fun, but I don't feel as alive. I dont know, I am odd. #1 Is older too, which is where the stability part plays a role. He is so sweet to me too though, so he still has a lot going for him.
kaylan Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Why is this even a contest to begin with? You dont really like guy number 1 at all. Stop using him for his material items and go with the guy you truly click with. Dont waste number 1's time. Jeez
Dafa Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 THATS WHAT SHE SAID! Ok, in all seriousness. I am dating two great guys. 1. Settled, has everything when it comes down to material items, is very family oriented and not to mention the fact that he is just a good guy, and is one of those people where I can just be my lazy self. Our nights consist of wine and a movie and just relaxing, us cooking dinner and talking, and then I of course spend the night at his place quite a bit. It isn't forced, we go do things, but for the most part it is like we have been together for ages in that we are pretty much homebodies. 2. My dream guy. The one I have posted about before. Adventurous, very similar to me intellectually, hilarious, and a very down to earth man. He is always so polite and treats me like a princess. Our dates are always my favorite because we have so much fun together. I get to be my dorky adventurous self and he adores me for it. He is just a blast overall and we can talk about everything. Each one of them has what I wish the other ALSO had. I like them both in there own way, but oddly enough, I find myself drawn to the kinda boring but super comfortable guy #1... even though many of our tastes are different, and he isn't funny. Ok, end rant. I just wanted to get that **** off my chest. I can't help but notice that the way you write about the two dudes is very different. The way you argue in favour of guy #1 is very practical and rational, while in the case of guy #2 you are clearly much more emotional. I believe your answer is right here. Furthermore, I would bet that if you choose guy #1, you would have a hard time getting totally over the choice you made simply because of the much higher chemistry you appear to have with guy #2. Having said that, i gotta ask: Do they know you are multi-"dating"? Or do you know if they are "multi-dating"? I doubt guy #1 is... Regardless, at least make your decision soon, if only to not waste guy #1's time, as previous posters have said... I gotta say that it is not fair at all for him, assuming he is not doing the same thing you are. Would you like it if he were? It would change your opinion of him, am i right?
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 1. I am not sleeping with both of them. 2. Both of them know I am dating other people. 3. I have my own place and pay for my own **** thank you very much, no using going on here.
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 I can't help but notice that the way you write about the two dudes is very different. The way you argue in favour of guy #1 is very practical and rational, while in the case of guy #2 you are clearly much more emotional. I believe your answer is right here. Furthermore, I would bet that if you choose guy #1, you would have a hard time getting totally over the choice you made simply because of the much higher chemistry you appear to have with guy #2. Having said that, i gotta ask: Do they know you are multi-"dating"? Or do you know if they are "multi-dating"? I doubt guy #1 is... Regardless, at least make your decision soon, if only to not waste guy #1's time, as previous posters have said... I gotta say that it is not fair at all for him, assuming he is not doing the same thing you are. Would you like it if he were? It would change your opinion of him, am i right? This is a solid post. Thank you for actually saying something that makes sense! I think deep down I realize I probably won't end up with either of them in the long run. Your first part is very accurate. One is practical, while the other is emotional. The only problem is that I really do enjoy my time with #1, and I do have an emotional attachment to him. I am at this point in dating where I wonder if the "lust" is necessary to have a long lasting loving relationship. I don't think I would mind if things worked out with #1 even if he isn't perfect, mostly because I think he would still be a great man to be with. Maybe he wouldn't make me giggle as much or experience that swooning feeling as often, but he would be someone who I could spend long amounts of time with and still be content. He does know I am dating, but he also knows that for the most part he is the only one I really want to be with. I miss #1 when I don't see him for long periods of time, while #2 we have gone months of not seeing each other and start from where we left off without skipping a beat. Either way, yes, they both know I am dating other people. For a time there with #1 I told him I was no longer dating others due to the fact that I was feeling very connected with him. He confessed he still wasn't over his ex quite yet though so I decided in order to keep myself from investing too much I would continue dating others. It probably won't work out with either, but it still makes me question whether in the long run it is better to go with a logical choice rather than an emotional one. ETA: I am sleeping with #1
madjac74 Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I don't see why she has to explain anything to anyone and why she has to make up her mind on either of them. From what I understand is she is a single woman dating people and hasn't made a commitment to anyone. I mean there are lots of people who date without any intentions of making a commitment to anypne. Now if one of these guys says that she needs to make that commitment or he is gone then she will have to make a decision.
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 I don't see why she has to explain anything to anyone and why she has to make up her mind on either of them. From what I understand is she is a single woman dating people and hasn't made a commitment to anyone. I mean there are lots of people who date without any intentions of making a commitment to anypne. Now if one of these guys says that she needs to make that commitment or he is gone then she will have to make a decision. Thank you for not calling me a "hoe". This is exactly what my situation is.
madjac74 Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Thank you for not calling me a "hoe". This is exactly what my situation is. I don't see how this makes you a gardening tool. But anyhoo... who hasn't dated multiple people at the same time before? I think anyone who is in the dating scene knows that if there isnt any commitment then anyone they are seeing casually is likely seeing others as well...or at least has every right to.
Emilia Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 For a time there with #1 I told him I was no longer dating others due to the fact that I was feeling very connected with him. He confessed he still wasn't over his ex quite yet though so I decided in order to keep myself from investing too much I would continue dating others. It probably won't work out with either, but it still makes me question whether in the long run it is better to go with a logical choice rather than an emotional one. ETA: I am sleeping with #1 Bad solution to #1's situation. You should have broken up with him at that point and start afresh with someone new. This is a no-win situation for you, you are giving him sex without the commitment and not getting a relationship you are looking for.
mickleb Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 For your (and their authors') information: the offensive posts on here have been reported, MJ. Okay now lady. I'm gonna say, I *kinda* get a whiff of Passive Commitment Phobia from you. Guy #1 would be settling, and he's not even totally committed to you. Guy #2 is unavailable. What's the deal, girl? You should know you can do better than either of them? Secondly, what on earth is this 'I'm 23, I've got a timeline I need to stick to' stuff? Love doesn't do timelines. 2
StrangeBehaviors Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 You appear to be someone that thinks she is putting feelers out there, testing, trying new things, with various justifications and analyzations as to why it's ok. But really are just a mess. Slow down and get help before a bunch of people get hurt. 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Neither one really sound worthwhile romantically from your descriptions...just kinda seems like you want to date around a bit yet now trying to determine If you should settle down with one of these semi-good options. I think you're too concerned with getting back into a long-term relationship when you're not even really that romantically invested, you should feel way more affection for one of these guys to make it more clear on who to settle down with at this point (assuming that they'd settle for you anyway)...right now you're just doing the basic cross comparison like it's choosing between two pairs of shoes. I think you're both doing the same thing to each other except maybe guy number 1, but since they both don't seem to mind that you're multi-dating/possibly sleeping around, they can't be all that interested in you imo. You seem rather excited to be in this rather immature/silly and typical conundrum.
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 I really am not looking to settle down anytime soon. I actually enjoy being single, this was merely a rant about how I want to pretty much combine them both. THAT would be a dream man. It is true though, I am pretty aware that it won't work out with either, I just am enjoying the company right now. I guess right now I have the best of both worlds!
proseandpassion Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I've done this before. Dated a few people who, all combined, made the perfect person for me. Nothing wrong with it. Why not continue seeing them both if it's going well so far? Personally, I'd pick #1.
Emilia Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I've done this before. Dated a few people who, all combined, made the perfect person for me. Nothing wrong with it. Why not continue seeing them both if it's going well so far? Personally, I'd pick #1. Except it isn't going well and #1 only wants the OP for sex. OP, you need to find a boyfriend, give up on these two
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 Except it isn't going well and #1 only wants the OP for sex. OP, you need to find a boyfriend, give up on these two I will pass on a boyfriend for now. He may be using me for sex, but I am also using him for company so it works. *shrug* We go out as I said, and we don't always have sex. I want a boyfriend, but I am actually pretty happy with how things are going right now.
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