Girls with baggage are trouble?Show me the red flags if any

[dacookie]

Alright I wanted to point out a few things before I go into it so everyone can help me out here.Im 20, decent looking but definitely not perfect, lean and athletic, she is 28, very overweight her whole life, not very good looking.We arent in a relationship because I did not want her to be a rebound, didnt want a long distance relationship and I was not over my ex at the time and I also wanted to see how she was in person but we have been talking the past 6 months and most of it has been very good.Personality wise at my worst I am impulsive, impatient, paranoid, jealous and angered easily but never will I hit someone...I mean I am sensitive.From my ex I learned that having someone patient and understanding as a partner is pretty much essential.Someone who will take their time with me and not shout, always explain things to me calmly.She has been doing this and conflict has always been worked out soon after because of that, communication is very good and we both champion honesty, well that is what is what I thought until recently.Note that I am moving in with her and some of her family because job prospects in my country are terrible and there is a whole host of other reasons I will not get into.

 

When we started first talking things were great.I would have classed us as really good friends that slowly got a lot closer.She flirted a lot with me and me just a little with her.She started calling me pet names and I asked her if she did that with anyone else, she told me no.That was when I got a lot more flirty with her, I told her she was very becoming to me, soon after that is when problems and conflict arose(about 3 months in of knowing her)

 

We were talking about penis size one day and she told me she that she recently slept with a guy that was nine inches, she told me she came 4 times.Naturally I got very upset as I thought we were a lot closer then that, this and that she slept with him on the first date really got to me.I was mostly unangry and just deeply hurt, that feeling where your heart just sinks and falls out your ass.She explained to me that sleeping with him on the first date was a mistake and that she was sorry I felt this way but was not sorry that she slept with this guy because she thought I was just joking around as usually guys like me(her words not mine, good looking, athletic, do not go for girls like her, very overweight) and didnt know how I felt.She said she didnt know what 'becoming' meant.She told me that I should have said something along the lines of 'I want to make you mine'.

 

This is where it gets tricky, before sleeping with this guy she had referred to me as her 'toy' to someone else and said that usually she is the 'toy' in the relationship.And when telling me the story about sleeping with this guy she said that he just wanted to be FWB afterwards and that she wanted a relationship so she was thinking about it.After awhile this story changed to her saying she thought about it and said no BEFORE I had even got upset about it.This could be paranoia im not exactly sure, but what im about to say is definitely not paranoia.

 

Now about living over there...she originally told me she owned the house and that her mother and grandma were living there because during a storm a tree fell and hit their house and its getting repaired.Well it turns out her very good looking cousin also lives in the same house which she didnt mention, she saw I was friends with this girl on facebook so she added me.We got talking and she told me she also lives in the same house and that its actually her grandma who owns the house and that they all live there permanently!She even asked me if I we were talking about the same person.

 

She complains about her mother and grandma living in the house sometimes so I usually bring up 'so when are they going to leave?'She says that she doesnt know.I have done this multiple times including 'when will their house be repaired?'And if I remember correctly she made up a story about how its gonna be a few more weeks???She has had plenty of times to say she was lieing about this and for someone who gets disappointed in me even when I joke lie about something(I am not a very serious person) this comes across to me as very odd for someone who is really against any sort of dishonesty whatsoever.

 

I have not talked about the positive side of her of which there is many things.She is extremely nice to me and she said a good while ago that if I just want to live with her and not have a relationship with her then that is fine but that was before she even slept with that guy at the 3month mark.But she clearly has feelings for me(She is even coming over to my country for a week after she has received my visa papers) but she now after 6months seems to be showing her true side as a selective liar, ie someone who lies if it benefits them.I dont know if thats the case or I am just paranoid.Part of me wants to believe everything she says and the other says Im just going to get hurt.I am beginning to think she has really fallen for my looks rather then anything even though she insists not and is lieing because she wants me to have a better opinion of her, because she rarely gets attention from guys and especially ones that are good looking but I just dont know.I have an idea of what the red flags are but Im just not 100% sure so if anyone could point them out it would help me a lot and id be greatful.

[dacookie]

Well nevermind this, seems her cousin lied and is bipolar, lieing all the time for attention.