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Am I crazy for even considering this could work out? I found out she's slept around

jav1016

By jav1016
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jav1016 New Member

jav1016

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Hi all,

 

I'm new to this forum..

 

About seven months ago, I went through a break up and started online dating... I found this girl, cute, thin, down-to-earth, lives alone (shes 29, I'm 30) and lives nearby...

 

We go on a date, and all seems normal...

 

Second date, we go to a museum and have a nice time... but she says something weird, during the date, that she sleeps around with men (red flag #1), jokingly... I brush it off as if she was trying to get a reaction from me... anyhow date is over and she sleeps over my house (we didn't have sex at all), but I thought it was quick...

 

Flash forward two months, we're still dating, I beginning to think it is something good... she tells me her male friend is coming to visit her from NC and is staying at her house... I'm like what?! I tell her I'm not happy baout it, but shes an adult and can do what she pleases... She says they sleep in seperate beds, but c'mon... I didn't buy it, and still don't...

 

After that I tried dating on the side, but didn't find anyone exciting... (little did I know what I was in for)...

 

Anyhow, flash forward another 3 months and she gets a call from her boss wife accusing her of messing around with her husband... which I suspect somehting is going on anyhow... (they are very friendly, and he owns the business and it is small so they have plenty of time alone)....

 

here's where this gets very interesting and most of you will likely tell me I'm crazy for still seeing her...

 

I begin to pay close attention to things, and one day she left her computer open... and notice some e-mails.. .aparentley about a month and a half after she started seeing me, she was talking to some other girl as she was curious (which doesn't bother me), but in her e-mail she talks about how she cheated on her ex with another guy to help her get a job, and how she gets around with men, including a relationship with a guy in florida she used to date, a guy from nc (remember from earlier in message), a professor, and a lawyer friend...

 

now... I haven't been an angel in the past myself, and liked to sleep around with women, but what bugs me is that she said she wanted a relationship, and not something casual (she asked me if i wanted casual or relationship), so why not just be honest...

 

She hasn't e-mailed the girl again, nor has she had anyone else come over, but I feel like I can't trust her at all, and wonder if she'll ever be a good girl... I feel like she's fallen for me as she cooks, helps me clean my house, and like good girl things... but in the e-mail she even talks about her she has a good girl side and bad girl side, so I imagine it could very well be an act... she talks about having a family etc one day, but I dont want to get serious with a girl who's going to banging everyone behind my back! so for now I've just been having fun with her while I keep my eyes open

 

What do you all think ?

Pasttense Established Member

Pasttense

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I don't think you should be snooping into her email without her permission.

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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It sounds to me OP that you found the whore of babylon

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SmileFace Established Member

SmileFace

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It sounds to me OP that you found the whore of babylon

I found this amusing

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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I found this amusing

 

I know it's not amusing for the OP but I couldn't help myself :o

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SmileFace Established Member

SmileFace

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I know it's not amusing for the OP but I couldn't help myself :o

 

Be careful with the use of slurs.hehe

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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Be careful with the use of slurs.hehe

 

It's not a slur, it's a reference to a religious character. not a 'whore' as in usual meaning of the word

SmileFace Established Member

SmileFace

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It's not a slur, it's a reference to a religious character. not a 'whore' as in usual meaning of the word

 

I wasn't serious -_-

  • Like 1
Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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I wasn't serious -_-

 

;)

 

Sorry OP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

manup Established Member

manup

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RUN!!! RUN!!! RUN!!! Unless you just want to casually date her.

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jav1016 New Member

jav1016

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What I wonder is why would she cook for me, help me clean etc?

 

Also why say she wants a relationship but then string me along?

 

Her father left her and her mom

When young. Maybe that's the cause here. Anyway now she wants to go on vacation?

 

I am just having fun till I find someone else

Imajerk17 Established Member

Imajerk17

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Is this even a serious question?

 

Even if it is a case of her right hand not knowing what her left hand is doing, she's going to keep cheating on you. She has been doing this to you for several months. Why would things possibly change further down the road.

 

Maybe she wants a Provider Partner with her just in case she gets pregnant from her various other lovers?

Edited by Imajerk17
Leopard Established Member

Leopard

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I think you need to read your own post and then things will become obvious.

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jav1016 New Member

jav1016

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I know I have to move on. Bu half of me thinks she might finally want to settle down and I was the lucky one but how can I trust her

 

Anyway she wants to goto on vacation. I think I will but I've already started looking around

DreamerDeceiver Member

DreamerDeceiver

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The only person you can count on changing, is you. Don't count on other people to change, because they usually won't. The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior... what will happen is, this issue will heat up until it boils over. So, you should talk to her about your thoughts!

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jav1016 New Member

jav1016

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Gibson you're right on. I'm lookin for someone and just gonna screw her until I do. Definitely not wifey material but she does out on a good act

 

Half of me thinks she ls falling for me but the other half thunks she's full of **** especially since I've caught her lying even about stupid things

 

Sad really. Very pretty girl

veggirl Established Member

veggirl

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If you wanna go on vacation with her, AT LEAST make sure she pays for half.

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jav1016 New Member

jav1016

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We booked a short thing and she paid for her share - no way in hell would I pay for her

 

Oddly enough everything she did in the past - I once did too maybe this is karma lol

 

When it's time

To cut loose should I confront her or just leave peacefully. Most have told me not to confront

proseandpassion Established Member

proseandpassion

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She sounds like a user. Big time. Get out, now.

truth_seeker Established Member

truth_seeker

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You can't trust her or take her seriously. She is damaged beyond repair. You will only get hurt more and more the longer you emotionally invest in her. She will continue to sleep with other men while she is dating you.

 

Break away for your own good.

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jav1016 New Member

jav1016

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I have a theory as to why she is the way she is. She's from Russia, and only real family is her mom, after the communism fell. They became very poor. He says she worked at a hotel and casino. Casino is very worrisome as they run by the mafia. In the casino she says she worked at a club (where they also) had strippers. She said she only worked with food : beverage mgmt but who knows

 

Maybe she was a postitute.

 

aww now half of me regrets booking the trip

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