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get over it!!

ahmedelsaka

By ahmedelsaka
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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ahmedelsaka Member

ahmedelsaka

Posted
Posted

hey,

i just want to help a friend.....ok well i want to get back with her, see, there is this girl i like, but now lets just say that im in the friendzone with her. as she was in love.... no i mean madly crazy about him. and the guy she liked is m friend. now he was an ahole with her and they had some problems, and they broke up, and me and her got back to super close friends, and one day, i was just flirting with her, and then the topic came up, and she told me that she didnt want a boyfriend, and if she did, she doesent want anyone other than me, and after some time in the friendzone, she told me why, it was cuz she was still not over her ex bf (who i also mentioned, is my friend) and i told her that it takes time and a looooooooong message trying to help her, she said ok and she went, i asked her if everything is okay she said that eveything is okay, and its just that she doesent like long messages. and i told her okay, and we talked, but she still seemed wierd. and then she went to sleep. i told her how much she means to me, and good night, but in a small message. now how can i help her get over him? this really pisses me off :/

AlexanderJames Established Member

AlexanderJames

Posted
Posted (edited)

You can't mate. It's her fight.

 

She needs time, and if anything you trying to secure yourself a position to be next in line is only making it harder for her.

 

Honestly the best thing you can do;

Tell her that you are there for her if she ever need. (Only tell her this once, she will remember and if she wants to come to you she will)

 

Get yourself some distance from her. Dont bug her to hang out and dont txt her all the time. It's okay to go a few days to a week without messaging her. She's getting over a heartbreak. For the time being she will be dealing with he own thoughts and emotions. Thinking about your mate, herself, and what she used to have. She probably wont think about you much, not for a while anyway. If anything you stepping back and letting her sort her **** might even make her think about you and miss you. But dont hold me to that.

 

Txt her from time to time telling her You're thinking of her. And that you hope she is doing well. Maybe once a week to once a fortnight but nothing more dont let it turn into small talk or pointless chat this just causes boredom between the two of you. This way you wont be bugging her, but she will be reminded that you care. Without the chance of her getting sick of you.

 

Most important part last. TALK TO YOUR MATE AND GET HIS CONSENT. No girl is worth losing a friendship over. Good mates are hard to come by, and even harder to earn back when you betray them. Do not try and get with this girl behind your mates back. I know if a friend of mine started dating my ex not only would I hate my ex, I'd hate the 'friend' and I'd spiral back down into heartbreak and depression. It's not something you cant do without asking your friend if he's okay with it.

Edited by AlexanderJames
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