Sweett Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 I still struggle with letting go and it's like I keep trying to find fault in myself and everyone Is telling me it wasn't my fault and I didn't cause the breakup. I never thought it was in my ex's character to cheat on me. The first 8 months were great and then came the arguing. After the arguments he would threaten to leave saying he couldn't do right by me, etc. But he always stayed and told me he loved me. Its so emotionally draining when someone abuses the words I love you or tell u they love u but threaten to leave because of a disagreement, so I didnt know if I shouldve stayed or left but I didnt want to lose him because I loved him but lost him anyway. A year later I caught a girl at his house in his bedroom fully dressed and watching tv on his bed ( I cannot confirm a sexual act) but I do know he had been cheating emotionally with her. i even tried to forgive him but 3 weeks after this he called me and broke up with me while I was at work. I keep thinking maybe I deserved to be cheated on because I couldn't let go. Everyone tells me to stop trying to find fault in myself and nothing justifies cheating so why can't I stop trying to pick this apart. It seems it was easier for him to go elsewhere rather than try to work on things with me (meaning cut her off completely and truly focus on us). My therapist told me it sounded like he was emotionally unavailable to me. So I'm like why??? She said well maybe because u saw who he really was early on( angry, overpowering, poor listener andcommunicator, caught him cheating etc.) the way she explained it made sense however I can't stop feeling so down, I have good days and bad days but seems like more bad days than good.
Tyler. Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Your friends are right, but no matter how much they tell you this, it's not going to sink in until you realise it yourself. I've been through being cheated on, and no matter how bad it hurt me, i used to only remember the good times with her, not the bad. But after a while, i've realised that i've done so much for this girl, yet she did this. It's normal if you blame yourself for his cheating, but the problem isn't you. The problem isn't the fights, arguements or even the sex. The problem is him. No matter what happens, if you cheat, you're saying that you would rather have this person than your significant other. And there is no going back after that. One other simple thing is, if he cheated, he doesn't deserve you. And if you didn't cheat, you don't deserve a cheater. This is my opinion of relationships, liars deserve liars, cheaters deserve cheaters and good people deserve good people. It's that simple. I repeat, it wasn't your fault he cheated, it was his fault for chosing to be an *******. He doesn't deserve the time you spend thinking of him. One day you'll find someone who is perfect for you, just don't give up Remember though, life is what you make it, so make yourself happy.
Author Sweett Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 Your friends are right, but no matter how much they tell you this, it's not going to sink in until you realise it yourself. I've been through being cheated on, and no matter how bad it hurt me, i used to only remember the good times with her, not the bad. But after a while, i've realised that i've done so much for this girl, yet she did this. It's normal if you blame yourself for his cheating, but the problem isn't you. The problem isn't the fights, arguements or even the sex. The problem is him. No matter what happens, if you cheat, you're saying that you would rather have this person than your significant other. And there is no going back after that. One other simple thing is, if he cheated, he doesn't deserve you. And if you didn't cheat, you don't deserve a cheater. This is my opinion of relationships, liars deserve liars, cheaters deserve cheaters and good people deserve good people. It's that simple. I repeat, it wasn't your fault he cheated, it was his fault for chosing to be an *******. He doesn't deserve the time you spend thinking of him. One day you'll find someone who is perfect for you, just don't give up Remember though, life is what you make it, so make yourself happy. Thanks this helps! Cheaters do deserve cheaters my ex's now fiancé knew about me while I was with him and that didnt stop her so that makes her a cheater too so him and her are probably better for each other!!
Tyler. Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 That's the spirit yeah they deserve each other so you don't have to stoop to their level. Just keep being awesome and and you'll find an equally awesome person
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