Gaprofitt Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 (edited) Hi All, My story is as follows. I met my wife in 1999, immediately when I saw her she was soo cute, I was soo nervous. We hit it off very well, up and leading to us getting married in 2003. We went through the years and really had communication issues now that I look back, we resented each other for various things, she wasn't motivated to do much and I was super motived, we clashed a good bit. I became controlling, not respecting her and building up a huge resentment which caused us to argue a lot. I would also call her names when I got upset and exhibited verbal abuse, which really really hurt her and honestly I didn't mean a thing I said. I know she felt like I was never happy with her but in a lot of areas I really was, she was beautiful, sweet, kind and loving. We should have been in marriage counseling years ago and also individual counseling but we never did go. In 2011 we had our first child which was a struggle in itself for her to get pregnant. I was just so happy to be a dad, I still am. She is a great mom also, not just great, amazing.. We both seemed so happy with the new baby, I know she loved it as did I. I know when the baby came she focused more and more on our bad relationship without me completely realizing how unhappy she was. On July 1st she left me and took my son, I haven't talked to her on the phone since, she will barely respond to emails and is beyond Angry. She is living about 2 hours from me. I have went and seen my son a bunch and she is beyond Angry toward me, tells me I wasted her life, made her walk on eggshells, told my family she hates me, all of the above. I wish she would have broken down like this in front of me before leaving. I looked at my credit card statement and she filed for Divorce on June 28th. I emailed her about 300 times pleading to talk to me, give me answers etc. She responded a few times "It's too late, i wish you would have said this 3 months ago, etc" "I don't want our son to grow up in that kind of environment, you can't change, etc" I immediately took a look in the mirror and released I needed to make a change. I started going to two counselors and have ever sense, I also have received other various help beyond counselors, she doesn't know all what I have done except the counselors as I can't email her anymore as she blocked me via her attorney. She does know I am going to counseling. I have been very honest with the counselor and other classes I have taken. They have made me understand my behavior and my anxiety and fear and have been treating me very well. It has been a godsend to understand myself and how to relax and release fear and anxiety. My anxiety caused a lot of issues due to stress in our marriage. I have been to the counselors over 15 times along with various classes for my bad behavior, name calling, controlling, listening better, etc. After a month I honestly feel like a different person, i'm not naive to think treatment is done as I will likely go for years but I feel so much better regarding myself and understanding myself. In regards to my marriage I have told my wife I feel like a different person and I have really started to change, I really have. She doesn't buy it at all and discredits all my hard work for our marriage, it's over in otherwise. I can't bring myself to accept with a 10 month old son she doesn't want to try and save our marriage and our family. She is beyond angry with me, now I can't talk to her at all, no emails, no phone, nothing. I have lost 36 pounds in the last month, I rarely sleep more than 4 hours and find it very hard to work or even plain function. As bad as that sounds it's a lot better than it was 30 days ago. I don't have a lot of friends so I reached out to some dating sites just to find someone to talk to who has been through divorce. I just gave up on this people are just looking to date, not help a guy with his divorce, I don't know what I was thinking so I gave up on that idea. I'm certainly not ready to date and will not be for a long time. I can barely eat and sleep, much less date. I'm just beside myself as I sit here by myself in our home with our nursery and our looming divorce. I've tried everything to convince her otherwise, I really honestly believe I am fully committed to change and would do anything for her. She just doesn't care and is done she says, god that hurts as I want a family and even another child if things were to improve greatly. I want to show her so badly how things can be.. I know it sounds crazy, but your wife and son moving out is a huge wakeup call, a huge lightning bolt. I was so living in the mud and just went day by day not acknowledging the issues, problems and the help we needed. I miss her so much and my son, I cry all the time at my desk at work, it's so embarrassing. I love her so much, I don't even remotely understand her anger, keeping my son from me etc. I know I did a lot of stuff wrong but it's like she is trying to penalize me. We went to Denver the week before she left on a business trip, no mention of anything on the trip, we went out to dinner, sexual stuff, walking, she took my son to the zoo, no clue. I think she had been thinking about it for about 2 weeks, I also found a dr phil relationship book in a drawer, I have no clue why she didn't breakdown to me and totally lose it. I would have completely realized we needed help majorly then. Our temporary hearing is Aug 16th, i've begged her to postpone it, give it some time, let us meet to talk,etc. She wants nothing to do with me, it's beyond hurtful. Thanks for listening, sorry this was soo long. Greg Gaprofitt Edited August 1, 2012 by Gaprofitt
iSUGAR Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Sorry i can't really help you but i hope the best for you, you sound like a sweet man and i think all children should be able to see both of their parents at any time.
Recommended Posts