TrebleClef Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Speak only for yourself. Men can call to hear a woman's voice because he wants an ego feed. Or he's playing games. There ARE malcious and game playing guys out there who don't care and will still call. Your thread may give others in bad situations hope. Not all situations are the same and men certainly aren't all the same. Just because you called your exMW with the intention of love, doesn't mean others are. Amen!!! Whichwayisup I got a little excited when i saw the "Coming from a man..." title. I was like wow, really? Let me check this out immediately! He used to call (during one of his dumpings of me...go figure), I wouldn't answer and he'd leave a msg: "hadn't heard your voice, I guess your v/m recording will do for now, call me, I miss you".
TrebleClef Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 I don't think a woman should assume any man calling her is because he cares so much or loves her. That's naive. People call for all kinds of reasons. {BAD WORD!!!} I wish I had known this, was more insightful, more experienced, not naive and had more common sense when I got that first freakin' email from HIM a little over 2 yrs ago! "Is this THE _____?" the email read. That was my first red flag huh?. My picture was right next to my dang name, I hadn't changed much since college, he knew doggon well it was THE _____. UGH!!!! I wish I had known all his undying love for me, "you should've been my wife/mom of my children"... and (the Coup de Gras) "I'M DIVORCED" was a pile of poop!! Or was "I'm a minister" the coup de gras? Oh wait, no...the "I'm actually not divorced yet, I'm legally separated and divorcING" That's it. Wow, I think I've just set myself back a few paces. Dang it!
2sunny Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 This thread makes me laugh ( I posted it d'oh!) Because everything I have read these past few months has been, "Actions speak louder than words" But....here you say "words speak louder than actions" So which is it? What do you believe more? Picking up the phone and making a call isn't 'action' or 'change'. You're using actions speak louder than words in the wrong context. A MM can text his OW 100x a day, that doesn't mean he is in love with her, planning on leaving his wife and divorcing. That 'action' is self serving. Do you see the difference, depending on the situtation and context of what is going on? So we're on the subject of action eh? What have YOU DONE that changes things with your wife? Have you gotten honest with her - the gal you're married to?
East7 Posted August 6, 2012 Posted August 6, 2012 Stoneman, I will give you an example in reversed roles : My xMW texts me EVERY month to tell me that she loves me. Maybe she really does BUT she is always with her husband. She chose to pursue her life with him, so what should I think? That she really cares about me ? Calling your xMW doesn't mean anything. It is safe, harmless, cheap to pick a phone and say "Hello, I miss you" So what ? Is she supposed to be happier ? Are you supposed to be happier? Am I supposed to be happy that xMW pines after me ? Your both played a loose-loose game. There is no winner in an affair, everyone gets hurt at some point. You chose your life, your family; she chose her husband, end of the story. Did she love you ? Maybe she did, you will never really know. As long as it was an A it will stay unresolved. That's why sometimes people pine after their AP for years . ALL you need to know is that she she didn't chose you and you didn't chose her in first place. Actions define decisions.
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