2sweet9 Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 I have never done one of these forum threads before. But, I could really use some advice. My bf and I of a year broke up six months ago. He wanted to take a step back and be friends. He said that he really hoped that we could remain friends and maybe down the line... I told him, absolutely not. I was very hurt because I loved him and I couldn't imagine being just friends with him. After we broke up, he called me and text me the next day and continued to contact me for weeks and I didn't respond. I changed my number and took him off my social network so he would stop contacting me. He then emailed me three months later asking me how I was. I still didn't respond. Then early this month, he emailed me on my social site saying that he missed talking to me. (although we are not friends on that site anymore, he still found a way to contact me). I just now contacted him back after six months and he responded right away saying that he was happy to hear from me and misses me. He also asked why I changed my number, should I be honest and tell him the truth? my reason: I needed space away from him and needed time to get over the break-up. Should I be honest with him and tell him this? I still care about him and now willing to be on talking terms with him again. I am not putting all my faith in the notion of us getting back together, but I don't mind having a casual relationship with him.
flitzanu Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 I have never done one of these forum threads before. But, I could really use some advice. My bf and I of a year broke up six months ago. He wanted to take a step back and be friends. He said that he really hoped that we could remain friends and maybe down the line... I told him, absolutely not. I was very hurt because I loved him and I couldn't imagine being just friends with him. After we broke up, he called me and text me the next day and continued to contact me for weeks and I didn't respond. I changed my number and took him off my social network so he would stop contacting me. He then emailed me three months later asking me how I was. I still didn't respond. Then early this month, he emailed me on my social site saying that he missed talking to me. (although we are not friends on that site anymore, he still found a way to contact me). I just now contacted him back after six months and he responded right away saying that he was happy to hear from me and misses me. He also asked why I changed my number, should I be honest and tell him the truth? my reason: I needed space away from him and needed time to get over the break-up. Should I be honest with him and tell him this? I still care about him and now willing to be on talking terms with him again. I am not putting all my faith in the notion of us getting back together, but I don't mind having a casual relationship with him. you are ONE IN A MILLION. most people would never hold up such hardcore NC. i'd say yes, be honest and tell him you have no desire to "be friends" with him. i would leave out any part of being hurt or discouraged about the breakup though. don't give him any emotional ammo. if you truly DON'T want anything more with him, as in, you have no intention of dating at all, then sure, be friends. if you still have feelings, and it still stings, then NO, do not be friends with him. 2
k100danny Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 I'd say if all feelings are gone and you aren;t hoping for anything then being honest with someone can't hurt. I went through a bad break up last year and it was messy, she ended up changing her number then feeling a bit guilty then i didnt reply to her for months. when all feelings like that had gone (i still cared for her but not romantically at all) we chatted about what had happened, both appologised for how it happened and told the truth that we needed time to get over it and maybe didn't act in the most mature way. She is now one of if not my closest friend. 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 The only upside to this is a measure of whether HE wants to be back in your romantic life. Males will either keep you around as a """friend""" they have designs on banging... OR they will show no interest in you. As the woman, you get to determine what you really want (honestly!!!)... and then act accordingly. IF you want f*cking and future romance with him, then you stay connected as "friends". IF you are lying to us about having effectively no interest in getting back together romantically, then just walk away from the guy, forever. 1
dannykeyz831 Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Its hard to be friends with someone who you have only known as a gf or bf. My ex keeps insisting to be friends but I just find that too weird. When you see them, your first instinct is too hug them romantically, kiss them, or hold their hands. You wouldn't be able to do any of that anymore. Even your vocabulary would have to change. Were so used to using pet names for them like babe, sweety, hun, etc...I hardly ever called my ex by her first name and don't plan to either. You would also have to deal with the urge to kiss them or hold them in your arms. Its torture I tell you. You did a great job of going nc for that long but are you ready to have a relationship with him again regardless if you get back together or not. Can you handle being his friend? and would you be able to handle another break if you gave it another shot but didn't work out? 1
Recommended Posts