cecilia0524 Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 I would like to see if anyone can give me ideas what can possibly happened here between me and this guy I started dating for about a month now. 1) We met online, exchanged a huge amount of back and forth messages for about a week then we finally met in person. 2) Our first date lasted 5 hours long. He said that he found that I am fun and refreshing to spend time with. 3) Our following dates #2-5 have been longer up to 10 hours. 4) He owns his own business with 2 partners. 5) We both agree that we are not phone people, texting is best. We text each other everyday to see how each other's day went. 6) Last week it has been stressful for him because of the end of month reconciliation work he had to deal with at work, but we still maintained to keep in touch. 7) He wanted to see me last Wednesday, but I got plans so I asked to change to Friday. He agreed. 8) Friday comes, and he had loads of work to complete by the end of the month. We ended up not meeting. 9) He asked to meet over the weekend, but he ended up oversleeping. Note: We never set a time when exactly to meet, only agreed upon meeting up. 10) Weekend over, Monday comes. I texted him in the morning to wish him a productive work day, he usually would reply, but this time he didn't. 11) Tuesday comes, still haven't heard a word. 12) Today is Wednesday. What is this leading into? I thought we had a good start and all a sudden it just went blank?!
iSUGAR Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 i think you made yourself too available for this guy. It's too easy for him to reach you, i think you should cut contact for now and he'll be back to you. give him space to think! moving too fast, makes people run away! Sit back and relax and he'll be back soon!
henderson14 Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 (edited) He might just be busy with work. Any idea how many hours he is working? Business owners work crazy hours. Give it until the weekend to contact him again. You also said you've been on 5 dates? After 5 dates he just might be losing interest because things aren't progressing. It might not be worth his limited time. If you haven't slept together yet he might not be interested. Edited August 1, 2012 by henderson14
Author cecilia0524 Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 (edited) He might just be busy with work. Any idea how many hours he is working? Business owners work crazy hours. Give it until the weekend to contact him again. You also said you've been on 5 dates? After 5 dates he just might be losing interest because things aren't progressing. It might not be worth his limited time. If you haven't slept together yet he might not be interested. We were actually close to having sex, but we ended up not doing it. He told me he has a lot of respect for me, and he says that good sex will come naturally. Tuesday I texted him something like "Haven't heard from you, hope you are doing good! Would love to hear back from you!" Wednesday he replied something like "Hey xxx. What a rainy day, right? I took the week off. Needed some serious downtime, especially with upcoming travel." He will be out of town for about a week starting next Tuesday. We are actually going to be out of town to the same area around the same time. Before he booked his airline tickets, he actually asked and marked on his calender for the dates I will be there. I responded to his messages telling him how I felt that he has been distanced, and does not like to be ignored, and that I would appreciate honesty. I didn't push for any answers, just wanted to let him know how I have been feeling. Haven't heard back from him yet. Any comments? Edited August 2, 2012 by cecilia0524
henderson14 Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Damn. Sounds like a good guy. I can't believe he turned down sex. Looks like he's interested by changing his flight around. Maybe he just doesnt want to get too involved because of his busy schedule. Is there any sign he will have more free time in the future? I think he's into you, just maybe not crazy about you. You might be just good enough to "keep around." Its hard to say though.
tivoconga Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 We were actually close to having sex, but we ended up not doing it. He told me he has a lot of respect for me, and he says that good sex will come naturally. Tuesday I texted him something like "Haven't heard from you, hope you are doing good! Would love to hear back from you!" Wednesday he replied something like "Hey xxx. What a rainy day, right? I took the week off. Needed some serious downtime, especially with upcoming travel." He will be out of town for about a week starting next Tuesday. We are actually going to be out of town to the same area around the same time. Before he booked his airline tickets, he actually asked and marked on his calender for the dates I will be there. I responded to his messages telling him how I felt that he has been distanced, and does not like to be ignored, and that I would appreciate honesty. I didn't push for any answers, just wanted to let him know how I have been feeling. Haven't heard back from him yet. Any comments? That's tough - he sounds like a good guy, but being non-responsive when he took time off (unless I misread/misinterpretted), is a bit rough - as he clearly wasn't busy with work. Your messages, though, would creep me out a bit, in the sense that they come off as needy. There's no reason to add, "would love to hear back from you" after you gone out 5 times. Similarly, telling him that he seems distant is also a bit premature, given that you've only been on 5 dates. Give him a bit of space, let him figure out his stuff - you need to distance yourself from a few of your comments...if they came off as needy to him (as they did me), prove to him that you aren't needy, by not contacting him for a few days. In situations like this, my follow-up message in a few days usually points toward something amusing/interesting that just happened - ideally something taht connects you (via something in your first few dates) - and then ask him how he's doing. Don't say anything like, "would love to hear from you", as it essentially says he's still got you wrapped around his finger and that he doesn't need to try. If there's something there, things won't fall apart...
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