monkey00 Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 So it kind of dawned on me this morning that when it comes to dating / pursuing there is a double standard. And it's also kind of echoed from my failed pursuits in the past. The usual expectation for a guy when he pursues a girl is for him to be persistent thereby asking her out. Even if she does turn down his advances (due to real unavoidable circumstances or if she's masking excuses) but keeps in touch, she expects him to keep pursuing her. Hopefully the idea is that she'll give in and go out with him. And maybe on the girl's side, she needs some assurance that he finds her a great catch. Or else she fears that if she gives in too easily to accepting every date, that he won't respect her and will take her for granted so she plays a little hard to get. So if he gives up early then he was never worth it to begin with. On the other hand, if a girl is to pursue a guy...she'll try once or maybe twice if you're lucky. She won't ask you out directly. But she might invite you to an event she's going to. If you turn her down, odds are she won't ask you again or lose interest and move on. And if she sees/talks to you again, likely she'll have a wall up and play aloof. I just find it silly that women are more sensitive to being rejected than men are, when men are expected to do all the work. Don't you think? Do women worry a lot about being taken for granted? A lot of times guys get taken for granted but we brush it off and don't make a big fuss over it.
Emilia Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 The usual expectation for a guy when he pursues a girl is for him to be persistent thereby asking her out. Even if she does turn down his advances (due to real unavoidable circumstances or if she's masking excuses) but keeps in touch, she expects him to keep pursuing her. Hopefully the idea is that she'll give in and go out with him. And maybe on the girl's side, she needs some assurance that he finds her a great catch. Or else she fears that if she gives in too easily to accepting every date, that he won't respect her and will take her for granted so she plays a little hard to get. So if he gives up early then he was never worth it to begin with. what sort of women do you date? A no is a no. If I don't want to date someone I don't want him to pursue me. If I want to date someone I say yes. On the other hand, if a girl is to pursue a guy...she'll try once or maybe twice if you're lucky. She won't ask you out directly. But she might invite you to an event she's going to. If you turn her down, odds are she won't ask you again or lose interest and move on. And if she sees/talks to you again, likely she'll have a wall up and play aloof. Completely normal I would have thought. If I make the effort and it's not reciprocated, I walk away. That's healthy, non? I just find it silly that women are more sensitive to being rejected than men are, when men are expected to do all the work. Don't you think? Do women worry a lot about being taken for granted? A lot of times guys get taken for granted but we brush it off and don't make a big fuss over it. Well, the fact that you chase women who say no to you might say a lot about where you are going wrong I'd say.
madjac74 Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 People usually just scream "Double standard" when things aren't going well for them and they feel like society is to blame. I am certain the op's stereotypes of men and womens view on trying to date are something out of the 50's 1
yongyong Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 The best solution? approach women whenever you can. Keep a rotation of several women. (meaning bang them in a rotation) I am kind of going well with PoF right now. I am trying to meet about 4 women next two weeks. If 2 of them flakes out, do I care? How would I feel if I was focusing on just one woman because I felt guilty for going out with multiple women, and then she flakes out??? If I have a faithful woman who contacts me everyday and meet me several times a week, I will have a no desire to log on to PoF. If I can see her maybe only once a week by setting an Appointment in advance, I would feel like I need more girls to fill up my spare time and not to feel bad about future flakes. Obviously, I am going to play like I am only meeting one woman at a time. I don't think it's morally wrong at all.
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