Dblock10 Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 i don't want to be my ex's ex. I was with my ex one night at the beginning of our relationship and she was in touch with her ex as he was phoning her for what ever reason (something to do with him being at a reunion and was asking if she was there) anyway i got her phone and he txt saying something like, hey "s" i see your with someone new now, obviously i don't want to see that... and well yeah, i don't want to be him, i don't want to see her with someone new we have been nc for 4 weeks now. she is in another country and i have suspicions she might be dating someone. she is on my fb and i have hidden updates etc, so if she posts something i won't see it etc. but yeah the more time that passes the more you think something is happening. I know its not my business but i sometimes can't stop thinking about "that feeling" when i find out either now or later
YorickBrown Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 I know how you feel D, it sucks. I mean, I've been on NC for awhile now and time does heal us a bit. I've actually met and spoke with my ex current "boytoy" early on in the BU. I was civil enough at that time, all things considered...actually, I couldnt summon enough anger....strangely enough, I felt sorry for the guy, I felt he wasnt even in my league (puhlease, it was just adding insult to injury)...plus the fact that I've realized how much of a desperate "user" my ex-gf was and they probably deserve one another. And, I eventually accepted that it just wasn't worth my time or effort anymore to pursue her or initiate any sort of vengeance (it took a lot of self-control, sermons from family members and prayers) and I could think of several nasty ones involving FB (which is why I unfriended her immediately, lest I be tempted) You're in fact lucky that she had moved away to another country, at least you won't bump into each other. I myself, am somewhat lucky that I can put some distance between us, it certainly helps with the any awkward encounters. Although, I may need to go back there from time to time for unfinished business...sheeeesshhh...it sucks:sick: but what you gonna do:( 1
Sameold Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Why stay friends? Even on fb why stay friends? You need her completely out of your life. The truth is that she will at least be messaging other guys, sounding them out and seeing how she feels. It's what you should be doing. I'm about to post a new thread about my BU, read it and then think about what you should do.
barese1 Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 I agree with sameold, there really is no point being friends - even on facebook. I remember when I was with my ex, her ex was always ringing and texting and she didn't want anything to do with him and didn't really care. Thats why I am out of her life completely because I don't want her saying the same to some new guy she is probably with
Author Dblock10 Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 yorik i hear you, although at least you can feel like he isnt in your league so to speak... i have no idea what my ex is up to or who she is seeing. all i know is i didnt reply to her on fb 4 weeks ago. i guess it is lucky i wont bump into her, problem is if she had stayed here then i am sure we would have had something going on, reconciliation and potentially being back in a relationship together it wouldnt bother me as much to stay in touch, but because she is in foreign land i just dont want to hear all the amazing things shes doing and who shes doing them with, id get jealous and think all kinds of things, probably start accusing her and then looking really insecure and become the jealous ex...nah ah, not gonna happen. one thing she did say though which i thought was ****ty, was that she said seeing me again did not change anything and didn't make her want to be back together. yet the week before she was saying how she had missed me and still had feelings and cares about me. its hard to accept but i guess she just isnt who i wanted her to be. things have changed now, i really need to forget it and find someone else. but i wont be looking as i have kinda given up looking, always leads to disappointment. @sameold i am currently back home so not much going on i'm afraid apart from uni work that i need to focus on. Thing is, its so much easier being a pretty girl, the amount of guys hitting on you would be insane plus she has an english accent so out there she would be hit on twice as much. I don't have the time or energy to be hitting on girls, i just cant be bothered. and its not like they will be hitting on me so i'll probably stay single for a long time until i can focus on my life outside of study. yes ive met one new girl at my gym but thats probably more a friendship thing. not sure yet. going for a drink with her soon.
Sameold Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Well I am English and it doesn't get me far! haha Dude you need to employ total NC to get to a position where you're not bothered about what she is doing nor who with. As for Uni work, work your arse off mate. Those grades will be with you for the rest of your life. When I graduated I had just started seeing my ex and I told her I wouldn't even see her for 3 weeks due to finals. Crazy isn't it? I chose to not see this girl to study...Well it worked as I got 1st class honours So if you ever do catch up with your ex or her friend and they ask how you got on at Uni do you want to say you flunked as you spent too long obsessing about her even though she's in another country? Or are you this ambitious hungry guy that nailed his finals? I know what I'd prefer and who most decent girls would be with. It isn't about finding someone else now. Do you have a good group of friends? Do stuff with them, even if you wouldn't normally. You need to forget this girl man, it has gone on too long. I believe in you. Block her on fb!
Author Dblock10 Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 so right. might block her when i start back at uni so that it doesn't get in the way at all. im pretty dedicated though. and i really do want to try very hard this year. its my last and it counts. i did good on my second year despite having a very hard time in life. so if i can do well this year then thats all that matters to me.
Sameold Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Good attitude! In essence make everything you do productive. Before you go to bed think "what did I do today that was productive?". Did you go to the gym? tick Do some weights at home? tick Eat really well and not from packets? tick Develop a strategy for nailing your uni work? tick End up on fb waiting until you go back to uni seeing if some pic of this girl in a bikini comes up in Thailand with some guy with her and comments saying "had a great time babe, looking forward to later ;)" Nononononononononon. NO! Stop putting this off and go complete NC now! You are better than a subdued stalker!
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