mearl20 Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 I was on facebook, looking at people's profiles and I went to a guy I've been talking to's page. His first status was posted by his aunt saying how much she loves him and to all the ladies out there he is currently single. He shared her status on his facebook wall too. This kind of made me sad and hurt. He had been texting me since January, even the four months when I was away at school. We have been out together and he practically acted like we were dating and was so sweet, yet he never talked about us being official or exclusive. Last month he stopped talking to me and I was extremely hurt, cried a lot and just tried to move on. Finally a month later (a week ago), he texted me apologizing a lot and I kept telling him I wasn't sure if he really liked me, etc. Then he basically told me over and over how much he likes me. He told me I'm the best girl he's ever met and how down to earth I am and how much he respects me. But then he also told me he doesn't know why I care about him so much when I could have so many other guys. What he meant by that is that doesn't mess around and didn't want to waste my time (he told me this). I'm just so confused, idk if he really does like me or is using me for an ego boost or what. I know it's just a silly facebook post but it still hurt, I guess it seems to me like that post means he's still looking for other girls. What do you guys think? How can you tell if a guy really is serious about you?
artchick88 Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Ask him if he wants to be exclusive and you'll have your answer.
Author mearl20 Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 Don't most guys run from that conversation?
TLY22 Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 I was on facebook, looking at people's profiles and I went to a guy I've been talking to's page. His first status was posted by his aunt saying how much she loves him and to all the ladies out there he is currently single. He shared her status on his facebook wall too. This kind of made me sad and hurt. He had been texting me since January, even the four months when I was away at school. We have been out together and he practically acted like we were dating and was so sweet, yet he never talked about us being official or exclusive. Last month he stopped talking to me and I was extremely hurt, cried a lot and just tried to move on. Finally a month later (a week ago), he texted me apologizing a lot and I kept telling him I wasn't sure if he really liked me, etc. Then he basically told me over and over how much he likes me. He told me I'm the best girl he's ever met and how down to earth I am and how much he respects me. But then he also told me he doesn't know why I care about him so much when I could have so many other guys. What he meant by that is that doesn't mess around and didn't want to waste my time (he told me this). I'm just so confused, idk if he really does like me or is using me for an ego boost or what. I know it's just a silly facebook post but it still hurt, I guess it seems to me like that post means he's still looking for other girls. What do you guys think? How can you tell if a guy really is serious about you? You can just tell when someone is serious about you, and when someone is just having a good time. You said you two have only just been 'talking'. Does this talking also mean dating, kissing, anything else? If it's just talking, then you're getting upset over nothing. Have the talk with him (if it's moving in that direction). What are you two actually doing? Don't most guys run from that conversation? They do if you ask within the first few weeks of talking to each other.
Author mearl20 Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 No we've been talking since January but we have seen each other many times when I was in town from school. We would go out and he would pay wherever we went, we sometimes went to his apartment, watched movies and cuddled and made out. And only once I spent the night but we only cuddled and made out as usual. When I did spend the night, he kept telling me how much he liked me and he cuddled with me the whole night, never turned over. When we went out places he acted kind of like we were already dating, always holding my hand, would pay for me. Once we went to a club and we seperated for a few minutes, some guys came up and talked to my friend and I and then he came up immediately after looking a little jealous and protective (not horribly though). He was so sweet, even helping me find things in my purse/car or holding something for me, haha. I guess I never knew where I stood with him ever. We talked for about 6 months straight, stopped for a month and now, as of a week ago, have been talking to each other again. Would it scare him away if I asked now?
Author mearl20 Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 We've kissed and made out a lot, even in public and in front of some of his friends. But we haven't had sex, when it was going further, I stopped it and he seemed ok with it. I just wasn't ready since we didn't see each other on a regular basis. A lot of people tell me that's my problem, but yet he still talks to me even when I tell him I don't want to yet.
Eclypse Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 (edited) Ok then I think you should have "the talk" with him. If he's cool with making a public statement by acting like your boyfriend while out, this should be no problem. I wouldn't be freaked out if a girl had this conversation with me. Edited August 1, 2012 by Eclypse
Author mearl20 Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 So he won't be freaked out by it? He did tell me a couple days ago that when he comes back in town he want's to tell me something in person. He said that part of it was not being able to see each other for more than a few months at a time, but he still wanted to keep in touch and that he likes me so much. But idk if I should bring that up or not. I guess I can wait to see what he wants to say first
veggirl Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Personally I'd ditch him. No guy who thinks you're the "best girl he's ever met" is gonna go a month without talking to you. But if you are still interested for some reason, then see what he has to say and then tell him you want to be exclusively in a relationship. If it "scares" him, then he's not interested and you have your answer. Anything other than "yes that sounds great, I want that too" means you should walk.
udolipixie Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 In my opinion you never know a guy is serious about you or if he is looking because he can be lying so for me a guy saying he's serious means absolutely nothing. In your case I think he's probably not serious about you since he's announcing he's single and you guys haven't talked about being official or exclusive.
jgregory4614 Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 I'm a guy and four months is long enough to decide if both of you are serious. If he hasn't called you in the past month, that means he's using you as a plan B. I dont want to scare you but it sounds like he could be envolved with an ex or something of that nature. I know because I've done what he's doing now. You just don't lose contact with someone for a month that your emotionally involved with. I'm really curious to what he has to say to you. The way he is acting towards you with this whole relationship, you shouldn't ask him if he is serious about being with you. He's not serious. He hasn't called you in a month. If you ask him, he will lie about it. He seems a little to shady to me. Keep us updated. Let us know what he told you.
Author mearl20 Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 Yeah I mean for the first 6, he was great and so sweet to me. People who were mutual friends told me he was head over heels in love with me. Then I think it faded away, he moved to another state, never told me until now. I also think his home life isn't great and he's always moving around-he told me the only reason his old girlfriend from a few years back and him broke up was because he moved to another state to help family out. Whenever we saw each other though I remember him telling me also that he feels like the relationship is one sided (him liking me more than I like him). For awhile it was, for the first couple months, I was never sure about him. He texted me every day and every night, literally. There was never a day missed, which made me wonder about it and consider not talking to him. Then he grew on me and now I feel like it's the other way around. I guess sometimes I get mixed feelings about him. I used to be so sure he liked me, now I wonder what his motives are but that could be me overthinking things as usual. The reason I haven't had sex with him is because, yes, I'm an innocent girl with basically no experience whatsoever and I don't want it to turn out like every other situation out there, where they sleep together, then one peaces. I'm not an open person and takes awhile for me to trust anyone. But yes I will tell you, I'm seeing him this week.
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