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when a parent gets involved in a fight u had & tell him to BU w/ you

SoConfusedAndInShock

By SoConfusedAndInShock
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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SoConfusedAndInShock Established Member

SoConfusedAndInShock

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I'm hearing a lot of stories from friends that when me and him had the big fight the night before our BU he had told his mom about it. But later that night he came over at 1am apologized and said lets take things slow but only to change his mind the next day. im guessing his mom had something to do with our BU. im so pissed off that im finding this out now. a month later.

 

he had such a hard time breaking up with me. as if he didnt want to do it. and even after the BU he called the next couple of days day and night like nothing happened until i just implied NC. he was going out of his was to tell me how much he loves and cares about me...but now its all making sense, i mean if his mom had to do something with it.

 

in the BU speech he even said he wanted to spend some more time with her (his mom) and please her but i didnt think of it in a bad way. WTH?!!! she was so nice to me all the time and even texted each other one whole morning few days after the break up caz i helped her with something that has to do with him.

 

omg this is crazy if this is true.!! i was lead to believe that he wanted space and needed time so he can focus on his life for now. I also hear hes got a new girl so wtf?!! im just so blown right now..... it all makes sense he hasn't made an attempt to contact me but we've both deleted our fb and he did that after i deleted mine. :(

 

BU = 5 weeks

NC = 4 weeks

 

DOES THIS MEAN IF A PARENT OR FRIENDS KIND OF HYPED THE DUMPER TO BU WITH YOU THERE IS NO CHANCE IN THE FUTURE FOR RECONCILIATION???

 

thats just so cruel if shes the reason we're not together.

Edited by SoConfusedAndInShock
KatZee Established Member

KatZee

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If his mother IS the reason for you guys not being together, then you need to see your ex for what he is. A mommy's boy. You want a guy who can think for himself. Not a guy who's going to do whatever mommy says. One of my friends just got dumped by her fiance because of his mother, I can tell you that it's NOT a situation you want to be in. She tried desperately to get her ex to stand up to his mother, to have him defend her to his mother, and nothing happened... except he listened to mom and everything she wanted him to do. She dodged a huge bullet, and so did you if this is the case.

lemonlime Established Member

lemonlime

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Oh boy. I've been there. And I was soo angry, I cant even now really put it into words. He broke up with me. After his mom and friends said something to him. It ended when we were supposed to meet up and he said he couldnt, he just wasnt excited to see me at all.

 

Anyway, 3 months pass, and I keep telling myself that I deserve someone thats gonna wanna see me, and stand up for me against his friends and family. That I need someone strong enough to do that.

 

Long story short, I emailed him, we met up. And we did get back together. That was 9 months ago. I made it very clear though that I expected him to make sure he never let someone else convince him of anything when it comes to us. He didnt tell his friends or family until we knew for sure, and then he said this is what im doing, its going well, thats how it is.

 

Its clear now that we are going through something else he took it to heart too, because he doesnt say anything about me to them that would make them say something as we try to work things out.

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SoConfusedAndInShock Established Member

SoConfusedAndInShock

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If his mother IS the reason for you guys not being together, then you need to see your ex for what he is. A mommy's boy.

 

 

thank you so much Kat...that pretty much says it all i guess. Here i am hoping this nightmare would just end, but this just hit me like a train.

 

 

Oh boy. I've been there. And I was soo angry, I cant even now really put it into words. He broke up with me. After his mom and friends said something to him. It ended when we were supposed to meet up and he said he couldnt, he just wasnt excited to see me at all.

 

Anyway, 3 months pass, and I keep telling myself that I deserve someone thats gonna wanna see me, and stand up for me against his friends and family. That I need someone strong enough to do that.

 

Long story short, I emailed him, we met up. And we did get back together. That was 9 months ago. I made it very clear though that I expected him to make sure he never let someone else convince him of anything when it comes to us. He didnt tell his friends or family until we knew for sure, and then he said this is what im doing, its going well, thats how it is.

 

Its clear now that we are going through something else he took it to heart too, because he doesnt say anything about me to them that would make them say something as we try to work things out.

 

lemonlime : Its so good to hear from someone who went through the same thing. i want a second chance with him and that's all I've been praying for honestly. for him to stop listening to his friends and his mom. i just want him to wake up and realize hes a grown man and needs to make his own decisions. if he does come around it will be a miracle!!! I wrote a letter but i just think its to soon to send it (i don't want it to be out of emotions) so its probably best to wait until everything is calm...but at the same time im scared when i do find the guts to give it to him it might be to late.

 

my question for you is : how long did you wait to send the email to him? Did you take the time to initiate NC to heal? How long after the BU did you get back together?

steveblack Established Member

steveblack

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Do you want a partner that can't think or make decisions for themselves?

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SoConfusedAndInShock Established Member

SoConfusedAndInShock

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Steveblack, NOT AT ALL. i keep telling myself maybe its because we're both just young. but still, 19 is still a freakin adult. we both have a mature mind, well at least speaking for myself.

Pod81 Established Member

Pod81

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If I were you, I'd tell your friends not to report anything to you about the ex. Although they mean well, they should know that any information that gets passed along to will ONLY set you back during this process of healing.

Samilia Established Member

Samilia

Posted
Posted
I'm hearing a lot of stories from friends that when me and him had the big fight the night before our BU he had told his mom about it. But later that night he came over at 1am apologized and said lets take things slow but only to change his mind the next day. im guessing his mom had something to do with our BU. im so pissed off that im finding this out now. a month later.

 

he had such a hard time breaking up with me. as if he didnt want to do it. and even after the BU he called the next couple of days day and night like nothing happened until i just implied NC. he was going out of his was to tell me how much he loves and cares about me...but now its all making sense, i mean if his mom had to do something with it.

 

in the BU speech he even said he wanted to spend some more time with her (his mom) and please her but i didnt think of it in a bad way. WTH?!!! she was so nice to me all the time and even texted each other one whole morning few days after the break up caz i helped her with something that has to do with him.

 

omg this is crazy if this is true.!! i was lead to believe that he wanted space and needed time so he can focus on his life for now. I also hear hes got a new girl so wtf?!! im just so blown right now..... it all makes sense he hasn't made an attempt to contact me but we've both deleted our fb and he did that after i deleted mine. :(

 

BU = 5 weeks

NC = 4 weeks

 

DOES THIS MEAN IF A PARENT OR FRIENDS KIND OF HYPED THE DUMPER TO BU WITH YOU THERE IS NO CHANCE IN THE FUTURE FOR RECONCILIATION???

 

thats just so cruel if shes the reason we're not together.

 

Well.. I'm a bunch of years older than you are, I do ask my mom for advice still. It can be about work, it can be about love. I trust her judgement. However, she won't "make me" do anything, she will help me take a decision.

 

You guys are younger, he might have given in just to preserve the peace and didn't want any aggravations. But like I said, I don't believe his mom could "make him" do what he doesn't want to do. 19 makes you a "legal" adult, but it doesn't make him a full adult yet. Nothing wrong with that by the way.

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SoConfusedAndInShock Established Member

SoConfusedAndInShock

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Thank you all for the honest and helpful replies!

 

TBH other than my ex himself, only God knows the true reasons behind his decision to end things as i'm still baffled by all that took place 5 weeks ago. So for now i can only focus on me and hope it gets resolved in time. NC must go on as i have no control over things until he reaches someday.

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