MrNate 2.0 Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Said the virgin Your belief is your belief.. You knew another excuse was coming, Smile. Just grab some popcorn. This is going to be fun.
ptp Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 What's so admirable about someone (male or female) who can't keep it in their pants? I don't see any reason why casual sex should be looked at as anything other than a negative. Sorry OP. I feel where you're coming from but I can't condone it. Why? What is wrong with casual sex? I believe we are undersexed society as it is. Freaking Puritans and their conservative values. Kind of an ad hominem attack isn't it? Just because I'm a loser doesn't mean my opinion doesn't matter. I didn't die without sex neither will anyone else. I am pretty sure I will, I might have to end it if I couldn't have sex again.
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Why? What is wrong with casual sex? I believe we are undersexed society as it is. Freaking Puritans and their conservative values. Because casual sex is nothing more than masturbation. Cold and calculated. Sleeping with someone you don't care about is so boring.
MrNate 2.0 Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Is there a checklist somewhere about what exactly constitutes a "slut"? I can't believe people still use that word. I agree. 'Slut' is a pretty ****** up word. Eleanor, what you're witnessing is these guys running out of excuses. So naturally, someone has to be blamed. Now they're going to attack the girl. Instead of being inspired to better themselves or improve on anything..once again, here come the excuses and complaints. 3
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I agree. 'Slut' is a pretty ****** up word. Eleanor, what you're witnessing is these guys running out of excuses. So naturally, someone has to be blamed. Now they're going to attack the girl. Instead of being inspired to better themselves or improve on anything..once again, here come the excuses and complaints. Whoa whoa whoa. Who's blaming the girl? OP is just as responsible for the sex that happened as the girl is (though IIRC she propositioned him, though perhaps I'm wrong on that). Doesn't make either of them "bad people" just makes the actions something that I don't agree with. And really, self improvement and making yourself better is very overrated on these boards and in the wider world in general.
ptp Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Because casual sex is nothing more than masturbation. Cold and calculated. Sleeping with someone you don't care about is so boring. Sex is only cold and calculated if there is money exchanging hands. Sex is a natural part of being a human. You think there wasn't a lot of casual sex going on prehistoric society?
SmileFace Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Because casual sex is nothing more than masturbation. Cold and calculated. Sleeping with someone you don't care about is so boring. Said the virgin This has nothing to do with being a virgin or a "loser" as you describe yourself. However if you don't think sex before marriage is ok, that is great but stop pushing you belief on others. However if you only think it is bad since you haven't found the chance, you are just being bitter. Then what is the point? 2
Author ThaWholigan Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 Because casual sex is nothing more than masturbation. Cold and calculated. Sleeping with someone you don't care about is so boring. There was nothing cold and calculated (or boring) about what happened today, I assure you . Still, if you feel that way about casual encounters, I'm not going to argue, it's a subjective thing at the end of the day.
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Said the virgin This has nothing to do with being a virgin or a "loser" as you describe yourself. However if you don't think sex before marriage is ok, that is great but stop pushing you belief on others. However if you only think it is bad since you haven't found the chance, you are just being bitter. Then what is the point? I never said "no sex until marriage". Never. Not once. You can go through my entire post history if you wish to verify that. Casual sex is sex that has no strings at all attached. Mostly meaning that you don't intend to pursue anything more than just sex with that person. I suppose in theory that could gradually transition into a relationship (though that's rare) but sex really should be in the context of a relationship or some kind of interaction that seeks to eventually get there. I'm not forcing anything on anyone. I'm not going to head to the UK and make OP cease contact with this person. I'm just expressing my thoughts on it. Perhaps I'm just whistling dixie though. :)
SmileFace Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I never said "no sex until marriage". Never. Not once. You can go through my entire post history if you wish to verify that. Casual sex is sex that has no strings at all attached. Mostly meaning that you don't intend to pursue anything more than just sex with that person. I suppose in theory that could gradually transition into a relationship (though that's rare) but sex really should be in the context of a relationship or some kind of interaction that seeks to eventually get there. I'm not forcing anything on anyone. I'm not going to head to the UK and make OP cease contact with this person. I'm just expressing my thoughts on it. Perhaps I'm just whistling dixie though. :) I didn't say you said that - I personally don't know your post history. However since you know when sex should happen between people - you must be right. Not that I really understand how your differentiate casual sex and any type of sex before marriage but whatever.
Author ThaWholigan Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 I agree. 'Slut' is a pretty ****** up word. Eleanor, what you're witnessing is these guys running out of excuses. So naturally, someone has to be blamed. Now they're going to attack the girl. Instead of being inspired to better themselves or improve on anything..once again, here come the excuses and complaints. Excluding the fact that she messaged me first, it's not like she just came and said "wanna f*ck", she IMed me first and we got into a conversation. About a couple hours down the line, it turned sexual quite quickly. That wasn't an accident, she laid it up and I knocked it down. It takes a certain amount of verbal ability to be able to do it, and one can cultivate it, especially online. If I couldn't do it, I wouldn't have met her on the same day. Also, meeting her the first time, it was important that I was physical, I wasn't afraid to touch her. All those little variables. Even if you're going slow and establishing chemistry without sex, and forging a deeper intimacy, elements of what I have done are going to apply to an extent - just not as crude and upfront as I have been with this girl. But at a more measured pace.
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 I didn't say you said that - I personally don't know your post history. However since you know when sex should happen between people - you must be right. Not that I really understand how your differentiate casual sex and any type of sex before marriage but whatever. Casual sex example: girl meets guy at a party. They have sex and never see each other again. Another example: guy meets girl. They hook up after date 2 but realize they have nothing in common and don't want anything to do with each other except having sex. Non-casual sex example: guy meets girl. They go on a few dates (let's say 5 for the purposes of this discussion) and they decide they like each other and also decide to have sex. They are pursuing a relationship with each other that includes sex. Though sex is not the entire purpose of their interactions. Maybe they get married, maybe they break up in six months, I don't know. Do you understand the difference now?
SmileFace Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Casual sex example: girl meets guy at a party. They have sex and never see each other again. Another example: guy meets girl. They hook up after date 2 but realize they have nothing in common and don't want anything to do with each other except having sex. Non-casual sex example: guy meets girl. They go on a few dates (let's say 5 for the purposes of this discussion) and they decide they like each other and also decide to have sex. They are pursuing a relationship with each other that includes sex. Though sex is not the entire purpose of their interactions. Maybe they get married, maybe they break up in six months, I don't know. Do you understand the difference now? No, I don't understand how the difference between these situations make any difference. Not how they are different from each other.
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 No, I don't understand how the difference between these situations make any difference. Not how they are different from each other. Fair enough.
Ruby Slippers Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Is there a checklist somewhere about what exactly constitutes a "slut"? I can't believe people still use that word. Yeah, it's kind of like the "N" word. When you hear it, it tells you a lot about the person saying it. 2
MrCastle Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Yeah, it's kind of like the "N" word. When you hear it, it tells you a lot about the person saying it. Ehh, it's not quite the N word.
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 So you are a woman. Do you act like this too? if you can proudly say yes, then I will listen to your opinion. If not, you know it's such a B.S? Oh, goodness. Listen, little fellow. I have more knowledge and insight about men, women, love and sex to share than you will ever garner if you live to be 150 years old, if your posts are not a joke, or unless you have some kind of Earth shattering epiphany. I can PROUDLY say that if I do something, I do not judge other people who do it too differently than I judge myself because they might be a different gender, race, age, height or whatever from me. If y'all want to thing that Wholigan is a skank because he got deflowered by a girl who gets around, and you also think she is a skank, that's one thing. Being all "Go, Wholigan" to him and "she's a slut" about her makes you look depressingly ignorant. 2
veggirl Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Wait now 49 is being blasted and called a virgin in a clearly disparaging way....yeah I'm lost. Virgin can be used as an insult if you disagee with someone's words or actions then. Lol 1
kaylan Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Yeah, it's kind of like the "N" word. When you hear it, it tells you a lot about the person saying it. You cant be serious? I really hope you arent white, because if you are...this gives me another example of how out of touch some white people are when it comes to certain things regarding race. Because I only ever hear this kind of stuff from white people tbh. To compare a racial slur to a word that derides someones sexual behavior, is just....wow. smh 2
It's Just Me Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 Just put him on ignore, the little weeny troll.
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 To compare a racial slur to a word that derides someones sexual behavior, is just....wow. smh Says you. I think that derogatory terms that describe a person's race, sexuality, gender, etc. are all comparable. And people who use them (unless they are being playful) are bottom feeders. 3
kaylan Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 (edited) Says you. I think that derogatory terms that describe a person's race, sexuality, gender, etc. are all comparable. And people who use them (unless they are being playful) are bottom feeders. In what way is slut comparable to a racial slur like n*gger, k!ke, or gook? Can you change your race like you can change sexual behavior? Can you keep your race to yourself the way you can keep your sexual history to yourself? Have slutty people faced the same trials and tribulations as those whove faced racism, sexism, and homophobia? I think not. Again, only from the mouths of non minorities do you hear such arguments about all bad words being the same. If someone called me a slut for sleeping around, it wouldnt bother me like if someone called me n*gger or c00n. So please just stop. Of course someone whos never had themselves called a slur with an intrinsically hateful history (that goes back hundreds of years) could say "all bad words are the same". I guess when someone calls me a jack ass, I can call them a wetback or a feminazi cvnt right? Its all the same right? I guess faggot is the same as slut right? Slut crosses gender, sexual orientation, and culture. Racial slurs, cultural slurs, and homophobic slurs have a specific target. To call all bad words the same is really silly and shows what you havent been through yourself. Edited August 2, 2012 by kaylan 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 (edited) In what way is slut comparable to a racial slur like n*gger, k!ke, or gook? Can you change your race like you can change sexual behavior? Again, only from the mouths on non minorities do you hear such bs arguments. If someone called me a slut for sleeping around, it wouldnt bother me like if someone called me n*gger or c00n. So please just stop. Well, I have been on the receiving end of "kike" and I think that I would hate being called a "slut" more. And don't even get me started on "faggot." With respect, it's a rare guy who understands the deeply demeaning connotations of "slut" to a woman. And since you believe that a non-black person can't understand what the n word means to a black person, I suppose you probably believe that YOU can't understand what being called a "slut" would mean to a woman. Listen. I understand that you can change your sexual behavior and you can't change your race. But as long as there are guys willing to happily screw women they don't care about, like you, Kaylan, and it's all good, then I think it NEEDS to be equally good for a woman to behave the same way without being denigrated for it. Have slutty people faced the same trials and tribulations as those whove faced racism, sexism, and homophobia? I think not. In the context here, referring to her as a "slut" IS sexist. Somebody on this thread earlier described the woman we're talking about as "sex positive." What's wrong with that? Nothing. Edited August 2, 2012 by Mme. Chaucer
eleanorhurting Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 its all fun and games until someone brings up the N word! I'm with M.C. Slut is not something that describes someone's sexual behavior. It is a derogatory way of saying you do not agree with the way someone practices their sexuality. And to me all derogatory terms are bad and speak volumes of the person that uses them. There is not one that is worse that another. And no, I am not white. 1
kaylan Posted August 2, 2012 Posted August 2, 2012 (edited) The thing is, the word slut does not have the same history of oppression behind it that racial slurs have. And you cannot hide your race either. So please do not be ignorant and compare the two classes of words. You can hide "slutty" behavior, but you cannot hide your race. Im sorry, its not that sex positive when you message random guys on OKC and try to have sex with them the first meeting and call yourself a slut in the process and tell him about gang bangs. Sexually risky and unsafe is more like it...sex positive? hardly. Id denigrate a guy the same way and call him slutty or a man whore....last I checked people use the term for both genders. And last I checked women have derided skanky men on this forum, yet the only time people get in a tizzy about words used to describe promiscuous behavior, is when the words are used in reference to a woman. Im sorry, but this girl in particular needs no saviour with the way she portrays herself anyways. Edited August 2, 2012 by kaylan 1
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