IHaveNoWords Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 I've been friends with this guy for about three or four years, or so. Not super close, but we would talk when we saw each other at the same parties or gatherings. My mom was really good friends with his mom when they were younger, before I was even born, so that's how we know each other. Not gonna lie - I liked him the day I met him. He's not even exactly my type... I like tall, dark, handsome...and he's on the shorter side, a little bit stocky, and not all that cute (but not ugly.) He's just SO funny, and witty, and a genuinely sweet guy. I know that he'd be an incredible boyfriend. I broke up with my ex about two and a half months ago - I texted my friend the night it happened, and said that I really could use a friend. He was awesome. So helpful, distracted me, kept my mind occupied, and really made my night awesome. After that, we started talking more than we ever had. Every few days, or less, he'll text me about music or even ask if I want to hang out (Every time I've had to work though =/) And when I do see him, I try not to stare or watch him, because I really cherish his friendship and don't want him to find out, and make it awkward. That would kill me. But I did look up at him randomly, and he was staring right at me, just watching. I sound like I'm a teenager again, but I thought that could mean something... He will text me, asking how I am or what's going on, randomly. But when I respond, and ask how he's doing, he doesn't respond. Which leads me to think that there's no interest. This happens all the time. He texts me, I respond, he drops off. A day or two will go by, and it happens again. I don't want to just not respond to him - he's my friend - but I also don't want to be playing games, either.... I've talked to all my girlfriends about it, and they're all stumped, they can't figure it out either. Does it sound like he could be interested? Or he just enjoys my friendship/company? If anyone has any ideas, or had a similar experience, any advice/opinions would be awesome. Thanks, and sorry for the lengthly post...
MCMLXXXIX Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 My guess is that he could very well be interested. What do you know about his dating history? Was he ever in a relationship? Is he too shy to make the first steps? What you need to be aware of is that if you two start "dating", it is unlikely that you'll ever be friends in the same way you are now. It may be worth it. Did you ever told him you liked him? Start with that and try to see if he wants you as a friend or perhaps more than a friend.
BellaMarieOC Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Sounds like he could be interested but maybe thinks that you've completely friendzoned him and isn't even trying to be more than friends because he thinks it's not something you want. I say you need to just be honest with him about how you feel. Ask him out on a date and see what happens. If he says yes, he's interested, if he says no, then you know your answer.
Author IHaveNoWords Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 MCMLXXXIX - His dating history is pretty standard. Dated this one girl a few years back - I never met her, although a mutual friend said that she was...bizarre. Anyway, they almost got back together back when I started dating my ex, last year, but that never happened for whatever reason. Then he dated someone else for a couple months, and broke it off. I asked him a couple months back if he was interested in anyone, and he said that he'd love to be in a relationship again but that it wouldn't be fair to the person because he wasn't ready - which I give the guy a lot of credit for. It takes a lot to realize that about yourself and be fair to the other person. I don't think he'd be too shy. He's super honest and pretty open about stuff. I highly doubt that he's waiting for me to make some sort of move...plus, that's not really my style. I won't ask him out, simply because I was raised that the boy is the pursuer, and also because if he said no, I'd be mortified. Oh my god would that be brutal. BellaMarie - I think he may have friend zoned ME, haha. But this is all due to lack of conversation...it's not exactly something I can come out and talk to him about. I mean, I could, but I won't...I really don't want to lose his friendship. He means a lot to me. I just don't want to risk it. And maybe in the end, it'll be my loss, but we'll see...
MCMLXXXIX Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 I agree with you that the boy should ask the girl. Lots of things could make it difficult for you two. It's true, he may only think of you as a friend. But he may also be into you yet also afraid to lose a friend. Maybe he's still not ready to date anyone. Do you give him hints like suggest romantic outings and stuff? Could he pick up on such cues?
BellaMarieOC Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 BellaMarie - I think he may have friend zoned ME, haha. But this is all due to lack of conversation...it's not exactly something I can come out and talk to him about. I mean, I could, but I won't...I really don't want to lose his friendship. He means a lot to me. I just don't want to risk it. And maybe in the end, it'll be my loss, but we'll see... Well, if he has friendzoned you and you refuse to be honest with him about how you feel then yes, it'll be your loss. I disagree that males always have to be the ones to ask females out and be the first to make a move. I have been in plenty of situations where I've asked a guy out and they were extremely happy about it because they thought I wasn't interested.
Chunky Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Before my girlfriend and I would get together, she would touch my hands or shoulders or give me a pat on the tummy. That led to hand holding then hugging. A few months back it turned into kissing and now she's my girlfriend. I actually kissed her first but I wouldn't of had the nerve to had she not touched me or anything. I was afraid. Maybe this guy is too.
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