weallfalldown Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 i was chattin with a mate the other day about blokes that get hurt in relationships. Well his answer was, someone has to pay for it, meaning **** it i've been ****ed over by a woman, now other women are going to pay. I've seen this so many times now......call it what you want, but it seems very commonplace.....this is where the victim becomes the player!....or user
barese1 Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 This is pretty much what's happening to me. I guess we're just victims of circumstance. If we'd of met the right people it would have just let our niceness and decentness blossom, if we met the wrong ones then it crushes that. I hate to say it but I know that I will no doubt be a di&k to the future women in my life but hey, every guy I know who does that receives nothing but love from women so clearly nice guys finish last.
KatZee Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 What is the point of doing this? Do you honestly feel better about yourself-- treating others the way you were treated? Think back to how much pain you were in... to inflict that pain on others just because YOU'RE hurting is some real crappy behavior and you should probably seek some sort of therapy. It's no one else's fault that your ex treated you the way he/she did, and no one else should have to pay for the garbage you carry inside your head. I would NEVER treat anyone the way my ex treated me, NEVER. I couldn't do it. I would feel like the biggest piece of sh*t alive. I'm a good person. Despite what's happened to me, I'm STILL a good person. Why should anyone stoop down to the level of the ex? What do they say about this? Two wrongs don't make a right? If you're in the mindset that other people must "pay" for your misfortune, PLEASE do everyone a favor and stay the hell out of relationships. There are enough as*holes on this planet, and we don't need any more. Especially if you're doing it INTENTIONALLY. For real... get over yourself. You're not the first to be burned and hurt. And you're not the last. Nor is this the last time you PERSONALLY will be hurt.
todreaminblue Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 i was chattin with a mate the other day about blokes that get hurt in relationships. Well his answer was, someone has to pay for it, meaning **** it i've been ****ed over by a woman, now other women are going to pay. I've seen this so many times now......call it what you want, but it seems very commonplace.....this is where the victim becomes the player!....or user So if that is the case why would he continue to date? ahhhhhh I see cause some else misery ......that doesnt make a lot of sense its not logicalllllllllllllllllll.....make someone else feel like crap is a temporary fix....finding a love that puts a bounce in your step I would say is priceless revenge because now this is logic the person achieved happiness not bitterness...see i can do this logic crap its easssssy.lllamallamallamaduck....ahem sorry I coughed and it came out....focus/////ahhhhhh yes logic.........deb
KatZee Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 I haven't treated a single woman like a human being in the last decade, at some point it just clicked that women will never treat you with as much kindness, respect and even reverence than they did their abusive ******* alcoholic ex. It has been very rewarding so far. It's your disgusting behavior that attracts the wrong women to you. Look up the laws of attraction. I'm sure you're really proud of yourself... but tell me... how does it feel to be a shell of a human being?
2muchlove Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 It's your disgusting behavior that attracts the wrong women to you. Look up the laws of attraction. I'm sure you're really proud of yourself... but tell me... how does it feel to be a shell of a human being? I don't condone or warrant the mistreatment of women, or anybody for that matter. But he sadly has a point. And it doesn't just extend to women. However your hypocritical commentary isn't going to change his mind, I can promise you that.
Zammo25 Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 I do not agree with the OP in intentionally treating Women like crap but I do agree with the fact that a lot of Women like the chase, like you to fall for them and then when they do they become disinterested. Using sex as a tool to achieve this then withdrawing this as well when the man is hooked. It happens far too often to all sorts of men to make it a coincidence. As soon as you tell a Woman " I love you " that is when the problems start and they start to detach emotionally. If you behave in a couldn't care less way their interest is kept. Sad but unfortunately true.
KatZee Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 (edited) I don't condone or warrant the mistreatment of women, or anybody for that matter. But he sadly has a point. And it doesn't just extend to women. However your hypocritical commentary isn't going to change his mind, I can promise you that. Of course it won't. As far as I can see, this poor man's soul is dead. And that's truly truly sad. Because I CAN promise you that one day, most likely not anytime soon, he's going to wake up and realize just how much of his life he wasted, treating people like crap just because of his own limited ability to look for the good and decent in life. I find it really sad that a person becomes so beaten down, jaded, and turned off to life just because he/she had one, or even several bad experiences. I'm not sure why people live in a world thinking it's going to always be wonderful. It's not. It takes work, and it takes strength to face the day with a positive outlook... to act like this... I'm sorry. It's cowardice. It's weakness. It's also terrible that people feel the need to project their own pain onto others. That's selfish. It's people like this you need to look at, and then say to yourself... oh so HE'S why so many people are hurting in the world. Instead of just fixating on his own life, working through his own issues, he feels the need to treat people like crap. But at the end of the day, it shows just how truly hurt and insecure he is. I know he acts all big and bad in his post... but strip off that facade and you have a seriously hollow person. I can't imagine anyone wanting to remain in this state. But to each his own I guess. Edited July 31, 2012 by KatZee
Samilia Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 I haven't treated a single woman like a human being in the last decade, at some point it just clicked that women will never treat you with as much kindness, respect and even reverence than they did their abusive ******* alcoholic ex. It has been very rewarding so far. That's laughable, at best
KatZee Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 It's my disgusting behavior that attracts and keeps around the best looking women, I like how you assume this isn't a compartmentalized part of my life, I get along fabulously with friends, family and coworkers because they reciprocate when you treat them positively. Males compartmentalize. I get this. And if you don't care to be so shallow and empty, that's your own choice. It's just sick that it's all you care about. Keeping around the "best looking" and then discarding them like trash. It's as if you care for nothing but yourself. But then again if these women allow you to behave this way, they clearly think little of themselves as is, which is kind of messed up that you further enable this. You also shouldn't treat people positively just to expect some sort of positivity back. I treat people how I would like to be treated, and unfortunately most people are just dickholes. I'm not going to withhold my genuine nature just because someone didn't give it to me back. Being genuinely kindhearted doesn't mean looking for some sort of benefit back.
Chi townD Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 i was chattin with a mate the other day about blokes that get hurt in relationships. Well his answer was, someone has to pay for it, meaning **** it i've been ****ed over by a woman, now other women are going to pay. I've seen this so many times now......call it what you want, but it seems very commonplace.....this is where the victim becomes the player!....or user Yeah, but to what end? You're pretending to be someone that you know damn well and good that you are NOT! You are presenting yourself as something that isn't very nice and using someone for your own self gratification and at the end you don't feel any better and in most cases, worse off. By presenting this persona you are never going to find a girl that is going to know the REAL you, she is never going to truely get to know you. Then, you let your Ex win. She was able to turn you into something that is rude and ugly. You're letting her know that she had THAT much power over you, that she can sabotage any future relationship that you might have with women. And in the end, you're not being fair to yourself and your not being fair to the girl that will love you for who you are; for the man you are. And would love the opportunity to send your Ex a Thank you card for giving up such a kind and caring man. 2
Crila16 Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. ...and no...other people don't pay for you getting hurt by another person in the way that you think. Yes, when a person keeps getting hurt by someone they like...they automatically put up a wall and are defensive and on guard when they eventually move on and enter another relationship. It's more for self preservation. Now if you're going to off on a rampage and have intentions of hurt an innocent person, just because one stupid girl broke your heart...then that's cruel. That's like saying, the girl next door killed your puppy, and since she doesn't have a puppy to kill, you're going to find another girls puppy to murder. When you meet the one for you, all anger and fears will disappear. You won't have any. It will just be a no brainer. You won't be overthinking anything...the relationship will just work. You won't want to make her suffer, and you'll be so happy, all this pain you're feeling now will be gone.
Zammo25 Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 I can sympathise a little with the OP but he is reacting badly to it. I do think generally men get the worse deal and most of the people who become emotional basketcases after a break up are men as they fall further and harder. I believe men are far more romantic and willing to make efforts but women move on without a care as the dumper and swing to another guy almost immediately as it is far easier for a woman to hook up again that a man. So I do believe sincerely women can be and often are brutal and savage and can use men and then dump them. I can understand why some people get bitter like the OP and the " nice guys come last " is unfortunately based on fact. Women do not like " nice guys " and time after time will go for a man who treats them like crap and they fight for their attention and loving. When they do find a loving and genuine guy after they have got them to fall for them, they lose interest. I see it time and time again.
Crila16 Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 I'm sorry Zammo...but What???? That is actually the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You must be a very bitter and angry man. First off, I'm a woman. I've had my heart ripped out by guys many many many times. These were even the nicest guys, who just felt that I wasn't the one. They weren't always jerks about it when they ended it. I also have been really nice when I've ended it with guys. I've always tried to be honest. Second, as a woman gets older...she goes after and hunts down the NICE guys...avoiding the bad guys. That's why you'll see a lot of HOT woman (LIKE ME) with the ugliest guys. If a guy isn't nice and isn't a man of his word, I'm instantly turned off. If a guys a sweet to me, calls when he says he's going to call...I'm in love. I actually just broke up with a guy because he played too many head games and was a horrible guy. Thank God I didn't waste more than 3 weeks. He was so nice at first. The minute he changed, was the minute I ditched him. 1
Zammo25 Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 I'm sorry Zammo...but What???? That is actually the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You must be a very bitter and angry man. First off, I'm a woman. I've had my heart ripped out by guys many many many times. These were even the nicest guys, who just felt that I wasn't the one. They weren't always jerks about it when they ended it. I also have been really nice when I've ended it with guys. I've always tried to be honest. Second, as a woman gets older...she goes after and hunts down the NICE guys...avoiding the bad guys. That's why you'll see a lot of HOT woman (LIKE ME) with the ugliest guys. If a guy isn't nice and isn't a man of his word, I'm instantly turned off. If a guys a sweet to me, calls when he says he's going to call...I'm in love. I actually just broke up with a guy because he played too many head games and was a horrible guy. Thank God I didn't waste more than 3 weeks. He was so nice at first. The minute he changed, was the minute I ditched him. I am not bitter I am stating facts. If I was bitter I would not have posted my latest thread. I am only speaking from what I see all around me. 1
Zammo25 Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 I'm sorry Zammo...but What???? That is actually the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You must be a very bitter and angry man. First off, I'm a woman. I've had my heart ripped out by guys many many many times. These were even the nicest guys, who just felt that I wasn't the one. They weren't always jerks about it when they ended it. I also have been really nice when I've ended it with guys. I've always tried to be honest. Second, as a woman gets older...she goes after and hunts down the NICE guys...avoiding the bad guys. That's why you'll see a lot of HOT woman (LIKE ME) with the ugliest guys. If a guy isn't nice and isn't a man of his word, I'm instantly turned off. If a guys a sweet to me, calls when he says he's going to call...I'm in love. I actually just broke up with a guy because he played too many head games and was a horrible guy. Thank God I didn't waste more than 3 weeks. He was so nice at first. The minute he changed, was the minute I ditched him. This is where your argument falls down. " That's why you'll see a lot of HOT woman (LIKE ME) with the ugliest guys. "
Woggle Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 There are plenty of people like this and it is not limited to one gender. There are women out there who have been hurt so now all men have to pay. Where do you think the you go girl attitude that you sometimes hear towards cheating women comes from. These women were hurt by a man in the past so they enjoy seeing a man get hurt. No matter how hurt you are it is never okay to use an innocent person as a punching bag for how your ex treated you.
Zammo25 Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 There are plenty of people like this and it is not limited to one gender. There are women out there who have been hurt so now all men have to pay. Where do you think the you go girl attitude that you sometimes hear towards cheating women comes from. These women were hurt by a man in the past so they enjoy seeing a man get hurt. No matter how hurt you are it is never okay to use an innocent person as a punching bag for how your ex treated you. Watch sex in the city and it is actually a pretty good observation of 30/40 something women. They treat guys like a joke and use them and spit them out. This is generally the way of woman of this age range I am afraid especially in the UK where I live. Men are ritually abused and ridiculed in every tv programme, magazine and website here. Men are jokes and losers to vast swathes of womenkind I am afraid to report.
steveblack Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Honestly, I did this in my first break up 7 years ago. For 2 years I was just mean/unhappy because I could not accept and let go. I regret every moment of that and only recently have forgiven myself for being such a ****er. I am trying really hard not to do this time, it is not worth it for me or the people I hurt. 1
cheekysmiles Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 I gave everything to my ex and admit to thinking "this must be what turns nice guys into *******s" but realized that no, she's a good person and i know that. we both have our faults and no one is perfect definitely not gonna become an ******* for anybody
Author weallfalldown Posted July 31, 2012 Author Posted July 31, 2012 just to clarify....it was my friend i was refering to....not me!
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