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Why Do MM Have Affairs While Their Wife Is Pregnant?

hurting tonight

By hurting tonight
in General Relationship Discussion

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hurting tonight Established Member

hurting tonight

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Or why do they have affairs while trying to get their wife pregnant? Looking for any and all answers. I wanted some opinions. Thanks.

bentnotbroken Established Member

bentnotbroken

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The fact that he is looking to have an affair whether the wife is pregnant or not lets you know what kind of person he is. Pregnancy is just small hangup to a jacked up situation.

Spark1111 Established Member

Spark1111

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Her body is changing and he doesn't like it. How mature!

 

Her life and focus is changing and he receives less attention and he doesn't like it. How mature!

 

Her hormones are changing and she doesn't want as much physical intimacy with him....again, how mature!

 

He is afraid of the changes to his life and of being tied down and knows he will no longer be the center of her attention; the baby will.

 

As for why get her pregnant while having an affair?

 

The affair partner is just a diversion from his new reality, soon to be filled with a lifetime of responsibility.

 

He still has sex with his wife.

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jwi71 Established Member

jwi71

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For me, as a man, intercourse with my pregnant W is, well, weird.

The weight gain, the "showing" and the utterly ridiculous notion I would somehow poke an eye out.

After x months my desire for both current W and xWW fell off the map.

 

As to why do men cheat while trying to get their W pregnant or already are....it's no different from who cheat in general. The fact their W is pregnant or trying to, to me, simply highlights the compartmentalization and duplicity they are capable of. The perfect stage for their own individual failures.

 

The opposite question is also true. Why do OW become involved with a MM whose W is pregnant or becomes pregnant?

 

All the qualifier of "pregnancy" does, to me, is highlight, clearly, the amount of willfull denial there is in an A setting.

 

Just one of many displays of an A's inherently nature. (with rare exception)

scatterd Established Member

scatterd

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I think Spark pretty much hit the nail on the head.

This is defiantly immature and hurts both mother and child. This happened to me with my first child and it hurt. He was so sorry after I lost my weight and was back to my self. We divorced a few years later.

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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The opposite question is also true. Why do OW become involved with a MM whose W is pregnant or becomes pregnant?

 

 

This is the more important question to women involved with MM.

beenburned Established Member

beenburned

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I agree with Spark. It is a HUGE sign of immaturity and selfishness when a man cheats on his pregnant wife!:(

 

As for the men that deliberately try to get the wife pregnant while they are cheating: it is all about trying to control the wife, so that she feels too trapped to leave him when she finds out the truth.:sick:

 

This is also true when cheating men deliberately create HUGE debts, such as buying a new home, car, etc. It is just an effort to control and manipulate the wife's life, to achieve the outcome they want. (which is to stay married and have OW on the side):mad:

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hurting tonight Established Member

hurting tonight

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What about if the AP didn't know,and found out accidently from another source. When MM was told that she knew, why didn't he tell her, he said because he didn't want to loose her. By that time you're invested emotionally in your AP, you forgive. Had OW known about MM wife being pregnant, affair would have not happened.

beenburned Established Member

beenburned

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jwi,

 

I respect your opinion that you think having sex with a pregnant wife is weird.

And that you feel all the changes that happen with any pregnant woman is a sexual turn off.

 

However, most men understand that all these changes are a natural part of becoming a responsible parent/husband.

 

A woman agreeing to have a man's child, and going through all the pain and suffering, is a GIFT of her love to him. To ridicule/reduce the whole experience, and the wife, is a total slap in the face!(to all women)

:sick:

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beenburned Established Member

beenburned

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HT,

 

Why would you want a man like that?

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hurting tonight Established Member

hurting tonight

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My business why I'm asking, you don't need to know more then that. Trying to understand. Lets leave it at that.

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hurting tonight Established Member

hurting tonight

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If I could get answers from male AP, it would be such a help with different perspectives. Thanks.

LFH Established Member

LFH

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I think people have affairs for all different reasons.

Some have affairs because their spouse/girlfriend got pregnant without it being planned and it wasn't what they wanted.

Some have affairs because they are immature.

Some have affairs because what they have isn't working and they didn't realize it until then.

Some have affairs because they never expected the complete change in their spouse as she turned into someone else completely, bearing little resemblence to the person that they made the choice to marry.

Some are just *******s.

 

There is no way for us to tell you why your AP might have done this... the only way to know would be to ask him.

For me, that'd be a deal breaker even though very little else would be... but I just know I couldn't watch another tie be formed that way.

 

It's all about choices and being ok with the ones you make. I'm sorry you didn't know about this and found out from someone else. I'm sure that hurts. I hope you are able to get the answers you want.

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todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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Or why do they have affairs while trying to get their wife pregnant? Looking for any and all answers. I wanted some opinions. Thanks.

 

 

fear of commitment that hang dog trapped feeling like oh crap oh crap oh crap better find some kitty quick im doooooooooooomed

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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What about if the AP didn't know,and found out accidently from another source. When MM was told that she knew, why didn't he tell her, he said because he didn't want to loose her. By that time you're invested emotionally in your AP, you forgive. Had OW known about MM wife being pregnant, affair would have not happened.

 

If that happened to me the moment I found out that would be the end of my relationship with MM no matter how emotionally invested I was. I would automatically know I had been involved with a lying piece of sh-t and I would be so angered that he had deceived me and made me a party to something I find completely digusting I would never speak to him again.

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hurting tonight Established Member

hurting tonight

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This happened about 4 years ago, I know it's a long time ago, but believe it or not I still think about it. Had I not fallen in love, I would've walked away, but by that time, I just couldn't. His son was 10 days old when I found out. I think we where together maybe 3 weeks at the time when he knew his wife was pregnant. He told me she had the baby 3 weeks early. I wish he was straight up and told me. Even now I feel horrible. Thanks for the responses, it helped me to understand his actions.

jeffmeyers Established Member

jeffmeyers

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I think people have affairs for all different reasons.

Some have affairs because their spouse/girlfriend got pregnant without it being planned and it wasn't what they wanted.

Some have affairs because they are immature.

Some have affairs because what they have isn't working and they didn't realize it until then.

Some have affairs because they never expected the complete change in their spouse as she turned into someone else completely, bearing little resemblence to the person that they made the choice to marry.

Some are just *******s.

 

There is no way for us to tell you why your AP might have done this... the only way to know would be to ask him.

For me, that'd be a deal breaker even though very little else would be... but I just know I couldn't watch another tie be formed that way.

 

It's all about choices and being ok with the ones you make. I'm sorry you didn't know about this and found out from someone else. I'm sure that hurts. I hope you are able to get the answers you want.

 

Yep, though you neglected to list another reason...

 

With many women though far from all, libido nosedives during pregnancy and early nursing. I was unfortunate to experience this with my wife, a big 14 months or so of no sex whatsoever. I didn't hold it against her and I got through it, but let's just say I gained a new understanding as to why some men cheat on their pregnant partners.

taiko Established Member

taiko

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while you were trying to get pregnant it was because he gave just lip service to monogamy. My wife is from the Philippines and in the "Catholic country" if a man is powerful enough and cares for his other kids he will get away with little social punishment with cheating. Meanwhile they will joke about a Muslim having four wives. When my father in law died his second family did step forward to claim their 25% of the estate the law allows.

 

Meanwhile after you are pregnant. There was a movie, in the plot the pregnant wife decided it was a sin for her husband to stick his penis in with their child. He begged but she hung tough, so he had an affair, they reconcilled in the end

Negative Nancy Established Member

Negative Nancy

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Her body is changing and he doesn't like it. How mature!

 

That's exactly it. He probably doesn't find her "sexy" :rolleyes: enough anymore with a huge baby belly so he can't bring himself to having sex with her anymore. Or maybe she has some medical issues that don't allow her to go at it like rabbits anymore during pregnancy, and since men cannot keep it in their pants and are like little children who need instant gratification, he looks somewhere else to have his needs met. :rolleyes:

 

Any man who cheats on his woman during pregnancy does not deserve to have kids. :mad:

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