Leigh 87 Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 :mad:So, I have a friend who's boyfriend is acting like a real idiot.... He genuinely sounds like he loves her. He has not cheated. The problem is, he goes on dating sites! Now, I KNOW he has not cheated. I have my sources. And by all accounts, he acts like she is the only girl he wants. They live together most of the time, aare are very close. She guessed his passwords on the dating sites... She needed to use his email for a job related purpose, and discovered he ws on two dating sites when she was in his email.. she guessed his passwords on both of them ( it was the same one haha). the messges were innocuous, in that he has NOT met ANY of the girls in the 3 - 4 months he has been on them... When she asked him about it, he said there is nothing to hide, and that he simply loves chating to girls. They live on coastal town and there is no much opportunity for the guy to meet new people... Whats more, is that, like MY partner, he is ALSO reall keen on travelling, motor bikes, etc... And because it is hard to meet worthy people in the area in which they live, perhaps he genuinaly WANTS to just chat to more interesting people, than the typical girls who are around him? Also in his defence, from what I know of him, he loves to talk to people in general, and is the first to jump up when we go to the beach, to ask a bunch of new people we just met, if they are up for a swim! He is very social, AGAIN very much like my own partner, and gets bored and his work and claims that he simply likes to chat to new people when he is bored at work. .....I think she should just leave him. Surely, if a guy is truly in love, in a BIG way, he would not feel the NEED to go chatting to a LOT of girls on dating and sex websites? A couple of the girls asked to meet, and he suggested meeting a few times, but he NEVER followed it up... Which makes it HARDER to just think the only option for her is to " ditch the loser and move on"...... Because if he was keen to meet the girls, he had loads of chances, but whenever meetings were mentioned, he stopped talking to the girls and never followed it up. I am torn. I have only just started to make friends since moving to a new town, and want the best for this girl; she is truly a nice girl, and I am glad I have met a few people like her lately. I can see us becoming good friends. I KNOW I should just sit back and tell her I will support her in whatever she chooses to do... but it is HARD when this guy claims to love and adore her, yet goes on dating sites! What is even worse for her, is that they are very attached, and are together most nights. He reall seams to need her love and he needs her to be close to him.... he honestly looks like he needs her around in his life, for more than sex..... Why would this guy, who genuinely seams to close to this girl, go on dating sites just to chat to new people? He honestly sounded SO genuine to me when I talked to him about it..... I sort of made friends with him before I met this girl, and he sounds like an honest guy.... ..... I am so sad for my friend! They have been together a fair while:( It would be very hard for her to just leave him. He would probably act like he loves her and, I know it is STRANGE, but he comes across as though he would be DEVASTATED if she left him.... I wish I could convince her to leave him no matter how hard it is, but of course, I just have to be a good friend and let her make her own desisions... Seriously though! What would YOU tell a new friend, who you were JUST getting close to, about this situation!@?!@ Obviously I cannot advise her too much, because, well.... I may not have her as friend for long!
Radu Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Why are you drawing parallels between this guy and your bf ? There is something there, that makes you a bit insecure. If you literally need friends, i would keep my mouth shut and see how it develops, learn a lesson from it. I suspect he will cheat, he needs the attention. 1
darkmoon Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 (edited) a dating website when he could be anywhere on-line and have a chance to chat, he sounds quite immature Edited July 31, 2012 by darkmoon
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 31, 2012 Author Posted July 31, 2012 There is a parallel, because he genuinely seams into his girlfriend. Before I met her, he did NOT come across like he would cheat! And I just need a few people to go out with socially in my new area.... I have finally settled into a tourism course that I really like, and while good friends are hard to find, I am very social and have not have the chance to meet friends yet... Being a fun and social person, I am enjoying having people to be around more often. Obviously, I am not going to tell her what I think she should do. I will just offer her my support regardless. I save my true advice for good mates, who I know I can be honest with. The thing that has reall struck me, is that this guy does NOT act like a guy who would cheat. My partner and I, and her partner and her, all hang out occasionally, and it always looked very clear that they were very close. He always told me before I met his girlfriend, that he HATES cheaters, and would NEVER cheat; that he would NOT bother with a girl he was not really into. Unfortunately, my own boyfriend is very similar to this guy! So obviously I am a little upset.... Here is a guy who is acting like he is really into his girtlfriend, and he is genuinely very attached to her.... The way MY partner acts towards me..... I just do not understand why a guy would act so attached, spend all his free time with his girlfriend, make HIS life all about hsi girlfriend, yet be on dating websites? If her boyfriend can fool her, MY partner can certainly fool me! Because her boyfriend comes across just as in love s my boyfriend claims to b e with me. I just cannot figure out why the hell this guy spends his life with a girl, does everything with her, and lives with her... When he is seeking out other girls? It does not add up.....
Author Leigh 87 Posted July 31, 2012 Author Posted July 31, 2012 a dating website when he could be anywhere on-line and have a chance to chat, he sounds quite immature He IS rather immature! He is a great guy to be around though! He asked his girlfriend to find another chat site for him to chat to interesting people on h is lunch breaks. He has a sh*tty job and gets so bored and said he wants people to talk to. Another thing - he is homophobic, and feels wrong talking to men... hence, why he talks to girls (Apparently!)... Although he is genuinely a little homophobe.... SO it does add up a little, when I connect the dots.... -He is against chatting to men online, I know this from his personality - he does like randomly talking to new people a lot - he acted like he had nothing to hide when his girlfriend confronted him, and he acted the same way with me; like " look dude, I have nothing to hide, I am too lazy to find other ways to chat to girls so here you go"... He is just so similar to my partner, so I have a special interest in her predicament! What's worse - my parter thinks it is okay to chat to girls if the guy is in love! That if the guy knows it is innocent, what is the problem!?!! And my boyfriend is good mates with this guy! My boyfriend says this guy loves his girlfriend ( my new aquaintance), and that he really wanted to just chat to girls online! My boyfriend tells me everything about his mates relationships; he TELLS Me the guys that lie and cheat...His best mate cheated and was not good to his girlfriend, and they are still best mates, so he would not lie for this man.... I digress though - my bf and her bf ARE rather immature.
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