counterman Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Alright, so last semester at uni, I had cold approached about 25 to 30 girls. Note: I didn't not ask out all girls. Either I didn't find them attractive up close or I just wanted to talk. Of the 15 or so girls I was interested in, I think I had about 8 or 9 numbers; the rest were either not interested or had boyfriends. Now, about 2 of them agreed to dates during our first meeting. As I was contacting the others, a few slipped in they had boyfriends (I figured they just changed their mind). 1 girl didn't get back to me (I realise I said something stupid when I spoke to her). 1 girl said she just didn't want to lead me on and just wanted to be friends. And the others... I can't remember! The 1 date I had was with a girl was so very obnoxious and, for lack of a better word, abrasive. Thing is, it's been WAY TOO LONG! My mind keeps thinking about sex... Just sex, sex, sex. Today, I was at coffee shop, waiting in line to order. There was this absolutely gorgeous girl standing there. The guy behind me was checking her out too. So, I figured I would wait until I finish my order and then go talk to her. When I finished my order, instead of talking to her like I wanted to, I sat down at a table and next thing you know she's with a friend. Problem was, I hesitated and once I did, it was automatically a missed opportunity. I was so annoyed at myself. Throughout the day, I must admit, that moment kept popping up in my mind. I must get going and start approaching girls again HOWEVER, there are things I've learnt from my previous experiences and this is what I did wrong and what I'll be doing differently: 1) I was too nice. Look, there is nothing wrong with being friendly and nice, but let's face it, there's got to be more to someone than just nice. Nice doesn't leave a girl excited. Anyways, it reminded me back in the days of high school, when I was that passive nice guy; 2) I need to flirt more. I will admit I'm shocking at flirting but I'm improving. With the interactions with the girls, I tended to play it too safe and spoke about 'safe' topics and needed to take more risks to show that I am comfortable with my sexuality. The best reactions I got was when I was comfortable flirting; 3) Don't leave with emails. I took the emails of two girls, sent them an email and they never replied. I prefer a more personal touch through the phone. An email is a blow-off, whether it's friendship or a date. That's just my opinion anyways, especially with the girls on campus; 4) Be completely okay with being friends with the girls who aren't interested. There were a few cases where I ruled out a girl simply because she wasn't interested in dating me. However, I really don't mind making new friends and I'm surprised at the number of interesting people I have met (who could introduce me to other cute girls ). Especially at the moment, I am looking for new friends; 5) Just have fun. A few times I did put a little pressure on myself to get something out of the interactions and I didn't really enjoy myself. When I'm care-free and relax, it shows in my body language and it certainly helps the interaction flow better; 6) I need to work on my texting! Most of the girls I have asked out LOVE to text. I get through the first and second text okay, but I've blown several dates before by texting something stupid afterwards. I prefer calling myself but I guess I can learn to text; and 7) Smile more! I seriously need to work on this. Smiles brings miles and sometimes I have too much of a 'dead pan' face when I talk. Any tips for working on this? I'm just not use to smiling...eve since I can remember Those are just some of the lessons I've learnt and some of the things I will do differently. Now, I know some of you won't agree and that's fair but bare in mind, this is from MY experience and it's what I think will help me. Life is full of curve balls and I've sure I've got heaps coming my way. But that's okay, because after every awkward, fun, boring, exhilarating, dull, and game-changing moment that I experience, I will come out a better man Starts this week. My first approach after 2 months. Don't know when or how or what's going to happen, which is exciting
todreaminblue Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Alright, so last semester at uni, I had cold approached about 25 to 30 girls. Note: I didn't not ask out all girls. Either I didn't find them attractive up close or I just wanted to talk. Of the 15 or so girls I was interested in, I think I had about 8 or 9 numbers; the rest were either not interested or had boyfriends. Now, about 2 of them agreed to dates during our first meeting. As I was contacting the others, a few slipped in they had boyfriends (I figured they just changed their mind). 1 girl didn't get back to me (I realise I said something stupid when I spoke to her). 1 girl said she just didn't want to lead me on and just wanted to be friends. And the others... I can't remember! The 1 date I had was with a girl was so very obnoxious and, for lack of a better word, abrasive. Thing is, it's been WAY TOO LONG! My mind keeps thinking about sex... Just sex, sex, sex. Today, I was at coffee shop, waiting in line to order. There was this absolutely gorgeous girl standing there. The guy behind me was checking her out too. So, I figured I would wait until I finish my order and then go talk to her. When I finished my order, instead of talking to her like I wanted to, I sat down at a table and next thing you know she's with a friend. Problem was, I hesitated and once I did, it was automatically a missed opportunity. I was so annoyed at myself. Throughout the day, I must admit, that moment kept popping up in my mind. I must get going and start approaching girls again HOWEVER, there are things I've learnt from my previous experiences and this is what I did wrong and what I'll be doing differently: 1) I was too nice. Look, there is nothing wrong with being friendly and nice, but let's face it, there's got to be more to someone than just nice. Nice doesn't leave a girl excited. Anyways, it reminded me back in the days of high school, when I was that passive nice guy; 2) I need to flirt more. I will admit I'm shocking at flirting but I'm improving. With the interactions with the girls, I tended to play it too safe and spoke about 'safe' topics and needed to take more risks to show that I am comfortable with my sexuality. The best reactions I got was when I was comfortable flirting; 3) Don't leave with emails. I took the emails of two girls, sent them an email and they never replied. I prefer a more personal touch through the phone. An email is a blow-off, whether it's friendship or a date. That's just my opinion anyways, especially with the girls on campus; 4) Be completely okay with being friends with the girls who aren't interested. There were a few cases where I ruled out a girl simply because she wasn't interested in dating me. However, I really don't mind making new friends and I'm surprised at the number of interesting people I have met (who could introduce me to other cute girls ). Especially at the moment, I am looking for new friends; 5) Just have fun. A few times I did put a little pressure on myself to get something out of the interactions and I didn't really enjoy myself. When I'm care-free and relax, it shows in my body language and it certainly helps the interaction flow better; 6) I need to work on my texting! Most of the girls I have asked out LOVE to text. I get through the first and second text okay, but I've blown several dates before by texting something stupid afterwards. I prefer calling myself but I guess I can learn to text; and 7) Smile more! I seriously need to work on this. Smiles brings miles and sometimes I have too much of a 'dead pan' face when I talk. Any tips for working on this? I'm just not use to smiling...eve since I can remember Those are just some of the lessons I've learnt and some of the things I will do differently. Now, I know some of you won't agree and that's fair but bare in mind, this is from MY experience and it's what I think will help me. Life is full of curve balls and I've sure I've got heaps coming my way. But that's okay, because after every awkward, fun, boring, exhilarating, dull, and game-changing moment that I experience, I will come out a better man Starts this week. My first approach after 2 months. Don't know when or how or what's going to happen, which is exciting huh? oh ok yes to the phone good idea the personal touch, being nice is a hindrance but i think its nice for everybody to be nice and then its nice to be wicked and kinky behind closed doors.... one on one swag...think about that, you can be nice and be respectful in a room full of people but flirting can be misinterpreted not nicely and its nice to have decorum.Says me.dont listen to anything i say i dont date
Author counterman Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 huh? oh ok yes to the phone good idea the personal touch, being nice is a hindrance but i think its nice for everybody to be nice and then its nice to be wicked and kinky behind closed doors.... one on one swag...think about that, you can be nice and be respectful in a room full of people but flirting can be misinterpreted not nicely and its nice to have decorum.Says me.dont listen to anything i say i dont date I am always nice, even when I try to tone it down It's just who I am! Now, the flirty side of me is something not many people get to see, and since I'm not use to flirting, it's a bit awkward when I try to. So perhaps flirting can be misinterpreted, that's why I will start of testing the waters a little and not say something too outrageous. I understand what you're saying though Update 1: Today, I spotted a girl from a far and as I approached her, I let out the words "hi there!". At the same time I said those words, I noticed the cake of make up she had on covering scars... It was too far in before I could retract those words. Anyways, she blew me off; said she was running late to class. What was disappointed was I blew 3 opportunities today. I hesitated a few minutes and the girls were gone. Stilling trying to get over this approach anxiety. Didn't think it'll take this long but we'll see what happens tomorrow Anything fun you guys want me to try just for kicks?
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