irc333 Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Was talking to a male friend of mine tonight....he mentioned a woman who was in our social circle (now married 2 years ago), and my dorkiness/ nerdiness was plain and obvious as it is. We were talking about our dating issues, and I said to him, "Hm, maybe instead of dating, I should look through my collection of comics and jsut look at comic book hero's with big boobs" That's when he said , "Man, you and <the now married woman's name> would've been perfect together!" I think he was right on that, but she married someone else (and in secret, they eloped) Only reason I didn't date her, is that she was legally still married, was just waiting on the divorce papers to go through "officially" because she had to clear up some matters having to do with the business they had together. And I don't date separated women, but she was ...at the time dating her FUTURE husband. I mean, there was a time I thought she was UN-married, then I found out on her FB profile at one time, "Wow, I am now FINALLY divorced, whew!" And I was like "huh? You were still married?" Sorry, just babbling....but this woman was a spittin image of Marilyn Monroe. But was into comic books, video games, and World of Warcraft. If you were too look at her, you wouldn't think that ONE bit....and...she was a BIG dork. But...I don't think she was into me in "that way" That's always been my problem....I've met women that I totally fell for because we had so much in common, laughing at each other's jokes, and we actually would "GET" each other. However, they never thought of me in THAT way. I think that's the ONLY thing that I keep reflecting on. I meet compatible women, but....they never want to actually DATE me...of course, I obviously want to date them. It's a serious curse actually. Kind of like the addage, "Water water everywhere, but not a drop to drink." I'm basically, everything that certain women are looking for, but minus the physical intimacy part. What's even SADDER, friends think we're perfect for each other, but the person themselves. WHY is it form other friends perspectives, I'd be a great match for a woman, but the ACTUAL woman thinks No such thing? Rant off.
Imajerk17 Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Well, maybe what you need is a dose of sour grapes. You still don't want to be dating a separated woman and furthermore, in this instance it sounds that she was never really available even if you were to have considered dating separated. She was dating her now-husband right while she was spitting from her ex-husband. She might have even had an affair, going by how you described the situation. I've given you this advice before but have you considered moving. It seems that the women where you live now are stuck-up or into bad boys. You probably would have better luck in a big city.
brahmabull117 Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 You're the safe "nice guy". You're probably not very confident and that's why you keep struggling All the compatibility in the world means nothing if you're not going to be masculine 1
Author irc333 Posted July 31, 2012 Author Posted July 31, 2012 You're the safe "nice guy". You're probably not very confident and that's why you keep struggling All the compatibility in the world means nothing if you're not going to be masculine I'm not a typical "nice guy", I am what I just described above, and I'm as masculine as any other guy. The guy she married, he would probably what you would define as "nice" as well.
brahmabull117 Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 I'm not a typical "nice guy", I am what I just described above, and I'm as masculine as any other guy. then are you below these woman in terms of physical appearance? All dating comes down to is 2 things - Are you attractive enough for her (Appearance and Confidence/Masculinity) and are you compatible? It sounds like you're very compatible with these women, the problem then is either confidence or appearance.
mortensorchid Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 DId you ever approach her in "that way" or were you just always a friendly person to her? Maybe she never knew that you were interested in any way. But it sounds like it just wasn't meant to be with her, sounds like she has some issues to divorce her husband then run off with someone else so quickly. Next time, that's what I tell myself.
Author irc333 Posted July 31, 2012 Author Posted July 31, 2012 DId you ever approach her in "that way" or were you just always a friendly person to her? Maybe she never knew that you were interested in any way. But it sounds like it just wasn't meant to be with her, sounds like she has some issues to divorce her husband then run off with someone else so quickly. Next time, that's what I tell myself. Oh yeah, been there, done that bought the T-shirt, but I just wound up keeping the T-shirt.
grkBoy Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 IRC333, I admire your moral high ground, but I often think you set the bar too high on that. I look at separated women as "trek carefully", not "off limits". We don't live in a world where a man or woman waits til the divorce is final to start dating. You dropped the ball here. You can't say no to opportunity when it comes because it might not come packaged as you like. You take chances. That's dating. She seemed into you, but you held off and so she moved on to the next guy who won't sit on that high moral ground. I'll even be more honest and say many women will be TURNED OFF of guys who play things too "moral". Yes, they want men who respect them and will be loyal...but they also want the guy who will take her like a pornstar and break the rules/laws if it leads to exciting things. You can't always play "by the book" in this world. That world died decades ago.
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