Imajerk17 Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 (edited) Last night I went on a first date, after an intense few days of texting, where she paid me a lot of compliments and our texts got pretty steamy. And even though I should have known better, I ate it up. We met and it was intense. We ended up having sex. After we both agreed near the end of our date that we had an amazing time (or at least I told her I did and she said she had an amazing time too). I told her then that I wanted to see her again and we made plans for tomorrow. I should have known something was up when she said then she would text me her address. Now I am convinced as today that I'll never see her again as she seems much less responsive via text (this weekend every text I sent she returned within 5 minutes and was really flirty). I called tonight and got her voicemail. Anyway, my head is spinning. I'm thinking of taking a break from all this. Meanwhile I'm feeling pretty rejected. All these things during our text conversations about how great I seem from my online profile, our phone conversation, and then after that the intensity of our date.... man. I let this affect me more than I should have. Now I am sure I won't ever see her again and I am really hurt about this. I guess I'm looking for words of encouragement. Edited July 31, 2012 by Imajerk17
StrangeBehaviors Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Well I don't know all the details, but it seems like you are instantly into a girl/woman and almost in love. All women have a sixth sense to this and it is off putting to the majority of them. My god man, text, text, text. Phone call. When does she get a chance to miss you a little? 1
MrCastle Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 I guess I'm looking for words of encouragement. You banged her, so. There's that. 4
ThaWholigan Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 You banged her, so. There's that. And it was good. You'll always have a good memory. 2
xxoo Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Women swoon for you! With great power comes great responsibility. Slow down, Spidey. 3
USMCHokie Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Last night I went on a first date, after an intense few days of texting, where she paid me a lot of compliments and our texts got pretty steamy. How often do you text like that before a first date? Have you ever tried not doing all that texting nonsense prior to the first date...? 1
Author Imajerk17 Posted July 31, 2012 Author Posted July 31, 2012 How often do you text like that before a first date? Have you ever tried not doing all that texting nonsense prior to the first date...? Not very often. We both got carried away I guess. 1
ThaWholigan Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 How often do you text like that before a first date? Have you ever tried not doing all that texting nonsense prior to the first date...? It's hard. Sometimes the girls take it there, and you feel like you should continue - innuendo is a hard thing to master, sometimes it takes a life of it's own without you realizing it. 2
MrCastle Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 How often do you text like that before a first date? Have you ever tried not doing all that texting nonsense prior to the first date...? Texting is where it's at, brother Granted they respond to your texts in a timely fashion and keep the convo rolling. 1
Author Imajerk17 Posted July 31, 2012 Author Posted July 31, 2012 It's hard. Sometimes the girls take it there, and you feel like you should continue - innuendo is a hard thing to master, sometimes it takes a life of it's own without you realizing it. Absolutely. That's what happened.... 1
Star Gazer Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 (edited) Ima: It sounds like she was just looking for a good time, not something that would develop. The pre-date steamy texts are what tell me that. Edited August 1, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
todreaminblue Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Last night I went on a first date, after an intense few days of texting, where she paid me a lot of compliments and our texts got pretty steamy. And even though I should have known better, I ate it up. We met and it was intense. We ended up having sex. After we both agreed near the end of our date that we had an amazing time (or at least I told her I did and she said she had an amazing time too). I told her then that I wanted to see her again and we made plans for tomorrow. I should have known something was up when she said then she would text me her address. Now I am convinced as today that I'll never see her again as she seems much less responsive via text (this weekend every text I sent she returned within 5 minutes and was really flirty). I called tonight and got her voicemail. Anyway, my head is spinning. I'm thinking of taking a break from all this. Meanwhile I'm feeling pretty rejected. All these things during our text conversations about how great I seem from my online profile, our phone conversation, and then after that the intensity of our date.... man. I let this affect me more than I should have. Now I am sure I won't ever see her again and I am really hurt about this. I guess I'm looking for words of encouragement. Anyway, my head is spinning. I'm thinking of taking a break from all this. Meanwhile I'm feeling pretty rejected. All these things during our text conversations about how great I seem from my online profile, our phone conversation, and then after that the intensity of our date.... man. I let this affect me more than I should have. Now I am sure I won't ever see her again and I am really hurt about this. You need to take that break You are not in the right frame of mind to move on,or to pursue a relationship....you need to have all positivity firing alllllllllllllllllllllllllll cylanders firing now captain kirk star trekkin cross the usa...... sorry I am focused again I just wanted to make you smile.If you didnt smile at that warped slice of song then it is time to take a break and recuperate and reflect.You will know when you are ready because you will get itchy feet and have that restless feeling, wanting to get out and meet people.Then you are ready.Be good to yourself and be good to others take that break so you can be positive and have chance at happiness, when it is right for you, and have that happiness to shower someone deserving with.......................best wishes ....deb
Author Imajerk17 Posted July 31, 2012 Author Posted July 31, 2012 Ima: It sounds like she was just looking for a good time. The pre-date steamy texts are what tell me that. Thanks StarGazer. Maybe she was. I was the one who made a little innuendo first, but she took it from there. And due to my go-go male drive I found myself escalating this further. Now I'm the one wondering if I am going to see her again and feeling sad about it. I planned to take her on a proper date too.
ThaWholigan Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Absolutely. That's what happened.... I ended up meeting a girl within 4 hours of first talking to her via email due to that very same thing . I barely said much before she got sexual.....
Star Gazer Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Thanks StarGazer. Maybe she was. I was the one who made a little innuendo first, but she took it from there. And due to my go-go male drive I found myself escalating this further. Now I'm the one wondering if I am going to see her again and feeling sad about it. I planned to take her on a proper date too. Well, there's still time...right? Just don't call her and leave her a scathing voicemail. 3
Author Imajerk17 Posted July 31, 2012 Author Posted July 31, 2012 Well, there's still time...right? Just don't call her and leave her a scathing voicemail. Haha yeah no... I wont do that. What really concerns me is how her communication has dropped off. She mentioned being an all-or-nothing kind of gal and I think she went from all to nothing.
Star Gazer Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Haha yeah no... I wont do that. What really concerns me is how her communication has dropped off. She mentioned being an all-or-nothing kind of gal and I think she went from all to nothing. Well, then... yeah. She told you who she was, and her actions are matching up, so... I'm assuming the sex was really good, hence you're disappointed?
mortensorchid Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Maybe you should just put this up with another one of life's experiences and learn from it. Whatever happens, it's a good thing.
Emilia Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 (edited) The sex was based on false intimacy and this is what freaked her out. When I used to do OLD, I got involved in the steamy stuff initially too but after realising the damage it did I resisted. Edited August 1, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Response to deleted post 3
Author Imajerk17 Posted July 31, 2012 Author Posted July 31, 2012 (edited) The sex was based on false intimacy and this is what freaked her out. When I used to do OLD, I got involved in the steamy stuff initially too but after realising the damage it did I resisted. What do you mean? Even if she was an eager participant? I guess I'm asking you to elaborate Emilia. Edited August 1, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Emilia Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 What do you mean? Even if she was an eager participant? I guess I'm asking you to elaborate Emilia. The supposed 'intimacy' you create with someone via texting without meeting them first is all in your mind, it's projection, it's not real. It also puts a lot of pressure on expectations. You then met them and you take it to the next level like you did with this woman without having some kind of foundation that's based on reality rahter than a fantasy. 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Dear Jerk; I'm here to offer you sincere words of encouragement. I think you probably went overboard here; time will tell. But I know from the way you represent yourself here that you are a good guy, and I do appreciate that you put yourself out there and take risks. It will pay off, even if it doesn't this time. 2
Star Gazer Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Dear Jerk; I'm here to offer you sincere words of encouragement. I think you probably went overboard here; time will tell. But I know from the way you represent yourself here that you are a good guy, and I do appreciate that you put yourself out there and take risks. It will pay off, even if it doesn't this time. I agree with this completely, especially the bolded. 1
Star Gazer Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 The supposed 'intimacy' you create with someone via texting without meeting them first is all in your mind, it's projection, it's not real. It also puts a lot of pressure on expectations. You then met them and you take it to the next level like you did with this woman without having some kind of foundation that's based on reality rahter than a fantasy. I think this is a salient point, and one that I find interesting because the roles have been reversed. Usually, it's the guy that bails once he finds that the "fake intimacy" isn't built on a real foundation. When the sex feels empty, they lose interest. Empty sex never feels good. The reason I say the roles are usually reversed is because usually women "catch feelings" from sex, whereas men usually can compartmentalize. Obviously, that's an over-generalization, but it's typically the way I've sen these things play out when sex comes too soon, based on this sense of "fake intimacy." Which leads me to believe that Ima is a bigger softie than he's letting on.
Author Imajerk17 Posted July 31, 2012 Author Posted July 31, 2012 Maybe I am a softy. She eventually got back to me saying she couldn't make tonight for some lame reason no offer to reschedule. I don't know if her intention was to be "nice". she picked a pretty cruel way to do it. I feel disrespected for both being flaked on AND for not getting a straight answer from her. This behavior is too conmon. Why cant people respect the people they go out with with some honesty?
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