Well I did it, the letter after the breakup.. Don't really regret it.

[steveblack]

Back story doesn't really matter. Breakup was not bad (for a breakup), but was a lot of ???? about why it happened (I need space). It took me a more than a month of NC to realize what I wanted to say in a letter to her. Every week I would draft and discard the letter, because I wasn't ready.

 

I heard through the grapevine that she got offered and awesome job (that she was hunting for when we were together) and I thought to myself "good for her. She was really working hard for that."

 

I then realized, there, that yeah I miss her, and yeah I do love her, but she didn't mean this pain I am feeling, it wasn't on purpose and most of all, It wasn't my fault either. We just don't work right now, and may not work ever. Yeah it sucks, but hey, it could be 100X worse.

 

So, I drafted and sent a letter over the weekend that really was from my heart, that made me feel good. If she reads it great, if not, great, if she runs farther, who cares. (it wasn't asking for her back or anything, just saying i appreciated things we had, some demons I personally had, and good luck)

 

I am sick of thinking about her feelings, and started to think of me. It felt good.

 

If you ask me if I am still in love with her the answer is yes, but in love with the idea of her in the past. Right now, I wouldn't be in love with anybody who left me like that.

 

So I am all for NC to heal yourself, but I also feel that if mentally in the right place, it might be ok the break it.

 

She respects me too much to leave me breadcrumbs (she is 27 I am 30), and has been really respectful of my space and our mutual friends. (e.g. she talked to one of our people in our circles (really not a close friend) and she said that it was a mutual breakup even though I got dumped)

 

I hope she finds someone that makes her happy (yeah that hurts) and I know she feels the same.

 

 

 

Being friends? Not any time soon. Not ready for that.

 

Anyway its only been a couple of days and I do feel better, Not sure how it will be a month from now. But 1 day at a time.

Edited July 31, 2012 by steveblack

[sage1320]

Anyway its only been a couple of days and I do feel better, Not sure how it will be a month from now. But 1 day at a time.

 

Hang in there!! take it one day at a time!! do something to keep yourself busy..

[Pod81]

Just keep in mind there's a strong possibility that she may never respond (mine never did and I was completely OK with that). I hope you'll be OK with that too and not wait by the computer for a response. My goal was simply to leave my last contact in a mature fashion without begging, pleading, blaming, or playing any stupid games. I'm assuming that was your goal as well?

[steveblack]

Yeah, I feel good about it. Im sure that I won't get a response, and that is ok. I do hope she reads it, but even that really doesn't matter either.

 

Yeah, it was for my own mental sanity, I, even if i didnt write it, was not going to plead or beg or anything like that. It was simply for me.

 

I will never read it again either.

[Pod81]

Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. Now, time for NC and self-healing! Best of luck!

[SoConfusedAndInShock]

Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. Now, time for NC and self-healing! Best of luck!

 

 

HEY POD81 you seem to know a lot about relationships and ive been dying to ask you a question or two specifically on my BU how do i send you a private msg or something?

[Pod81]

HEY POD81 you seem to know a lot about relationships and ive been dying to ask you a question or two specifically on my BU how do i send you a private msg or something?

 

Go to my profile, click the Contact Info tab, then click send a private message. But you need to be an established member first...I think it's 60 posts in 2 months and you'll have private messaging privileges. If you don't want to wait for that, leave me an email and I'll be glad to contact you.

Edited July 31, 2012 by Pod81