shibbikitteh Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Hey, this may sound like an odd question. But, I'm dating a guy, it's all going well. We haven't had the "exes" conversation yet, but yesterday, we were having a coffee and I "full smiled" (teeth exposed ect) a few times, and each time he stared at me. I asked him, "what’s up?" to which he replied "Oh ! Uhm, nothing, you just remind me of someone when you smile" and then he changed the conversation. I was flicking through his pics on facebook, and I saw a few pics of his ex misses, smiling. I straight away said to my housemate, do I look like her !? (she said no, until i smiled and she fell silent, which meant yes) Do you guys think this is a bad thing/something I should be worried about ? TL;DR: I look like my current interests ex-girlfriend when i smile, is this a bad thing ?
danm Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Why would it be a bad thing? I can see your worry. I seem to look quite similar my my girlfriends' ex, I found that strange. She happens to look a lot like the girl who first broke my heart when I was 18. So what!? No point looking too deep into it and thinking (I know you are) that he is wanting you because you look a bit like her. Rubbish! The bottom line is, he likes you for YOU. The fact you look like an ex is most likely just a coincidence. But some people have 'types' they MIGHT be more inclined to notice and seek above others. The whole 'blonde or brunette' thing. But not everyone. You must be his type, physically. And that's a good thing!
Author shibbikitteh Posted August 7, 2012 Author Posted August 7, 2012 Why would it be a bad thing? I can see your worry. I seem to look quite similar my my girlfriends' ex, I found that strange. She happens to look a lot like the girl who first broke my heart when I was 18. So what!? No point looking too deep into it and thinking (I know you are) that he is wanting you because you look a bit like her. Rubbish! The bottom line is, he likes you for YOU. The fact you look like an ex is most likely just a coincidence. But some people have 'types' they MIGHT be more inclined to notice and seek above others. The whole 'blonde or brunette' thing. But not everyone. You must be his type, physically. And that's a good thing! Thanks for this, you've put my mind at rest Ahhh, gosh, overthinking is one of my biggest flaws
The Way I Am Posted August 7, 2012 Posted August 7, 2012 We haven't had the "exes" conversation yet, but yesterday, we were having a coffee and I "full smiled" (teeth exposed ect) a few times, and each time he stared at me. I asked him, "what’s up?" to which he replied "Oh ! Uhm, nothing, you just remind me of someone when you smile" and then he changed the conversation. I don't want to be a downer here, but that worries me a little. There's nothing wrong with you looking like an ex. But the fact that he was noticeably distracted by you looking like her is concerning. It worries me that he's not quite over her. That might not be the case, but you might want to keep an eye out for other things that suggest he's not over the ex.
Dorie Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Thanks for this, you've put my mind at rest Ahhh, gosh, overthinking is one of my biggest flaws I'm not seeing anything to worry about frankly. Many of us have "types" . It's not as though he specifically targeted you on a conscious level because of the similarity to her. He likely just likes a general look and you have it.
Leopard Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I think it's bad. It could be bad because if you remind him too much of your ex, he may start using you as her replacement or as a rebound. Or if you remind him too much of her, the feelings he had for her might come up again. I know that whenever someone reminds me of my ex, I immediately take the attitude I take towards my ex (alpha douche etc) which is a bad thing, but I can't help it.
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