Author Coffee20 Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 myself I want between 25 - 30 I am 23
Silly_Girl Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 28-30. I'm 33. I'm going for an average of 30. I had one at 20, and I'm 36 now....
Stillgrowing Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 I married at 26, first kid at 31, second at 32. Perfect for me. Fortunately, no infertility issues. Had the second one so close to the first bc i was worried about secondary infertility which happened to lots of my friends. My kiddos are getting more self-sufficient, I can go out and feel like I'm still young enough to enjoy myself. I think I had more patience bc I was older when I had them. I think for me, any later in life and I'd just be exhausted. Depends on who you are and where you want to go in life. Sg 1
ScienceGal Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 I would like to have been married by now. I would like 1-2 children before I'm 36. (I'm 30 now)
Art_Critic Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 I used to say by 34 I'd have all the kids I wanted.. I used my 20's for my career.. Even though I was married (first wife) when I was 34 infertility issues prevented any kids being born. Well.. life has a way of changing your plans for you... I had my first and hopefully only child at 45.. so I guess I missed my projections 2
Author Coffee20 Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 maybe I would rather like to be married until 28 and then have first child by 32 max. or to be married at 30, really don't mind but I somehow think it will never happen, 23 and almost half .....I would like to date that person for a while and then live with that person for a while before marriage
samsungxoxo Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 Age to have kids: I don't want kids; have no desire for them Age for marriage: I calculate during my late 20's or early 30's I might sound weird but I just want a childfree marriage. 1
Author Coffee20 Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 Age to have kids: I don't want kids; have no desire for them Age for marriage: I calculate during my late 20's or early 30's I might sound weird but I just want a childfree marriage. no it's completely normal, at least you are honest
RiverRunning Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 Getting married at 25. Ideally, have kids between 26 - 28. My future sister-in-law's husband had testicular cancer and they were terrified that they had missed their opportunity to have kids. I've had several other friends who are now finding at 28-29 that they were not as fertile as they thought (after trying for kids, in some cases, for 2 - 3 years). FI has a co-worker who tried for a child from age 25 to age 35. She finally got pregnant right as she was about to finalize an adoption. FI is also turning 29 in a few months, and he feels ready to have a family. If we were both younger, we might wait a bit longer. I feel like the timing is perfect. We're not so young that we're worried about finishing our degrees/getting good or decent jobs. At the same time, we're not so old that it's a mad-dash rush to have kids in time. 1
veggirl Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 I'm 29. I've never really cared if I get married or have kids. If I marry a man who wants kids, I will have 1 or maaaybe 2. I would want to be 33 and 35 I think. No later than that. Lets say I marry my current bf...maybe at 31? then what I listed above. if it went that route. If it didn't, no problem. I am really fine either way, the only thing I would NOT be fine with is being someone's lifelong gf. BF and I have been together for a year, if we reach 2 and no serious marriage discussion, we'd have to have one and I'd leave him if marriage wasn't in the near future. he knows I'm not gonna be someone's gf for years and years and years. 2
Author Coffee20 Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 If it didn't, no problem. I am really fine either way, the only thing I would NOT be fine with is being someone's lifelong gf. BF and I have been together for a year, if we reach 2 and no serious marriage discussion, we'd have to have one and I'd leave him if marriage wasn't in the near future. he knows I'm not gonna be someone's gf for years and years and years. yes, I like this point, today I was thinking about it, I really can't imagine to be in long term relationship for years that would lead to nothing
Silly_Girl Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 yes, I like this point, today I was thinking about it, I really can't imagine to be in long term relationship for years that would lead to nothing Nothing? A happy relationship with someone you love isn't nothing, in my book. If it's only the wedding that matters then one can marry anyone... 1
pink_sugar Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 I got married at 19...but I don't want kids until I am AT LEAST 27 or 28. I want to enjoy my life a bit, have a career and travel before kids. A lot of people have them either young or older nowadays, but I think late twenties is the best time. Dependent on whether or not we are financially ready. 2
Author Coffee20 Posted July 31, 2012 Author Posted July 31, 2012 Nothing? A happy relationship with someone you love isn't nothing, in my book. If it's only the wedding that matters then one can marry anyone... it of course isn't nothing, but for now I am looking for someone who I could spend the rest of my life - it means who I would marry and have children I really can't imagine anymore being with someone for 10 years and then break up with him /from his side/, because then I am 33 and will get harder and harder to find serious relationship I just think about children more now and I don't know if I could really say that love exists , turned into pessimist
Author Coffee20 Posted July 31, 2012 Author Posted July 31, 2012 I got married at 19...but I don't want kids until I am AT LEAST 27 or 28. I want to enjoy my life a bit, have a career and travel before kids. A lot of people have them either young or older nowadays, but I think late twenties is the best time. Dependent on whether or not we are financially ready. I remember it was my dream to be married at 19 when I was younger , and the age for your future children is very nice .
Silly_Girl Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 it of course isn't nothing, but for now I am looking for someone who I could spend the rest of my life - it means who I would marry and have children I really can't imagine anymore being with someone for 10 years and then break up with him /from his side/, because then I am 33 and will get harder and harder to find serious relationship I just think about children more now and I don't know if I could really say that love exists , turned into pessimist I understand but you make it sound like marriage is the outcome. I'm older than you and to me to be in a fulfilling relationship which had everything except the marriage certificate is not to be scoffed at. I worry that young women (and men) can be overly focused on the outcomes (house like such and such, wedding by this age, children at these ages) and not appreciate life to the full as a result. It's possibly because I've done lots of life ar$e-about-face do I'm less invested in the route life takes. It's a humungous cliché but life IS the journey not the result. I'm not digging at you personally by the way, I'm just gabbling about stuff in general 1
Author Coffee20 Posted July 31, 2012 Author Posted July 31, 2012 I understand but you make it sound like marriage is the outcome. I'm older than you and to me to be in a fulfilling relationship which had everything except the marriage certificate is not to be scoffed at. I worry that young women (and men) can be overly focused on the outcomes (house like such and such, wedding by this age, children at these ages) and not appreciate life to the full as a result. It's possibly because I've done lots of life ar$e-about-face do I'm less invested in the route life takes. It's a humungous cliché but life IS the journey not the result. I'm not digging at you personally by the way, I'm just gabbling about stuff in general to be honest my naive picture in my head would look like that: To find a person who I would feel good with. I would enjoy my life with him and have great fun. The marriage wouldn't mean a paper but a celebration of our love. When when we are both matured enough we would have a child. I wouldn't put any age limit for marriage, but for woman it can be more dangerous to have children when she is closer to 40. And I don't want to have 20 years old child in my 60 . I do understand what you mean too.
Citizen Erased Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 I was 23 when I got married, I'll be 25 soon and I don't really want to wait much longer before we start trying. Within the next couple of years if it works out financially. I do have a medical condition that puts me at risk for late stage miscarriages so it'd be best when I'm younger. Plus I'm sure my husband would prefer to not be in his 40's before we have our first child. He is getting on in years. 2
Pyro Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 He is getting on in years. *My best Gordon Ramsey voice* Piss off. 3
Radu Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 (edited) Getting married at 25. Ideally, have kids between 26 - 28. My future sister-in-law's husband had testicular cancer and they were terrified that they had missed their opportunity to have kids. I've had several other friends who are now finding at 28-29 that they were not as fertile as they thought (after trying for kids, in some cases, for 2 - 3 years). FI has a co-worker who tried for a child from age 25 to age 35. She finally got pregnant right as she was about to finalize an adoption. FI is also turning 29 in a few months, and he feels ready to have a family. If we were both younger, we might wait a bit longer. I feel like the timing is perfect. We're not so young that we're worried about finishing our degrees/getting good or decent jobs. At the same time, we're not so old that it's a mad-dash rush to have kids in time. Many guys have fertility issues because of diet, cellphones, and even briefs play a part. Most can be fixed to some degree. I had no plan for kids in terms of when, how, who. I'm 29, and i hope to have some by 35. I'm going to use the next 5-6yrs for both career and relationships. For the country i live in, being unmarried and without kids at my age is like being the same at 39 in the west. Very very odd. If by 33-34 i don't have a serious meaningfull relationship, i will either adopt or rely on a surrogate mother in India. The ideea being that i want a family badly, but a woman in the picture doesn't necessarily need to come now ... or ever. I mean, we have been blessed with FWB and wild college girls. Nothing wrong with keeping your target demographic the same. Edited July 31, 2012 by Radu
Author Coffee20 Posted July 31, 2012 Author Posted July 31, 2012 now I think about having FWB or some relationship with someone and don't plan or think about marriage, children and simply enjoy the relationship or to really look for a man who would like to have marriage and children in the future that's tough
pink_sugar Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 I understand but you make it sound like marriage is the outcome. I'm older than you and to me to be in a fulfilling relationship which had everything except the marriage certificate is not to be scoffed at. I worry that young women (and men) can be overly focused on the outcomes (house like such and such, wedding by this age, children at these ages) and not appreciate life to the full as a result. It's possibly because I've done lots of life ar$e-about-face do I'm less invested in the route life takes. It's a humungous cliché but life IS the journey not the result. I'm not digging at you personally by the way, I'm just gabbling about stuff in general ' I agree to some extent that while you cannot control when and whom you fall in love with, you have more control over your life than you think. Birth control has made it easier for women as far as family planning. Say I can easily make sure I don't have kids at a really young age, when I'm not ready. Before anyone says anything about birth control not working, it's a very, very small percentage, less than 1% and that's usually if you're not using it right, not because of the birth control itself. 1
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