mister_nonameuk Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 Prelude: A few weeks ago I made a silly mistake by agreeing to embark on a “let’s see how it goes” scenario. I knew A (let’s call her A) liked me more then I do/did her but I told her explicitly that I wasn’t promising nor was I expecting anything. She confessed never having had a fling before but was happy to meet up in the context of “let’s have fun, let’s see how it goes”. We went out for dinner and came back to mine for dessert. We started kissing on the sofa, we proceeded to the bedroom, but then it became awkward. She didn’t want to take off her bra and it all got uncomfortable…I stopped immediately and we talked about it. She admitted that she couldn’t “do casual” and just have fun. Although I tried to assure her that we didn’t need to carry on and that everything was ok and nobody needed to feel guilty, embarrassed or bad about the situation, she quickly got dressed again and left. The day after, she texted me saying she was feeling awful. Again I tried to reassure her, saying that nobody was to blame, that we should move on and this clearly wasn’t the right thing to do. I suggested to forget about it and to be friends, as we were before. A week later she brings me home cooked food to work…to make it up to me… I was touched and conveyed my gratitude…in person and afterwards by texting her again. I thought that was really sweet of her. However, when she texted me back to saying she liked me and if I ever wanted to take things more slowly, I knew how to find her… I didn’t reply and when she sent a group email to invite people for a farewell party I didn’t do…she has moved to another branch… Anyway, haven’t heard from her since and thought that this was “sorted”… Main act: 3 weeks later, I met B. when I had some business in another section of the company. I felt attracted to her, generated a conversation out of thin air just to talk to her for a bit longer. After 30 min I asked her for her number and she gave it to me. We met a few days later for coffee and cake and the date lasted 6 hours…we had such a good time that we forgot about time. I had a very good feeling about the whole thing and when I wanted to text her the next morning, to say that I had enjoyed our date, she had already texted me saying exactly that. I suggested to meet again and to go to the cinema. So we decided to meet a few days later to do that. On the day we are meant to meet, I received a text from A. She texts saying: You really know how to make a girl feel bad. I reply: why? She: You have only been out on a date with my best friend! My heart sank when I read that text. So I called her. A never told B about that akward evening but now that B had told her about our date, A told B everything that had happened. She also said that B would probably not see me again…at least she said she wouldn’t do that to her, bla bla bla. I apologised to A but also explained that we weren’t meant to be for whatever reason, but I really liked B and that I would be grateful if she could be supportive (wishful thinking in a desperate moment). We ended the conversation in a reasonably normal way. I could obviously sense that A was hurt (as she felt rejected)… I texted B , saying I still wanted to meet and explain my side of the story. She agreed to meet and so we did. I expected her to be mad or something but she was her normal self, gave me a kiss on the cheek and we sat down and talked. I explained what had happened as described above… said I wasn’t interested in A…that I had been thinking about her (B) everyday since we first met. I thought that in this sort of situation I had to let her know the truth. I felt that I hadn’t done anything wrong as far as the scenario with A is concerned. We were both single, agreed on casual before meeting, didn’t work, talked it out and we moved on… B said that she was shocked, that she could understand why A is hurt, but she also said that she liked me and that she wanted to see me. We would have to take things very slowly and that hopefully in time A would be ok with it. I felt a bit relieved. We finished coffee and decided to go for the film. In the cinema, I couldn’t help but kiss her. She kissed me back. At times I felt she was more intimate at times more distant. After the film we sat down and she was obviously feeling bad and guilty as if she was betraying A. She told me she needed to take her time to think about how to convey it to A. What I forgot to mention is that this happened a week before B was about to fly abroad on a long holiday with another friend for 6 weeks. So I asked her if I could see her before her trip. She was vague and said she needed to talk to A and we didn’t agree on much. We said goodbye with a hesitant kiss. The next day, I texted to see how she was. No reply. I waited 2 days. Next text sent, asking how she was and if we could meet before her trip. No reply. Another 2 days later she replies apologising for not replying earlier, that she was still trying to her head around the whole thing and that she was grateful for the space I was giving her. I replied a day later saying what I had said before, that I was thinking about her every day, that I could understand how difficult it is for her and that I also hope that she can find a way for us to be together. I then suggested to talk, on the phone or in person, about everything before she goes on her 6 week trip. Well, I haven’t heard from her since that last text message which is 2 weeks ago. So what shall I do? Send her another text? Wait for her to come back and then text? Or wait to hear from her? Provided I will ever hear from her again… I liked her but I am no doormat. I don’t think she is treating me fairly. Why can’t she text me? If she doesn’t want to see me again, fine…at least I can deal with it now and move on…and not wait 6 weeks to be told. On the other hand, if she does want to see me again, I fear that this sort of thing could happen again. I mean this playing mind games…she knows the deal, the ball is in her court. She either doesn’t want to play ball or she is being strategic… Anyway, I thought I tell you my story and I would be grateful for some constructive opinions. Many thanks…
rocketman122 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 I would be grateful for some constructive opinions. sure.. smaller paragraphs..its easier on the eyes. when I see that chunk above, I simply pass. im sorry.. I only read your bottom 2-3 sentences but if she's ignoring you, she doesnt deserve your love. its common courtesy. good luck
Balzac Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 You've got 6+ weeks to find a new willing girl. You've not committed to anything. I say walk away.
Imajerk17 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 I would say that B chose her best friend A over you.
Recommended Posts