Jamesblame Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 My wishy-washy ex just contacted me yesterday apologizing for not responding to a friendship email I sent her saying, "I had a really bad night." A. asked me if I was ok just being friends with her. We've been separated for about 6 months She then went on to tell me that: 1. She went on several dates and felt like she was cheating on me the whole time. 2. Thinks that I've changed a lot since the break up and seem to be more ambitious-- In other words I got a job with an impressive title (thanks for not being there for me when I was struggling btw ) 3. Her family loves me 4. Her friends often tell her that I was much better than anyone she was dating. In fact only one of her friends dislikes me. 5. She thinks I "look great in your new photos " 6. She's admitted to being afraid that if I get into a relationship my new gf 's friends and families will replace hers. 7. She told me that I make her laugh, she can talk to me for hours, and that she knew I loved her--and she doesn't want to lose that. 8. She thinks we're very different people from how we broke up (and there are some intense changes on both parts), and she (95 %) wants to get back together. In fact she went so far as to buy a plane ticket to where I live. I don't know exactly what to do. On one hand I'm well on to moving on. The last real barrier I have is getting into a relationship with another woman (I've had great dates along the way). It doesn't bother me thinking of her with other guys, and what I really miss is her friendship. But She was also my first real relationship and love. And since we have changed our bad behaviors, it's possible that she could compliment my new life. Part of me wants to get back together with her, because my own hang ups on how I failed the relationship. I like the idea of staying with my first love...and even if it's risky, I figure it could be worthwhile. Opinions? I really do care for her happiness, and being with her makes me really happy and content.
ihateslowjams Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 My wishy-washy ex just contacted me yesterday apologizing for not responding to a friendship email I sent her saying, "I had a really bad night." A. asked me if I was ok just being friends with her. We've been separated for about 6 months She then went on to tell me that: 1. She went on several dates and felt like she was cheating on me the whole time. 2. Thinks that I've changed a lot since the break up and seem to be more ambitious-- In other words I got a job with an impressive title (thanks for not being there for me when I was struggling btw ) 3. Her family loves me 4. Her friends often tell her that I was much better than anyone she was dating. In fact only one of her friends dislikes me. 5. She thinks I "look great in your new photos " 6. She's admitted to being afraid that if I get into a relationship my new gf 's friends and families will replace hers. 7. She told me that I make her laugh, she can talk to me for hours, and that she knew I loved her--and she doesn't want to lose that. 8. She thinks we're very different people from how we broke up (and there are some intense changes on both parts), and she (95 %) wants to get back together. In fact she went so far as to buy a plane ticket to where I live. I don't know exactly what to do. On one hand I'm well on to moving on. The last real barrier I have is getting into a relationship with another woman (I've had great dates along the way). It doesn't bother me thinking of her with other guys, and what I really miss is her friendship. But She was also my first real relationship and love. And since we have changed our bad behaviors, it's possible that she could compliment my new life. Part of me wants to get back together with her, because my own hang ups on how I failed the relationship. I like the idea of staying with my first love...and even if it's risky, I figure it could be worthwhile. Opinions? I really do care for her happiness, and being with her makes me really happy and content. Questions for you: how long were you guys together for? what were the reasons she gave you for the BU? and did you go full NC right after? or a few bits of contact here and there? who initiated those?
Author Jamesblame Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 We were separated for 6 months. We had a serious relationship lasting 3 years. We had an amicable break up, and a month ago I tried to reconcile and she told me that she just didn't have feelings for me. We did NC for two periods both only lasting about a month. She would break the no contact with emails and texts regretting losing me. The most recent NC ended about a week ago. Now simultaneously my facebook page has recently been flooded with posts from a close female fried I have. (we resumed a friendship so I added her back to FB) . There's chemistry between us...but it clearly wouldn't work out for several reasons. All the same we tag each other when going out and what not.
BooBoo1982 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 If you wanted to reconcile a month ago then why not just go for it now? You've both had time to think and change any bad habits, what have you got to lose?
ihateslowjams Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 If you want to reconcile, then go have dinner with her and see if she is still someone you want to be with. Just remember, she might have changed during your time apart. You can't just expect to jump back into the relationship from where you left it off. I believe successful reconciliations only happen when you both see it as a new relationship, different from the old. Take things slowly if you decide to go and meet with her. However, if you don't think its you can handle the possibility of her changing her mind real soon about the reconciliation, then don't go and save yourself from the misery.
Author Jamesblame Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 Eh waste of time. Just a long convoluted Bread Crumb... haha
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