k100danny Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 It's been 18 days since I sent my final goodbye message to my ex and thoughts of her the last 24 hours have been the worst yet. I'm not finding the NC hard at all and I'm not tempted to contact her at all but the last 24 hours I have dreamt about her, felt very sad and wishing things were the way they were ect. I have recently been out with a girl a couple of times, I have known her a while and we kind of had a bit of a crush thing going on before I got into a relationship. we both arent really looking for a relationship as we are both just out of one but we have spent a bit of time together. I am at the stage were I can imagine being with someone else or so I thought but last night this girl stayed over at mine (no sex just a bit of kissing) and thoughts and feeling came rushing back, It sounds silly but they like the same type of things on tv ect and just laying there with someone as nice as it was just brought back a lot of memories. Today I fell asleep in the afternoon for an hour and dreamt of my ex AGAIN. It's been 7 weeks since we broke up and she has been seeing someone for a few weeks or so I think and we werent that close for the month before the break up actually happened so is this normal? I thought I had an anxious attachment style and had been told finding a few interest can help get over your ex ect. Now as i say i wasn't looking for a relationship and i'm still not but they say the interest from someone else can help you move on. I feel like i've taken 10 steps back today.
Chi townD Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 Dreams happen, nothing you can do about that. But, they're only temporary. They should start to fade with a little more time. This is completely normal.
Pod81 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 Chi is right. I dreamed about my ex either everyday or every other day for the about the first 2 weeks after NC...and I know how discouraging that is! Then, it was down to once every 3 or 4 days for about a week or two. Now (6 weeks NC), it's down to about once a week and there are even some mornings when I wake up and don't think about her! Just let this progression of time happen naturally and before you realize it, you'll be dreaming of her less and less!
Author k100danny Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 Yeah I suppose this is normal. I haven't had many dreams of her since we broke up bt twice in 24 hours made me think it was a set back. I don't see myself as back to square one or anything like that I just thought I had managed to put her out of my mind with some effort of course. I think I have actually been trying not to think of her though, everytime she came into my mind i tried to ignore it or occupy myself which is obviously not moving on just getting better at not thinking of her. I thought I had got past the stage where you stomach drops thinking of her but I've had that a few times over the last couple of days. I've not been tempted to contact her though even regarding the watch I asked for back 18 days ago, I am still waiting for this to be returned but I no longer fear the post man although this is what one of my dreams was about. The package came back and she had returned the watch, all the picture she asked for of me just before we broke up and a letter than I didnt get chance to read in the dream. Time is the greatest healer and all that I know it will take time to get over it and im not forcing myself anymore, it will come naturally and I won't be pushing myself to move on just because she has as this will lead to another bad relationship. Thanks guys
SoConfusedAndInShock Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 (edited) Chi is right. I dreamed about my ex either everyday or every other day for the about the first 2 weeks after NC...and I know how discouraging that is! Then, it was down to once every 3 or 4 days for about a week or two. Now (6 weeks NC), it's down to about once a week and there are even some mornings when I wake up and don't think about her! Just let this progression of time happen naturally and before you realize it, you'll be dreaming of her less and less! wow that's like exactly what i went though. almost a month of NC here. the dreams were constant (i was so scared to even go to sleep caz he was constantly on my mind day and night) i feel better at times but some days are harder. sometimes after having dreams about him i get the urge to pick up my phone and text him caz i miss him beyond words can describe and im still very much in love with him....BUT you know what i do? SMACK MY HAND AND PUT THE PHONE DOWN. lol OR i just call my best friend and we talk about it for hours so by the time i get off the phone the urge has faded away. when ur mind is playing games with you, try to find a way to win it back so mistakes don't happen. WE (the dumpees) CANNOT afford any error or mistake during the NC period so i challenge you to get to that one month mark as im getting there myself. trust me i never thought i would say this to myself let alone anyone else a few days ago. Now its a routine. When and IF they want us, they WILL come back weather you bug em or not. but i've learned a lot from LS that the quicker you let go, the better your chances are to recover soon and for them to say "WTH have i done?" you're not alone. hope that helps...learn from each other Edited July 30, 2012 by SoConfusedAndInShock
Author k100danny Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 I don't have any urge to break the no contact, I have many excuses to do so about things that need returning and so on for both of us but I really have not come close to breaking it since I decided to block her. Those things can be done when I can deal with her without feeling anything.
SeventhFloor Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 22 days here. Had the dreams too. Don't so much anymore...well occasionally. She's not ALWAYS the first thought on my mind in the morning. Not always. Keep strong buddy
hk_1 Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 I still see my ex in my dream at least twice a year with whom I broke up 12 years back, for a day or two I think about her and then again I totally forget; the same happened when I quit smoking I used to see myself smoking in my dream but after sometime I stopped dreaming about smoking. You can live a normal life without getting back to her in every way .
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