irc333 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 In a recent thread, approaching store clerks or front desk workers Someone responded saying they used to manage stores, and labeled men as a , how she put it "A Class 'A' Jerk" for doing so. See, people like the responding poster are part of the problem. But I'm noticing among women who find that a man is a "jerk" if she approaches a woman basically ANYWHERE. The Gym, the store, etc. Women have closed off almost all traditional avenues (other than a social network of friends) of being approached. If you're a woman, and you consider a man a "class A Jerk" for approaching you at a venue that you think he should KNOW better not to approach you.....then I'm sorry, you have issues. I usually don't bash people personally on here, but.....I figured I'd call it out as SOON as I saw this unwarranted response from this former retail manager. I mean, it's literally turned into a "You MUST reserve the right to say "Hello" to me!"
EasyHeart Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 I don't think there's anything wrong with approaching in public. I've done it many times with varying levels of success. But you should keep in mind that attractive women who work with the public get hit on ALL THE TIME, so it can sometimes get annoying for them. My GF has one of those jobs and she gets hit on at least five times a day. For the most part, she just considers it part of her job, but if she's busy or frazzled or just having a bad day or the guy is very persistent, it really pisses her off. So I guess my point is that she may look like she's alone and available, but the reality is that you're competing with (literally) hundreds of guys who are thinking exactly the same way you are.
iris219 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 I think CarrieT found the thread condescending in your assumption that there are all these women in the workplace who don’t do anything at all. She found that to be a false assumption; her response was about you believing that women in jobs like retail do nothing but text all day, not about approaching women. 3
Author irc333 Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 I am not so sure about that, I'm sure it's geographical location, but probably in big cities they get hit on a lot. But....smaller communities, probably not as much. Esp. if the place is dead with customers. But in smaller communities it's likely to be married or have a boyfriend anyhow. But I'm really making a point here that some women just don't lighten up on men. I've actually had female friends TELL me that they'd never be a man when it comes to dating FOR this very reason. I don't think there's anything wrong with approaching in public. I've done it many times with varying levels of success. But you should keep in mind that attractive women who work with the public get hit on ALL THE TIME, so it can sometimes get annoying for them. My GF has one of those jobs and she gets hit on at least five times a day. For the most part, she just considers it part of her job, but if she's busy or frazzled or just having a bad day or the guy is very persistent, it really pisses her off. So I guess my point is that she may look like she's alone and available, but the reality is that you're competing with (literally) hundreds of guys who are thinking exactly the same way you are.
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 What exactly is "the dating problem" of which you speak? I'm sure that the reasonable people among us agree that the problems people are having in dating are not attributable to one specific gender. 1
RedRobin Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 OP, I'm totally fine with men approaching me IRL... Total strangers, even. All of my dates the past few months came from 'warm' approaches. I call it 'warm' because they took the effort to chat me up a bit and vice versa. I didn't assume guys are trying to hit on me or sex me up when they talk to me. Just two people making conversation. BUT, since they are total strangers... I'm treating them as such when we go on our date(s). Guys who assume my openness to their cold approaches = easy find out otherwise. ... to the comments on the other thread... Some consideration might be given to the fact that the person IS working. When you approach them, some attempt to figure out if you are interrupting their work might be in order... ... or just ask sincere questions about the product they are selling and go from there. Good luck!!
Author irc333 Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 ... or just ask sincere questions about the product they are selling and go from there. Good luck!! Yeppers, just pick a product you see on the counter and ask about it. You kind of have to wing it. lol
Emilia Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 No I don't mind approaching at all, I talk to people in all sorts of places. The only time when I like quiet is when I'm reading in a park or coffee shop. That's never an issue though
jcrew11 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 You're just caught up in the bitterness of dating. Its a tough world out there. If you're bothering girls while they work, then you're probably not flirting/approaching correctly. Maybe you're just really unattractive (no offense) and you're just annoying women. I think most women are willing to spare a few minutes to talk to a good-looking suave guy. If guys come off as too needy and aggressive, then that is a real turn-off especially if they are at work, trying to do their job, and not get fired by their manager. Have a reason to talk to them at the store, instead of just bothering them about something unrelated. If its a hot girl, the odds are that she already has a boyfriend as gets hit on all the time.
jcrew11 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 I am not so sure about that, I'm sure it's geographical location, but probably in big cities they get hit on a lot. But....smaller communities, probably not as much. Esp. if the place is dead with customers. But in smaller communities it's likely to be married or have a boyfriend anyhow. But I'm really making a point here that some women just don't lighten up on men. I've actually had female friends TELL me that they'd never be a man when it comes to dating FOR this very reason. I think there are just too many creepers, players, and cheaters out there that women just have their guards up because they've been played so many times. Women are more independent these days and don't necessarily need a man for food and shelter. I think the key is to find situations where you can be seen as an reliable and trustworthy guy, perhaps at Church or some other non-sketchy function.
fortyninethousand322 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 99% of the world is part of any problem you can identify, dating or otherwise. What makes women so special?
grkBoy Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 It's the old reality... If she thinks you're hot/attractive/desirable, then you may flirt with her, hit on her, ask her out, etc. You are a prime piece of male in her eyes. If she does not think you're hot/attractive/desirable, then you are a creepy guy in her eyes, and no amount of persistence or attempts at being charming will change her mind. If you get mean/snotty, then you're a jerk in her eyes. BUT...when she's older, never married, and can't seem to figure out why her picture-perfect dream man never came...it's her own fault. And before vehrzn steps in...you at least try and date a variety of men. So I won't lump you in that. I'm speaking of the women who believe they "deserve" a hot alpha male, laugh off all the average guys, and then lament later on her chronic singledom.
DreamerDeceiver Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 I don't care what anyone says; a woman loves to be approached any time, anywhere, whatever she's doing. Think of it from her point of view, it's flattering, since most males are too wussy to approach in the first place. If she's in the middle of something, it takes a more-confident-than-most male to initiate a conversation, and what woman doesn't want that? All the better if you're good looking. If you "get rejected" it's her loss. Approaching women is a hot topic among men for two reasons: 1) Requires good amounts of masculine fortitude to do so without getting butthurt; 2) Men over-rationalize and add BS on top of the simplicity of approaching women to rationalize their failures, and lack of trying.
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