dark1san Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 Met this gal, really into her. First one I've met since I've put myself back into the dating field that's actually held a conversation on the phone and not just texted me. The other night she's like, come meet me, I don't want to wait for our lunch date, just come meet me. So I did. Get out of the car, very first thing she does is say how cute I am, comes over gives me a hug then kisses me. Just planted one on me. Broke my fist cardinal rule, "I don't kiss on the first meeting" ever. But we did. Didn't have a real "date date", just stood there in the parking lot and talked, then took her for a ride to see things in the area so she knew where things were. Got back and made out for a while in the parking lot before parting ways. Talked to her earlier today, and things were cool, then around 8-9 oclock got a text from her about things in her head spinning and just being stressed out. How she's never met a guy like me, who's nice, and she's afraid of me, and she don't want to be hurt, she just wants me to be understanding, and she's not sure what's going on. So we meet up again to talk in person, same thing no date date, basically sat in her car, talked, and made out. She told me how her friend was like, what the hell is wrong with you, you got this nice guy right in front of your face, and you're confused to what you want. Throw away the *******, and make yourself happy for once. I told her I don't want to rush into a relationship fast, I am willing to take it slow with her, I don't want to see or talk to anyone else until I'm sure one way or the other what's up with me and her, and asked if she'd promise to do the same, give me a chance with her before she would anyone else. Is that too much to ask? To have a chance to go out with her and see if anything develops before she gives someone else a chance? I don't know how things are, but I don't think you'd have a make out session with a guy two nights in a row if you weren't interested in him?
utterer of lies Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 "I don't kiss on the first meeting" I told her I don't want to rush into a relationship fast, I am willing to take it slow with her, I don't want to see or talk to anyone else until I'm sure one way or the other what's up with me and her, and asked if she'd promise to do the same, give me a chance with her before she would anyone else. What's wrong with you? It seems to me you are trying to force a jump from her dating pool into her friend zone. You had two dates, and they were great. They were real dates, talking and making out is what matters. Don't wait. Don't tell her you will wait. Don't tell her you are an option instead of a one time chance.
Author dark1san Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 Because she said she's afraid of how nice I am. She's never been treated like that by a guy before.
Author dark1san Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 Wait a minute, how do I judge what you're telling me is truths that you speak, when your name is Utterer of lies? 2
utterer of lies Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 Because she said she's afraid of how nice I am. She's never been treated like that by a guy before. We all know that women always treat the nice guys right, and ignore the bad boys for them.... yeah right. Wait a minute, how do I judge what you're telling me is truths that you speak, when your name is Utterer of lies? Believe me or not, it's your choice. But I am telling you: don't wait too long. Don't be so nice she wants you as a friend instead of a lover.
Ninjainpajamas Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 You've got go with the "flow" because there really is no rules in dating, If you try and control the situation that's only going to last for so long before something gives...it always does. You've made out with this girl, maybe she came on too strong for you and broke your pace of things but at this point instead of over-thinking it you've got to go with the flow and If you like the girl that much and have no issues/reasons to hold back then just dive into it. Is she emotionally unstable? likely. Is she the type that wears her heart on her sleeve? yes Does she probably get fked over by a lot of douchebag(s) because of it and that's why she's afraid to trust a man? yes Women don't think logically when it comes to dating, regardless of the circumstance...one they like you, once their emotions are high and they are interested all that **** typically goes out the window except for a little reservation because of their past experiences...this is another reason why older men go for younger women even, the smaller that reservation is the more she will go with the flow. So this girl obviously sounds young, naive, insecure and the heart on her sleeve type, which basically means what you see is what you get, she's not thinking...you're a thinker, she's a feeler, the sooner you get that through your head the better off you're going to be because none or most of the things she's going to do are going to make "sense". She moves on the fast track, this is typical...most women think they next guy is different from the rest, that's the way they think..if they thought you were the same then why would they date you? however women are typically attracted to certain men (mainly jerks who don't give them the time of day and attention) so a "nice" guy like you dating a girl who's used to dating girls like that...what do you think she's going to do? she's not going be used to the dynamic, she'll look at the lack of drama as boring and the fact that you're straight forward and honest will just be unappealing to her because she might not love herself and respect herself enough to know a person who really wants to be with her is a good thing, she needs that validation from the guy that doesn't want to feel "important", needed and wanted...typical daddy issues. You gotta make a choice... A) Be aggressive, stop over-thinking it and just go for it, go with the flow...push the envelope yourself. If you're a good guy it will show and trust that, you definitely sound like the type that is too conservative and slow though, women want excitement, to be intrigued, to feel progression, tension, etc...not "oh look at this nice reserved guy that's nice but just sits there starring at me trying to figure this all out and not making any moves". So plainly as man to man, just step up the challenge and start reacting and going with it or as the Beetles say "You're going to looooose that giiirrrl" B) Maintain this over-thinking, hesitant state, let her overlook you and not spark any romantic interest because there's no tension or extreme lack of aggression on your part so she moves on to someone else and you get pissed and blame the jerks because you couldn't adapt and step up the plate C) Determine you want to be with a different type of girl than this...someone more conservative, closer to your pace so you feel like a man initiating it all instead of a woman aggressively acting on the physical intimacy, that you feel more confident in control and see eye to eye with...this girl might be too fast of a car for you to drive. I know I kinda make it sound like you're acting like p@ssy, but honestly you are...start swinging the bat because the pitches are being thrown and you're just watching them going by thinking "did we start yet? what's going on her, do I swing?...wait wait let me process this and get ready" Don't be that "aww im too nice for her bit" because you've still gotta be a "man" being nice and respectful doesn't get tossed to the way side just because you're being aggressive/assertive. It's just an excuse to tell yourself that does you no good, so you're a nice guy and you lose? congratulations. 1
danm Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 Fantastic post above. Probably one of the best I've read on here!
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