Author sendme Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 Kat zee... he confessed to the original cheating, and he bragged about this one... in my gut, my instincts I know you're right.. I know he did this because he wants out... it's easier on him that way... to move on and find someone new and not have to work to clean up the mess he made... but my heart is begging and pleading for that not to be the case... for him to want ME, and to do anything to be with ME>...... we went to one counseling session and it was amazing... I'm hoping maybe we can go to the one we have scheduled this week... He initiated contact this morning, but really had very little to say, and then the call dropped, I called him back and he sent me one text that said "call dropped checking out" I replied please say something more... and now its back to radio silence... man... this guy is really done with me for whatever reason and I just don't want to believe it...
KatZee Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 Yeah it's sucks, I know. I've been there. But he ruined you guys. He's the one that dropped the ball. HE'S the one that needs to put forth the effort. Not you. So stop trying to ask him to make it work, stop asking him to show you he wants it to work. This effort needs to come from his desire to do it, not because you've pushed him to. Just put your phone away. Go outside. Take back your power.
SeventhFloor Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 How many times throughout the night did we say, "Don't talk to him. It will only cause you pain. DON'T talk to him!" Now you've poked the porcupine and you wonder why your hand is bleeding. 5 pages of help, advice, and love for you, and this is what you do? How can you expect anyone to say anything other than, "You did this to yourself."
ihateslowjams Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 How many times throughout the night did we say, "Don't talk to him. It will only cause you pain. DON'T talk to him!" Now you've poked the porcupine and you wonder why your hand is bleeding. 5 pages of help, advice, and love for you, and this is what you do? How can you expect anyone to say anything other than, "You did this to yourself." My sacrifice of sleep was in vain... -_-
KatZee Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 LOL .... I love these threads. "Hey let me go date someone that I know is going to screw me over and then act surprised and panic when it actually happens and then chase him and cause mass amounts of drama in my life" I have absolutely no sympathy or empathy for you. You knew it was coming http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/337116-abuser-love-my-life Yet here you are panicking like its a "SHOCK" to you and now you want more then anything for him to be back in your life. Your love map is so messed up. Think drama and infatuation = love. Oh shiii*t... she's THIS girl? I totally didn't do the research... Girl... I don't know what else to do but shake my head at you. I thought I gave a pretty damn good answer on that thread too. You made your choice, and you really shouldn't be surprised. I feel REAL bad for the guy that actually loves you.
veggirl Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 omg you do not need to go to counseling WITH this guy, you need to go ALONE and repair yourself, fix the part of you that accepts this nasty behavior from a man and then actually freaking still hopes HE will want YOU. of course he knows all he has to do is give you a fake "oh sorry lol was so drunk" and you will forgive him. that is soo sad. he has you wrapped around his finger and will use his power over you as long as you give it to him I know you will take him back, this cycle will continue...i feel bad for you...why don't you cancel the couples counseling and make an appointment asap for JUST YOU?
Author sendme Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 uggghhhh.... I'm sorry, you're lack of sleep wasn't in vain... I wouldn't have made it through the night without you.... I'd love to say I could just walk away, but I couldn't sleep did not sleep a wink until he called, and then I slept... it's more than he has me wrapped around his little finger, this guy is in my head... and you're right he probably knows it... I went to campus today to talk about taking the steps to transfer, I told my advisor everything, and he's talking to the dean... in all honesty with this guy living next door I won't be successful here, and I won't be able to cut it off... he's too close... if he wasn't right next door, if I didn't have to drive by his apartment every day to get to mine, I might be able to manage... but he is... this guy is my whole experience in this location... I do realize I have issues, and I did set up an individual session just for me... tomorrow afternoon... I sort of felt a breeze shift... as though ya'll just said "meh, girl got what she was asking for" that sucks.... nobody deserves this... and to be honest before I met this guy I never thought I'd be stuck in this cycle... seriously it messes with your head, with you physiologically, everything is thrown off track... that being said... we've talked a day, and yep he's still a jerk, he actually asked me to run to the store to pick him up something... as though everything was just fine and absolutely normal.... I'm not sure who is more messed up me or him, but I absolutely know that I am the only one suffering...
zanzi Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 I dont blame you, sendme. After my ex broke up with me I did more then my share of calling him up and going " please don't hang up j, jay wait....let me just....busy are you?....need time to think do you? well guess what...wait wait...argh." what I was really screaming was THIS HURTS IM NEEDY I NEED YOU ARGH WHY. Too needy. Way. Too needy. Which would scare anybody away. especially an ex. All of us begged our exes to take us back with the exception of a few... tell me you didn't and I won't completely believe it in fact I won't believe it one bit. Because all of us want to be loved. We aren't unfeeling. C'mon. Tell me you didn't beg your ex just like sendme. Everybody begs. we all rehearse what we would say to them if we could see them, pouring our hearts out, or confronting them with anger. But now you've done that you need to be strong, sendme. You need to implement the healing power of NC.
Author sendme Posted September 5, 2012 Author Posted September 5, 2012 wow.... so here's a killer update... I took him back... stupid me... and come to find out... that girl he made out with in the bar in New York, back in July, well they exchanged numbers and she's been sexting him this whole time.... I just found all the pictures in his email.... yep... I'm an idiot....
Author sendme Posted September 5, 2012 Author Posted September 5, 2012 we went to couples therapy, he's been freaking out jealous because I've been studying all the time... and all the while he's been getting naked pictures of another woman.... I'm an effing idiot...
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