sendme Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 my bf cheated, I just found out a week ago... now he's traveling for business... its 3 am where he is... and he is MIA.... who the hell does this... even if he's not cheating... why would you treat someone who is giving you a second chance with such little regard? this is absolutely insane... I'm sitting here going crazy, I want to scream at him, to make him see that I am amazing and deserve better.... and yet I'm trying so hard not to freak out on him.... how do I walk away... I really want to work things out with him... whats the matter with me I should just be DONE.... ugggghhh someone please give me there strength so I can get this jerk out of my life FOREVER!!!
Author sendme Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 ok he's definitely up to something... he just sent me straight to voicemail.... What kind of guy starts the night off with a text that says... "I want you so bad" and then pulls this crap... Oh my stars in heaven... let me have the strength to get rid of him for good after this!
dreamingoftigers Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 You just cut him out and block him. Any unfinished business between the two of you?
Author sendme Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 oh my God... he got back to his room, I called him in his room... told him that after cheating on me it wasn't ok for him to go out to the bars while traveling... told him it wasn't okay for him to go MIA... I yelled and got angry... he apologized and then got defensive and said he didn't do anything wrong... then I said that if he didn't think he did anything wrong there was nothing left between us... I said if he wanted to be a single man he should be a single man, but if he wanted to be with me he should have gotten dinner in his room and stayed in and talked and chatted with me... or gone out to a quick dinner and been back to his room in an hour... we fought via text back and forth... he went down to the hotel bar... sent me a picture that said ten minutes for this girl to tell me i was beautiful, and another ten for this girl to tell me how lucky she was I kissed her. he sent me a picture of the girl who told him he was beautiful and a picture of the girl he was kissing... I am so crushed... it's 1:30 am.... who is this cruel.... we had sex this morning... how could he... I wish this all was just some terrible nightmare....
Author sendme Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 I'm shaking and sad... and wish this was just some terrible nightmare....
Author sendme Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 how is this really happening... I feel so alone... he's been so terrible that I haven't told anyone we're back together, so I don't even have a friend to talk to about this....
livelife Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 What an ass. Block his number, block his facebook, block his twitter. EVERYTHING so he can't contact you.
zanzi Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 dont rise to his bait. He is vindictively trying to hurt you on purpose. make it clear that you are done with him and then delete the pictures and his number. Your silence from then on to him will be more powerful then words, and shatter his ego. Dont keep feeding his ego. 1
Author sendme Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 I know he only did it to hurt me... he did and said all the usual stuff he does and says to hurt me and I kept saying that he could sling all the arrows he wanted to but they wouldn't hit their mark and hurt me, because I saw them for what they were, desperate attempts by a wounded man to avoid intimacy and emotion... which was true, he was saying all these awful things and they weren't getting to me... He knew this would get me... and boy has it.... what am I supposed to do now.... I can't even breath....
Author sendme Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 how could you do that... earlier today he was saying he loved me and wanted to marry me..... why would you want to hurt someone so deeply.... I deleted him, but I want to keep checking... to see if he has something to say... like maybe these are old pictures, but I know they're not... he's wearing what he left the house in this morning, and I know what pictures are on his phone..... I have to start medical school in three days... how could he destroy me like this right before school....
Author sendme Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 I am so hurt!!!! I just want this to be some bad dream.... I wish there was something someone could say or do to make this stop... this heartache, this sickness in my stomach... I feel like I've just been kicked in the gut....
Author sendme Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 who are these women... who meet a guy in a bar and in a few minutes are all over him....
SeventhFloor Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 What the ****ing ****. Delete his number. Turn off your phone. Call the phone company in the morning and BLOCK HIS NUMBER. Get on Facebook right now. Delete him. Block his email. Block ALL access he has to ever contact you in any way, shape or form. IT IS REALLY HARD BUT IT IS MORE THAN WORTH IT TO DO IT RIGHT NOW. It will hurt but what will hurt even more is his continuing cruelty. If you do not do this, then I will come over there and do it for you. Do not ever talk to him again. He is dead to you. Please, realize that we are here to support you. I'm sorry it had to go down like this. Now you know his true colors.
ihateslowjams Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 I know he only did it to hurt me... he did and said all the usual stuff he does and says to hurt me and I kept saying that he could sling all the arrows he wanted to but they wouldn't hit their mark and hurt me, because I saw them for what they were, desperate attempts by a wounded man to avoid intimacy and emotion... which was true, he was saying all these awful things and they weren't getting to me... He knew this would get me... and boy has it.... what am I supposed to do now.... I can't even breath.... Sendme... what does this guy have that you can't walk away from??? cmon, you can do much better than that. I read a couple of your other threads really quickly since its super late here, but you're choosing the wrong type of guys... Honestly, i think you need to walk away from this relationship you're currently hurting from, and take some time for yourself and only yourself. Lay low from relationships for a bit and do much self-reflection. You don't deserve any of this pain. I mean, the guy cheated and he isn't doing anything to help you feel secure and trusting towards him. Seriously... If your description of yourself in my last thread is correct, then you must have a selection of guys to choose from. Who wouldn't want someone like that? so why would you stick to someone who isn't treating you with respect?
ihateslowjams Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 What the ****ing ****. Delete his number. Turn off your phone. Call the phone company in the morning and BLOCK HIS NUMBER. Get on Facebook right now. Delete him. Block his email. Block ALL access he has to ever contact you in any way, shape or form. IT IS REALLY HARD BUT IT IS MORE THAN WORTH IT TO DO IT RIGHT NOW. It will hurt but what will hurt even more is his continuing cruelty. If you do not do this, then I will come over there and do it for you. Do not ever talk to him again. He is dead to you. Please, realize that we are here to support you. I'm sorry it had to go down like this. Now you know his true colors. I agree with this, CUT ALL CONTACT WITH HIM AT ONCE you need to walk away from him, its not healthy for you at all...
SeventhFloor Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 I have to start medical school in three days... how could he destroy me like this right before school.... THIS IS THE CHANCE YOU HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR! Can you IMAGINE how it would be if he had done this 6 months down the line, when you are swamped with exams? Now you have an excuse to get completely lost in your work and forget about him! It hurts. A lot, I bet. In a few weeks, you'll realize that this was a blessing in disguise. I'm still very sorry you had to go through this. I went through similar... 2
zanzi Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 I hope youv'e decided not to speak to him anymore as it will make you feel worse. Right now you need to (safely) let yourself feel how you feel and cry it out if you need to which you will need to. But remember that you are not alone. We want to help, all want to help each other get through this. You need to get your freinds behind you and family if you get on with them and begin the painful process of healing. Use logic and ask yourself why you would give your time to someone who claims to love you one minute and does cruel things to try to hurt you the next. Is there a friend you can call sometime soon?
Author sendme Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 this hurts so much.... it doesn't feel like an out... it just feels cruel and vicious...
Author sendme Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 Zanzi... it's 1:45 am here... I don't have anyone I can call... there's only one friend who I could tell this to and she's on east coast us time so it's crazy early her time....
zanzi Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 Call her in the morning. Or somebody who will support you. Yes? friends can be helpful. In that case, it sounds as though you need to do these things and then try to get some sleep. You are in a state of shock and hurting. You need to take care of yourself from now on. ah sorry. where I am, it is 8:56 pm. I got confused by time zones.
Author sendme Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 I just want to call him.... call his hotel room his phone... anything just to hear him say it didn't just happen
Author sendme Posted July 30, 2012 Author Posted July 30, 2012 how do I do this.... how do I not call... I agree letting him know he hurt me will only feed his ego... although of course he already knows he hurt me... anyone would be able to figure that out....
zanzi Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 I know how you feel. But if you do call him, he is going to say insensitive, jerk like things. If you must talk to him, wouldnt it be better to do it in the morning? once you have slept and can talk more rationally and calmly to each other? Otherwise there will be a major blow out, and you will both say things you will regret again. You wouldnt want him to think you waited up just to call him either. He doesnt deserve your call.
ihateslowjams Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 how do I do this.... how do I not call... I agree letting him know he hurt me will only feed his ego... although of course he already knows he hurt me... anyone would be able to figure that out.... at the moment, since you said its about 2 am, work out right now at home. every time i want to make contact with my ex, i work out and it helps greatly. just focus on it and only it, nothing else. 1
Recommended Posts