tryingtofindmyway24 Posted July 30, 2012 Posted July 30, 2012 Been in a relationship with my bf for over a 1.5yrs I have several posts on here in great detail, but this one is different. I have come to the conclusion where I will no longer hold on to him. He told me he stop loveing me this past friday because i told him that i didnt want to be with him anymore. He took this and got upset went back to ignoring me and we live together. I have decided to moveout without telling him. Since he has told me several times that he doesnt care if i moveout or if he ever sees me again. This will show him that I don't care either. I am tired of waiting for him to change and be someone that he will never be. So i am done and over and right not it doesnt hurt me that he told me he doesnt love me because he has showed that he doesnt by saying very nasty things to me. I already prepared myself by his actions so all i needed was conformation out of his mouth and just a hour ago he just confirmed he doesnt love me and you know what i am fine with that because he doesnt deserve me its his loss not mines....
jgregory4614 Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 He could be feeling two things. I'm a guy so most of us are the same and I've been through the same thing you two are going through a few times. 1. He could be telling you the truth. Some guys do lose interest because they see all ther friends dating other girls and he feels pressured as a man to do the same. Its not his friends that are pressuring him its himself. 2. He could be telling you this because you destroyed his pride and feels the need to get back at you by saying he dosent love you anymore. A man that gets dumbed makes us feel like (sorry for the language) pussies! So... apply the No Contact rule. Don't call him or wright letters. No Contact means just that. Keep us updated. Love Life! 1
Author tryingtofindmyway24 Posted July 31, 2012 Author Posted July 31, 2012 Thanks for your advice from a man's prospective. It hurts because we have so much invested in our relationship even though it has been a 1.5yrs it feels like forever with all the b.s we been through together. For him to just say he doesnt love me and show it, but this whole time in our relationship he told me "I was the first girl he had ever fallen in love with and he will always love me no matter what his love will never change." Now I just think he was playing the part just for sex and the convience of us living together and me giving him wifely duties and we were not married. we talked about it, but I was hesitant due to the fact that I never really felt like he was "really with me". It's like I want to believe he is just saying that mean stuff just to hurt me, but he is sure as heck acting like he was telling the truth about not loving me. we still live together and I am waiting to here back for my new lease rather I have been accepted or not then I can move out. He leaves the house anytime he gets on the phone. When he comes in he walks right past me as if I was not standing there... So should I just give up on all the should've been, used to be, and could've been with us and just cut my loses while I'm still young im 24yrs he is 23yrs and very immature for his age alot of people think he is beneath me and didn't understand why I was dating him even his friends didnt understand how he was able to pull me since we are completely opposite.
BooBoo1982 Posted July 31, 2012 Posted July 31, 2012 If you told him you didn't want to be with him anymore maybe he is just saying he doesn't love you to get back at you, moving out and having time apart will probably do you both good, give you both time to think about what you really want. Good luck 1
Author tryingtofindmyway24 Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 Thanks i know the saying love something let it go if it comes back to you it was yours if it doesnt than you'll never know or it was never yours to begin with. Well I did this to him I loved him and I left, but I came backonce I realized that I didnt want to live life without him. So I take it he is trying to do the same thing make sure i'm the one, but what if its not the same with him what if we never get back together again im scared to find this out yet I really want to know if we're meant to be. By our rocky relationship we have survived everything so one will say yes, but he doesnt think we should be together because of the rockiness even though we have survived it all....any advice?
Tyler. Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Yeah move out. He told you he didn't love you anymore, and that's where the line is. Furthermore, if you're not happy with how he treats you, and warned him about this before, there is no need to wait for him to change, because people don't. Both you and him should find people who love them just the way they are, and not asking for changes. I'm glad you're not too sensitive about this, it makes it easier to see things clearly and make up your mind. 1
Author tryingtofindmyway24 Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 Yeah move out. He told you he didn't love you anymore, and that's where the line is. Furthermore, if you're not happy with how he treats you, and warned him about this before, there is no need to wait for him to change, because people don't. Both you and him should find people who love them just the way they are, and not asking for changes. I'm glad you're not too sensitive about this, it makes it easier to see things clearly and make up your mind. I mean i am a little bit sensetive towards this because I actually love him and I know that through love all things are possible, but I was the only one in the relationship. He felt as though if we were really in love then everything with us would have been prefect no arguments, no fussing , no nagging just pure love. Thats bs because we all have problems and nothing in this world is prefect and I told him that he was crazy to think that the love we proclaimed for eachother was not going to be tested. Those tests were to test us and our love for eachother. We passed them, but he says that if it was love they shouldnt have happened in the first place and I dont understand his concept on that....? Yesterday he told me that he does love me he is just trying to fight the love he has for me why is that it makes no sense why try to fight love?
BooBoo1982 Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Men are crazy! Get away and give him time to think, pushing and pushing will only make things worse. We push and push and sometimes they will crack and say something terrible just to get us to stop, just give him time and space and let him decide for himself how he feels and what he wants. 1
Author tryingtofindmyway24 Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 Men are crazy! Get away and give him time to think, pushing and pushing will only make things worse. We push and push and sometimes they will crack and say something terrible just to get us to stop, just give him time and space and let him decide for himself how he feels and what he wants. I know its just sucks because i really love him and i really tried to make it work and busted my a** to regain his trust he never believe I loved him and Idont see how he can say that i never showed him my love i think thats bs...
Author tryingtofindmyway24 Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 (edited) How did you lose his trust? By dumping him due to gigs...I was married before and I met him during the divorce process. I had only been with my ex H my first everything and h.s sweetheart. When my bf came along i was not really ready to commit so soon due to just coming out of a 4yr marriage then ended in infidelity on ex H part the whole marriage this was going on. I was in a dark place my bf helped me get over my ex H, but he wanted more then just a friendship and pressured me into a serious relationship with him. I expressed to him I was not ready for this because I never dating anyone other than my ex H and I wanted to explore. Not necessarily have sex but I wanted to date other people first. My bf was not ok with this so I give him a relationship to please him but deep down I knew that I would end up talking to other people behind is back and this is exactly why i didnt want a relationship with him or anyone for that matter because I needed to find me... I was 15yrs when i met my ex H, 19yrs when we got married and 23yrs when the marriage failed. So as you can see I was pretty young when all that happened. My bf was great at first and was like an angel sent to me to get over the feelings I once had for my ex H, but I wanted to make sure that he was THE ONE because the last time I married and dated only one person who I thought was the one it fall apart and I didnt want that to happen again. in the first month of the relationship my bf wanted to marry me this is where I think g.i.g.s came into to play with this whole story. That scared me because it was too soon for me to think about marriage again it was a sore spot which led me to kiss another guy one month into our relationship even though he knew that I didnt want to be in a serious relationship he never really forgave me or got over it for that matter... I have other posts on here longer than this one explaining the situation in great detail if you care to read them....Thanks. Edited August 1, 2012 by tryingtofindmyway24
BooBoo1982 Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Have you made plans to move out? Have you got somewhere to go?
Author tryingtofindmyway24 Posted August 2, 2012 Author Posted August 2, 2012 yes i made plans to move out be so far they have not came thru....also now he has went back on his word and said he does love me and now he wants to be with me and he will show me, but all of his actions matched up with his words as far as disrespecting me and im not buying it. 1
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